Putting My Life Into Order

catandy

you know that makes sense - ok the payments for the cc are on dd and taken out automatically but your right i need to make provision that my rent is covered without issue regardless of the shakiness of being paid by some companies. so i'm changing over the DD this pm to my account where all monies come in from my one definite contract. that way i dont have to worry about moving money between accounts or making sure ive got enough to cover it as i know it will be there. thankyou - i cant believe i hadnt thought of doing it already :S

cancelled payments, some have gone thru at the reduced rates that were confirmed to me when I phoned to arrange them, others have gone thru still at the higher amounts. It is all sorted from next month so maybe I just missed the cut off dates on some of them, I'm getting that I cant be on the phone complaining any more cos it feels like Im spending my whole life doing that:)

short_bird

No probs!

About the business: there's a thing called "sunk costs". It gets mentioned a lot in hoarding circles, as people often think "I've got to keep that as I paid so much for it" even though it's beyond repair, doesn't fit... whatever:) How much you paid for something shouldn't be a factor when you're looking to get rid of stuff: what you've put into the business shouldn't be a factor in your decision whether you stay or go. HTH.

catandy

i got on the fone today contacting all the companies i have worked for in the past and pulled in a new project which start next week - so income is back up to 2 x ft jobs and there will be money left over at the end of the months to pay some of the debts and bring the figures down a bit

the payment holiday on the loan ive put on hold for now till I really need it. im just about managing to make all payments plus some extra so want to save the buffer incase im ever really stuck in the future and need it more than i do now.

part time job from home is the project for the weekend - im going to do a half day tomorrow and a full day sunday to bring me up to the minimum payout level then the rest of the month is just bonus for anything extra i can earn doing that.

when i was speaking to my landlord about changing my DD details I got my figures for how much I'm still in arrears to work out when the payments can come down on that. as of this month arrears stand at 195 and im clearing 100 off that each month so by Dec it will be clear - ive still got to clear the 200 in legal fees to take off the suspended eviction notice on top of that and want to get a month infront so may of next year i will be totally in the clear and able to bring the payment down permanantly and free up another 100pm on bills so that will speed up the process even more.

catandy

ok ive been thinking about my overdraft and how i can bring it down and the truth is until I find a way to up my income significantly or pay off a chunk on the CC that I have im ending up getting bounced fees on main direct debits on my account cos my OD fees are changing by the month and are being taken out when ive accounted for money to be there for bills to go out.

Im opening a new bank account with another provider that will take care of processing my money coming in, benefits etc and all my DD and SO. Then whatever I have left at the end of the month is split equally between the CC and the OD to start bringing them down. At least that way I've got no nasty surprises and payments and fees going out that i dont expect so I can actually start controlling things cos at the moment its the bank thats got all the control :mad: then again i could just have my od taken away from me and then im in real trouble - you know im just totally confused with what is going on and how to fix this. my head is just going round in circles.

ive also got to contact one of the payment providers we use for the business and find out why the payment has been made out - we changed the bank they pay into onto the business details and now the payments have stopped completely.... just at the right time as ever.:(

at the moment i just dont feel im getting anywhere i could just quite easily sit here and cry with the frustration at getting nowhere despite doing my damndest.

Ex and his daughter are yokes around my neck, I did a benefit calculation yesterday for housing benefit, if ex signed on (which he may as well be doing he doesnt have a contract again and got nothing thats likely to come off in the short term, plus jsa would pay him more than hes getting on WTC plus he can sign off again if/when this damn business of ours eventually starts to work (if that is ever going to happen). anyway the 2 options for him are_

stay as is - wtc only income pw - 45p/w no rent being paid again
ex sign on - jsa rates - he gets 65p/w and im entitled to 16£ pw housing benefit and £2 and a few pennies p/w CTC. No brainer isnt it really - I raised it with him but hes not going to sign on until things are desparate. so what does he think they are??

his daughter has given the telephone number and my address to a firm of debt collectors as 'I can just tell them she's not in when they phone/ call'. shes moving again in the new year from her flat shes been in for just less than 6 months so i think shes running from debt again and moving on before she starts being chased in earnest. and i wonder how many other companies will be contacting my number for money she owes. i tried to talk to her about it this morning when she told me why im starting to get the calls and she just got 'emotional' told me I cant deal with this right now and hung up on me. Ok, spose that means ive got to sort it out then, or at least deal with the calls as they come in.

what is making me so angry about all this is my sons are the ones that are going without and im saying no to all the time, Ex's life is just the same, his daughters and GD's life just carries on and Im so stressed I feel like exploding.

im also going for more treatment on Friday which I know means that Im going to unable to put the hours in i do normally which means a hit again moneywise. the first lot of treatment just wiped me out and made it so i couldnt function for a couple of days - not good when its only my money keeping everyone.

sorry this is such a downer post (if anyone is still reading at this stage) - ive just totally run out of ideas and inspiration and effort now.:(

katieandlee

Hi hun, just read your last post, I'm sorry you're feeling so down at the moment, things are bound to look up soon.
I'm not sure if I've missed something previously but is there a reason why ex is still living with you? Wouldn't you be better off if he wasn't? Like I say sorry if you've already posted about that already. As for ex's daughter, she needs to face up to her own debt and not leave you to deal with the calls, what does your ex say about this?
Hope you feel better soon *hugs* xx

*Robin*

Hi, have a (((hug))) now take a deep breath..

What's this about Ex and his partner? If he's moved on emotionally then kick him out - he can go and live with her or in a cardboard box!

Then at least you could get in a lodger who'd make a positive difference to your house finances.

Remember no one is indispensable - you can always employ someone else to do Ex's job when you've got enough work to justify it - Lord knows there are plenty of well qualified people unemployed at the moment.

As for his daughter - time to tell the debt recovery people where she lives and refuse to have anything to do with her avoidance techniques - you need to look after yourself and your kids!
By the way I do hope you didn't pay her catalogue debt?

Sorry this is such a brusque reply - am fuming on your behalf!

More (((hugs))) and stay strong!

Rainbow_Bridge

Hi honey,

Robin has hit the nail on the head, your ex and his gd sound like a noose around your neck, and you need to cut the rope quick.

How dare they treat you like this!!!!

This monetary journey has it's ups and downs, you are making progress, don't let a momentary slip turn into a landslide. When you are ready dust yourself down and keep fighting xxxx.

catandy

I've taken a few days out to think about what I can change with all whats going on. I've also had another chemo treatment and not been quite so bad this time round so far (fingers crossed anyway).

ex and business partner i've sat down with and we've pulled up a plan of action. I've told him in no uncertain terms that I cant live the way things are and we either need to make provision to move this business on and hopefully start making a bit of an income from it so we can both move on with our lives separately or we call it quits with the business/ what we have left of a friendship and we both walk away now.

It helps that one of the projects we had come in goes live over this weekend so it will give us an indication if theres any chance of this ever working or not. Saturday is do or die day. the company plan to start using our system Saturday and we will know pretty quickly if its going to work or not.

so if not we have given ourselves 3 months to split lives, if it does work 4 months to make for a tidier and more comfortable split. i think thats more than fair and it means that i can see light at the end of the tunnel and it means ive got some semblance of control over things. ive got to say ex also seems to be relieved that we've agreed to some cut off date and rules as well so perhaps its the best all round this way.

........................................................................................

in other news -

this month has been a good month for me workwise after a really slow start - i just wish my industry wasnt so volatile and i didnt have to go through this every month, having said that i really dont want to work in a real job from an office so its a price i guess i have to pay.

balances are not really coming down - ok loan is and lower rate cc are. highest rate cc ive got to make an extra payment that matches the minimum payment that ive already made which means i dont have enough in one chunk to start making inroads into that. well actually they are being paid off oh so very slowly as im noticing a tiny improvement in the interest added each month - some of them its just £1 less a month but at least its heading in the right direction.

on the lower rate cc which are being reduced im tracking my credit limit down as im making payments off on them - plan to do the same with my OD as i start making inroads into paying that off.

menu planning is working out great, as is just having one car though that will be extra expense for me when we do split up and i need to be 'my own person'. DD are now all going thru at reduced rates or have succesfully cancelled.

part time job from home im going to make the minimum payout this month and thats all but it is going to come off the highest rate CC so it will make an impact. From next month I need to make myself do some on it every day whether i want to or not.

weekend after next ive got an exciting time planned listing loads of stuff on e**y so got to wait and see how that works out. i'm thinking of joining the earn £10 extra per day from next month to give myself something to aim for but dont know if it would end up discouraging me when im doing badly like I am now. oh well i can always aim for £5 a day and any more is bonus uh?

ok going to do some of my pt job now as ive already done enough for day time contract/ job

catandy

I'm really on tenterhooks with the contract for the business it officially goes live in just under an hour and has already made us £50 itoday. I think its going to work but I feel like im tempting fate saying that:o

ive got everything crossed for this to work!!:T

Moneymash

Hi Catandy,

I am following your diary, but usually read it at night via email whilst at work. I was sorry to read you were upset at your slow progress but it sounds as if things are looking up moneywise, with the changes to the DDs and this new contract. Good luck with it, I hope it works out.