In so much trouble - can't see a way out.

spendaholic66

Didn't want to read and run. I really feel for your situation but man alive you are being so brave! Rather than bury your head in the sand you have phoned all the right people and you ARE making good choices. Don't feel low about yourself, you are doing everything you can to sort out your situation. Also with regards to your daughters birthday, it's not what presents they receive that makes memories, it's the time they spend with the people they love.

I'm subscribing to the post and hope to keep reading positive steps you are taking. Things will get easier. Thinking of you.

PS, if you live near me I can definitely sort you out with some food parcel vouchers xx

jessegee

have you othe benefits office etc? Make an appt, go and see them, they may be able to help support you.

best wishes

jesse x

alldownhill_2

Hello Mushy Pea,

Having only just signed up to MSE i can't really give any advice but want to thank you as YOU have given me inspiration. My head is now out of where the sun doesn't shine & moving upwards towards my shoulders .

I read you have been on flea-bay, which is good & have you thought about a car boot sale ? my wife went this morning with a car loaded full of stuff that, well normally would throw away. £12 fee to pitch, cleared £48 profit . We are currently clearing the loft of mainly the kids old clothes & toys from when they were small to do another boot sale next week. ( just an idea )

Thoughts are with you mushy

Takeaway_Addict

is it worth putting an SOA on here for people to see if there is anything really obvious?

Can you look at working more than you do now?
Any friends and family around to help look after kids etc?

nicp60

Oh Mushy!
I feel for you so much! I too have looked into the abyss and contemplated the unthinkable. You are not alone!!!!
You are doing unbelievably well, and as everyone else has said- if you haven't got it....!
I have learnt to live on virtually next to nothing and still managed to be happy. It is a long road, and it is hard, but you will get there!

This board is the reason that I (and many others, I'm sure) am still here.
Stick with it, you will make it.
All the best of luck and happiness, N x

EclipsedMind

mushy_pea wrote: »

I can't believe how positive i feel right now. I know it is temporary and more than likely by this evening, i will be back to usual, but i like it! Long live ignorant bliss!

I don't see why it should be temporary as you are managing very well the things that are within your control. I think it is quite reasonable to not worry about things you cannot influence or we would never come out from under the duvet each day (I admit that can be a struggle anyway).

I can say without a shadow of a doubt you are managing far better than most people would in the same situation. I will follow this thread and you have my ongoing best wishes and prayers. It is apparent to me your kids are so lucky to have such a dedicated parent and role model.

EM

mrs_motivated

Couldn't just read and run.

The first few posts from you were so heartbreaking and I really feel for you..... but the already the last few are more optimistic and practical. :T

Good luck sweetie x

StressedSteph

Hi Mushypea

Just like all the others I could'nt read and run. We too were in a similar situation not long ago and although we still have alot of debt we are slowly digging ourselves out of the hole. Keep smiling its only money and like some previous posters have said, they can't take what you don't have.

I have a load of girlys toys that I was going to carboot but if you are not too proud, I would love for you to PM me your address and I will package up some nice girly toys for your children. You can use them for birthdays or Christmas, at least it will be one weight off your mind, as I know how horrible it makes you feel not being able to buy your children a present.

PLEASE pm me and i will sort some stuff out :smileyhea

Steph xx

AppleMatt

Hey mushypea, just checking how you're doing?

mushy_pea

Hello!

I'm back! Thank you for all the lovely posts. Apologies for the lack of responses, but typically, my laptop broke and this is the first chance i have had to get to the library and update. Big set back, but i am positive it can be fixed.

I've been busy! Basically been trying to sell anything that isn't nailed down. Been using the local paper as no internet, but it's been fine and no fees! Even so, almost had a breakdown last weekend, after i sat there wondering if we actually needed 2 2-seater settee. But had a cry, got it out and then burst into laughter as i imagined me and my girls in a stark bare room, all huddled round a lightbulb for warmth! Not sure if that's keeping my spirits up or insanity creeping in!;)

Ok, so my youngest daughter's birthday went really well. I found an old game that belonged to my eldest, so i wrapped that up in newspaper with a few dressing up things in Poundland. One happy little girl! I also managed to sell my unit in the living room, so i had enough money to buy her some new shoes and do a little tea party.

Had a very down moment when i sold my saxophone that my beloved dad bought me not long before he died. Still, i'm sure he would have approved as it was enough to pay some childcare off and keep the baying utility wolves from my door. Also had enough left over to send my eldest to a birthday party holding a decent present. (She started at an excellent private grammar school - i get fees and her travelpass paid for, but i still worry that she will be singled out and picked on.)

Still got more to sell, so that will hopefully keep my afloat for a little while longer, especially since it's my other daughter's 13th in November, not to mention Christmas. Still, corny and sappy as it sounds, this really has shown me you don't need a huge amount of money for happy children. Hopefully, that will still be as true for a teenager as it is for a toddler! I've shielded them as much as i can from all this, but i just hope my eldest doesn't ask for anything super expensive for her birthday.

Ex is enjoying his freedom on JSA. He also has his bonuses from previous months to keep him going, so i am not holding out for him to get a job in the next couple of months at least. And no, the CSA aren't interested in his undeclared bonuses.

Most of my creditors seem happy with the reduced PayPlan payment, so that is a weight off my mind. I have been called many times and had lots of letters through, but i just ignore them and inform PayPlan.

So all in all, pretty good progress. Little bit worried about the upcoming home insurance renewal and other things, but one thing at a time. At least i am still here, the kids eat well and are happy. In my situation, what more could i ask for, i suppose?!

I'm not sure if you all realise the effect your kind words (especially about being a good mother) and encouragement have on people. I really can't thank you all enough and i love you all.

x