To work or not to work: That is my question!

bridgemant

Hi All

Sorry if this is not posted in the correct place, I'm not sure!

My current situation: I am married and have 3 children aged 11,9 and 2.

My husband works 50 hours a week and earns a decent wage. I currently work 25 hours a week and earn £10,000 p/a.

We receive very little help from the government, only our child benefit and £60 per week Tax Credits.

My DH works such unsociable hours, I never get to see him and my childcare is all over the place because of this.

My children are passed around to lots of different people just so that we can go to work. I'm tired all the time because when I'm not working, I'm practically a single parent doing everything at home by myself as DH is working or sleeping.

I have no savings, and currently live fairly close to the wire when it comes to money as our monthly bills come to £1100 (none of this is debt, it's just rent, council tax, water, car insurances etc etc...) The rest of our money goes on fuel and food but we do have approx £200 a month for other things such as X'Mas and birthdays.

I really don't know how long I can go on like this? I want to be at home with my children, doing what Mum's should do with their babes and being a good wife who actually sees her husband more than once a week.

This may sound very petty, but I really do miss being a family!

If I were to give up work, I don't think we'd have enough money to pay our bills and feed the children. Is there a way I could find out what help Tax Credits might give us if I'm not working? The online tax credits calculator is poor and doesn't help as it doesn't ask what you expect to earn this tax year, just what you earnt last year!

Other families seem to get by without both partners having to work. I just want to know how they do it, or has anyone on here given up work to raise a family?

Thanks for taking the time to read this, any comments are gratefully received?!

Notmyrealname

Hi. Pop the figures into Entitledto.com. When it comes to putting in your income, put in what you have earned this tax year to date and for DH, put in what he'll earn for the year. That'll give you an approximation of what you'd get if you quit now.

When working out what you'll need to live on, remember you'll no longer have childcare to pay for nor the expenses involved with your current job such as all the travel costs running to/from work and going round various childminders.

I would also pop over to the Debt Free Wannabee forum and see if they can find a way to help you cut your costs.

Plenty of people have given up work to look after a family. The state takes up some of the slack but usually it means a drop in living standards such as maybe forgoing a new car, foreign holiday, a meal out every week, smoking etc...

bridgemant

Thanks for that reply. I'll try the calculator

Just so you know, we already live a fairly sorry life when it comes to luxuary items. We haven't been on holiday for years, have not got new cars (although we do run 2 of them), and rarely go out as we can't afford it, lol!

Face1992

If you have £200 per month to do whatever you like with, then you aren't really doing that bad!

How much do you think you should have left to just fritter after paying all of your bills?

pickpocketlocket

bridgemant wrote: »

This may sound very petty, but I really do miss being a family!

You're only working 25 hours!

bridgemant

£200 isn't a lot of money if you have to buy school uniforms for 3 children or tax 2 cars or pay for school trips or buy christmas presents for 5 people...

I know it sounds awful as I know there are pleanty of people out there who would love to have £200 a month "spare" money but to be fair, it's not money to waste, it's going on things that are necessary, they just don't fall into the category of food or bills!

As for the hours I work. Yes, I only work 25 hours but my husband works 50+ hours so we don't have any FAMILY time. If he's at home, I'm at work. He works nights, usually from 6pm til 6am and then sleeps til 2:30 in the afternoon by which time, I've left to go to work and the children are at a minders (or in school). I get home at 6pm and he's gone to work again. Does that make more sense?

BigAunty

A couple with kids only needs to work 24 hours per week to qualify for Working Tax Credits - model this scenario, plus others such as your giving up employment in this calculator. Also, factor in child care and transport to work costs to identify savings there, too.

It's often those in rental accommodation that are better off working less hours as Housing Benefit kicks in - those with mortgages don't get that kind of subsidy or help in any similar way.

Download the MSE budget planner and work through the site, including the forums, to identify where to slash costs.

mildred1978

Post an SOA.

You've got at least £2300 a month coming in and your bills come to £1100. That's one he'll of a lot of money to go missing every month.

GlasweJen

Why are you quitting work? Why not let your husband drop down to a more reasonable number of hours?

Face1992

bridgemant wrote: »

£200 isn't a lot of money if you have to buy school uniforms for 3 children or tax 2 cars or pay for school trips or buy christmas presents for 5 people...

I know it sounds awful as I know there are pleanty of people out there who would love to have £200 a month "spare" money but to be fair, it's not money to waste, it's going on things that are necessary, they just don't fall into the category of food or bills!

As for the hours I work. Yes, I only work 25 hours but my husband works 50+ hours so we don't have any FAMILY time. If he's at home, I'm at work. He works nights, usually from 6pm til 6am and then sleeps til 2:30 in the afternoon by which time, I've left to go to work and the children are at a minders (or in school). I get home at 6pm and he's gone to work again. Does that make more sense?

Plenty of people are buying uniforms for kids. Paying for 2 cars every month will be costing a pretty packet I bet, but if both are necessary for work, then sacrifices need to be made in other areas.
One has to live with the consequences of ones choices in life.

quietheart

I'm not working and my kids are 9 and 11.
When 9 yr old goes to secondary I will work.
At the moment I am doing voluntary work in a food bank. I haven't been able to get work that doesn't involve childcare and I am currently caring for my parents whilst the kids are at school.
I find having time means we have a much cheaper lifestyle. I can shop around for anything I need, I can plan meals, I can cook meals in advance. I can send everyone off for the day with healthy meals.
Our family life is much much less stressful and everyone is benefitting.
Good luck with your decision.