In so much trouble - can't see a way out.

mushy_pea

Hello people,

I am in so much debt i don't know what to do.
Actually, it's not the debt so much, it's everything else, day-to-day living that i just can't afford.

I was doing so well before, but now it's all gone to pot and i am totally lost. I am in a DMP with PayPlan (original DFD 2026) and was managing ok, but things have happened (oven and hoover broke, car needed a new tyre, school uniform) and my ex lost his job so i have lost £200 in maintenance money each month, leaving me close to a breakdown.

I have missed the last 2 PayPlan payments, so annoyed my creditors who were previously quite reasonable. Tesco keep calling and sending letters about getting nasty. I am not answering my phone anymore. I have done a revised draft of my income and expenditure for PayPlan, but am left with a fraction left to repay my debts instead of the £100 i was previously paying (i owe £16k). No way they will accept this.

More worryingly, i haven't paid my daughter's nursery fees or my mortage for 6 weeks. I have had to cancel this month's TV licence, gas and electricity and phone direct debits this month to try and ensure i have enough money in my account to avoid overdrawn bank charges. Just waiting for the repercussions of those now.

I just can't afford to live anymore. I have borrowed as much as i can, so now owe even more. I can't sleep. All i survive on is caffeine and tinned tomatoes on toast, so that my children can eat proper healthy food. I've sold loads on eBay, including my some of my children's toys. It's their birthdays soon and the home insurance is due, and i don't know what to do.

I am sitting here, in tears, just looking around my living room wondering what else i can sell. This isn't living.

Apologies for the rambling email, but i honestly don't know how i can continue like this.

[Deleted User]

didnt want to read and run,just one comment if you are having problems paying the mortgage speak to your lender they maybe able to help
and remember its always darkest before the dawn x

notgotenough£

Sorry you r so down. You sound like you are at rock bottom. I think you need to speak to payplan again. Is a dmp definitely the right thing for you? Like the post says contact your mortgage company and explain the situation. Maybe you could to some arrangement with them

I too am in a situation of looking round for what I can sell we have approx £20 to last us the rest of the month.

Take a deep breath. Ring them first thing in the morning. At least talking to payPlan and mortgage company might make you feel like you are tackling it
Good luck xx

mushy_pea

Thanks for your responses guys.
I have just redone my budget - realised i had forgot to deduct the child maintenance and my increased gas and electricity amount (it was an unrealistic amount in there before) .
It now turns out negative.
I literally do not have enough money each month to live on, let alone pay PayPlan, Will call them first thing in the morning and see what they say.
x

dancingfairy

Hi. Hopefully your ex will find a new job soon and start paying maintenance. I think perhaps it is worth talking to the mortgage company about a mortgage holiday for a while if they can help?
Also it might be worth double checking you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to as well.
Do you have any charities near by that might be able to help out with food etc? You'll feel a lot better if you can get a decent meal inside you to deal with everything.
You could consider bankruptcy to deal with the debts possibly but that will depend on how much equity there in the house whether it is worth it for you. Also that will solve the debt problems but obviously would still mean you would be tight for money and to pay the bills.
Can you sell the house and move into rented? Would rental be cheaper? Would you then be eligible for help with housing benefit and council tax benefit etc? I appreciate this is not something you probably want to think about.
Hopefully this is just a blip for you.
df

couponqueen123

ONE STEP AT A TIME IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER

if you go see your local health visitor/doctor you might be elagbile for food bank vouchers where they will give you a few meals a week to help you out

a friend of mine is in a similar situation and she gets them also have you tryed claiming healthy star vouchers if your childen

also do you have any friends you could have a real proper chat with and maybe help you out ( cook you a few meals i do this for my friend i make a big stew/soup and take some over )
most real friends would never see you strugle so dont be afraid to ask for help if i live near you id help with food/suport PM where you live if you want to and if we live near by ill more than hapily cook a few meals for you and be a shoulder to moan on

as for debt just remember they cant take what you HAVEN'T got so just pay what you can and with the mortgage ring them and pour your heart out and more than likely they will help as most mortgage company's don't want the hassle of repossetion its a massive and expensive job

as for the child mat ask your ex to help out more just because he dosnt have job dosnt mean he can shirk responsibility

Payplan_company_representative

Hi mushy pea, I am so sorry to read that you are struggling. If you haven't already, you should speak to your case officer as soon as you can and we can help you with the creditor side of things.

If you would like to contact me directly on gemma.burton@payplan.com I can get your case officer to call you.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Gemma

jaydensrara

hope you feeling better.
have you checked with benefits people to see if you are entitled to any extra help.
tax credits help with childcare fees (often up to 80%)
talk to the c a b and they'll be able to offer help and advise.

mushy_pea

Ok, have been busy today.

Found out 2 payments have been rejected from my bank account due to insufficient funds. Another £30 fine then. Great.
Phoned Scottish Power (and broke down!). Am in a bit of credit, so have managed to halve my payments for the next 2 months. (This should at least enable me to buy some food for the kids and get me just off the red petrol sign)
Phone mortgage co, sending me out a financial difficulties pack and going to take it from there.
Phoned PayPlan (and broke down!). Got an appointment with my case officer on Monday. Feel better as he went through the charging order etc, so less worried about losing my home.

Thank you all for your advice and support. I no longer feel like ending it all, (mainly because i am not thinking about it). Dont' worry - i have my kids, so i won't! As soon as i think though, i start to cry and am filled with such self loathing, embarassment and disgrace, it's untrue.

One day at a time i guess...

girlatplay

No way could I read and run. Never ever give up. It is a low blip for you but it will get better. I'm so glad to read your latest post. I am so glad you are getting help. One thing I can say is that there is no need to be embarrassed about your situation on this forum, LOADS of people are in similar circumstances, probably some worse if you get a chance to read them all. Keep posting for amazing support. (((hugs)))

katieandlee

So glad to read your final post and that you feel like you are getting somewhere. I've subscribed and just to wish you all the best x