Do you feel paralysed by debt (or is it just me?!)

1_step_closer

Sea I understand completely. There I am being frugal 80% of the time (ok we nearly all have a blip where those few groceries turn into what on earth did I buy) when hubby starts moaning about his money and asking when am I going to get a second job as he has one. Yes, 3 hours every sat doing very little. My second job isa cleaning up after the ungrateful pig.. So I gritted my teeth made a couple of suggestions and tried to be positive for him.

Today I was close to tears, fretting like mad over Npower and how much they cost, worrying like mad. So you aren't alone. The end is in sight, just on a different planet I think!

So chin up girly...............failing that, come round for a cuppa that we can both bawl into!

southernscouser

Surely I'm not the only one who deliberately got into debt because it's such a cracking laugh? :undecided

GirlRacer_2

Hey southernscousers got his sense of humour back!

Sea78

HI all - thank you so much for the lovely replies and the PMs - all has made me feel so much better I still feel kind of frustrated, but your replies have helped me see how I can move on from this and look more to the positives and the things I have already achieved. Will be thinking about this more. i am also going to try to put into action some of the suggestions.

So am off to have a lovely bubble bath and hope I can't hear the xbox, with guns, shouting and bombing while there!!!

Thanks again - you lot are fabulous

Sea xxxxx

slowlyfading

keep your chin up, you're doing so much better than you realise. x

ms_london

Sea78 - I hope you are feeling somewhat cheerier today!!

I know that I am not in debt anymore, but I still wanted to post because I do understand, and now I dont have my debt to worry about I have shifted my focus onto losing weight :rolleyes: - the next on my "What If" list...

The money pressures are still there regardless of whether you're in debt or not. I am trying to save (again!!) at the moment and I am watching my pennies big time, having no spend days, etc etc - even if I wasnt saving, I wouldnt have the income to eat out all the time, be out drinking all the time, always buying new clothes, having lots of holidays, always buying lunch out, etc etc etc. I think youve got to realise your limitations - and who would want to waste their hard earned cash on this crap anyway, when at the end of the day you'll have NOTHING at all to show for it? (its how I ran up the debt to start with, but being in debt makes me realise that material possessions DONT matter).

There will always be people out there who are more fashionable, but I dont have the money, time or inclination to keep up with them - so long as you are comfortable that you look nice (regardless of whether you're wearing primark - oh how I miss primark - or prada!!). Small treats do help, but even now I dont want to waste my money on expensive face creams, or stuff that just masks (pardon the pun!) the issue - there are loads of things out there that can lift your spirits without costing the earth. As someone else mentioned, I used to get really excited when I received a pigsback voucher in the post, or make use of a free dvd trial, or getting a book from the library that youve wanted for ages, but didnt want to pay $20 for.

Just look at southernscouser and his car mats?

I know when you have a bad day there is no amount of positive thinking that will help, and sometimes it doesnt hurt to wallow in it (but only for a short time mind!).

You've acknowledged the fact that you are in debt and are working towards clearing it, thats a good thing on its own. I am grateful I am debt free at 26, but then I look at other 26 year olds who have so much more, but so what - thats life!! I may have done things that they havent, and you have two beautiful kids, that perhaps other 28 year olds who seem to have the earth dont have, and maybe cant have.

Have a good day chick (and everyone else out there who is feeling the same!!).

Big hugs from Sydney.

xx

Sea78

Thanks ms london - I have fully wallowed now! Had a fab bath, although it did involve reading 'The Money Drunk' which wasn't so relaxing. Am determined to try to be more positive and when those threads come up about 'what have you achieved so far' etc I willactually respond instead of thinking 'nothing!!'.

Invited a friend round this morning with her son, so that was nice. My ds has been a crying pain (teething I think) but I've been cuddling him lots just now and I am feeling better from that as well!

Going to start back on the exercise as well as hopefully that will tone up some lardiness! Might also start recording somewhere the things I haev achieved each day - might use one of my little notebooks

thanks again for all the replies - I really appreciate it.

Sea xxx

OberonSH

I know some days it just feels like we can't get on with living our lives, because of the debt. It's like, your life won;t actually start until the last penny is paid off.

But we have to remember that if your DFD is 5 years off, that's 5 years of watching your kids growing, of cackling with glee cos you got another precious £2, and of doing teh everyday things we do, just with less cash than the rest of the world.

We've all got to crack on, and just remember that just becasue we're not throwing money down the drain like the rest of the world, this doesn't make us second class citizens. I am a person, not a credit agreement number.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time chick, have a bubble bath, and remember that every da is a day closer.

Becks_in_Debt

Sea, instead of jotting everything down that you have achieved that day in a note book why dont you do it on here, that way you have all your friends here giving you encouragement and on a bad day we are here to help aswell. It will give us all will power to do things and change things.
Being a mum/friend/partner you always achieve something new everyday most of the time without even realising it. Just a thought. . .

nearlyrich

LaraHoust wrote: »

Hello Sea

I hope you're feeling better today. It's hard when everything seems to be all about money, debt, house, clothes, figure :eek:

I am going away for my friend's hen night in a few weeks, we are going to Alicante (!) which all my very successful friends have the money for, whereas I had to sell loads of college books for the flights. Now I have to buy swimwear (boo) been avoiding that for aages. And all my friends have been on crazy diets for their weddings, they all have good jobs, nice houses. I will be exposing my pasty flab and making all the usual excuses for why I don't have said house/job/engagement ring.

But then I imagine myself as a scrumpled up piece of paper being squashed by all these pressures. I will end up having some serious issues if I keep letting it all get to me.

Then I imagine myself as a bouncy ball (I can't believe I am actually telling this to people) one of those ones you had as a kid with loads of glitter. No matter how much I get squeezed I will still be there, being me, not being deformed by any pressures. And not being defined by what I have, but by who I am, living it on my own terms.

It makes me feel surprisingly better!

Best wishes

Lara

What a great image, bouncy ball covered in glitter:T I love it.

Have you checked out the dreaded Tesco for swimwear? they have some nice tankinis and they look a lot more expensive than they are.;)