none animal lover, suprise kitten.

scrabbles_2

It might not all be doom and gloom. You might learn to like the cat if you are willing for it to stick around - unbelievable as it may sound right now. But you may not. You may decide you can put up with a cat on the condition your OH takes full responsibility... you may not. You both need to bear in mind that kittens are much easier to rehome than cats so if your other half really does love cats he may have to make a decision that is painful to him but better for the cat in the long run.

My OH agreed to a cat for my sake and all was well, but that was after much discussion with me, both sets of parents (both lots had cats of their own) and with friends. And I'll whisper it, but I wouldn't want a kitten myself - and I'm a dyed-in-the-wool cat lover!

When I met my other half he HATED cats. At the time I was going back to my Mum's several times per week to visit my childhood kitty Hobbit during what turned out to be the last few months of his life. Like you, my OH wished no ill on cats, and he just accepted these visits as something we would do, but he always made it clear that ours would be a NO CAT HOUSEHOLD.

Then, he relented and adopted Mittens with me, on the understanding it was all my responsibility and he wasn't having anything to do with it. For the first few months my coos of "isn't he gorgeous" were met with a stern "he's a cat". But then the two of them started to bond... Suddenly my 6 foot 4 'manly' man started buying cat treats at every opportunity and looking for presents to bring Mittens back from holiday!

We lost Mittens a few weeks ago and I was honestly shocked at how badly OH dealt with it. I have never seen OH cry in thirteen years together, except over Mittens. And when I cautiously mentioned that I'd fallen in love with a rescue cat, he admitted he couldn't imagine life without a cat now and lets go meet it to see if we all get along. He cancelled a fishing trip this weekend because he 'wants to help the cat settle in properly'. Yesterday he spent most of the day making bad attempts at building a giant scratch post (before finally giving in and visiting multiple shops to hunt down a sturdy enough one to buy).

globetraveller

Same sort of thing happened with my neighbours. Husband brought back a dog without any discussion or even warning. Wife really didn't want a dog in the house. She kept it for a few months and then it ended up being rehomed. She had tried her best but I think she still feels guilty about it now.
It's just not fair on the kitten or on you. A pet really ties you down. You can't just have a spur of the moment couple of days away for instance. Pets rely on their "owners" and that's very hard for you if you just can't take to the kitten. You need a serious word with your bf. Why are you doing all the looking after of it by the way?

demystified

This is an interesting one. I've read similar things on another site, not about cats but dogs - where the husband/bf/partner has arrived home one day without warning with a dog - when questioned he simply replied "because I've always had dogs"

Basically she/they resented the fact that these dogs basically ruled the place, crapped everywhere were never taken for walks and basically were as much slobs as her/their husbands seemed to be - she longed for the day when the dogs would die and she'd be free of them but no-one wanted to point out the fact that as soon as that happened her husband would in all likelyhood simply go out and get another...

another person even said that she didn't want to force her husband make the choice "it's me or the dog" because she thought it was cruel and didn't want to put her husband through that - I thought that it was probably for the best because if she did the husband would probably say "the dogs staying... so when are you leaving?"

its funny the situations some people put up with, isn't it?

Welshwoofs

Have you ever actually told your boyfriend that you don't like animals? Presumably you've had discussions about them for you to know that he's always had cats - so have you ever told him that you don't want pets? If you haven't, he may have taken silence for consent...believing his girlfriend was also a cat lover and a new kitten would be completely welcomed by you.

Obviously he should have discussed getting another cat with you before getting one....but did he actually do so knowing you don't like animals?

meritaten

You dont have to 'dislike' animals to decide not to become a pet owner. There are many reasons for not having a pet. I love cats and dogs - I couldnt have a dog as I am disabled and couldnt walk it. I love cats but my OH was so distressed when my last cat died (my lovely nicky) that he cannot cope with having another. I respect that and although I would have another cat tomorrow - or today - I have to respect his feelings too.
I did suggest a ferret - but OH just cracked up laughing! and said 'NO WAY'!

samuela66

Personally I think it's hard enough work when you actually want one, I have a cat and have just bought a 6 month old shih tzu and to be honest I had a couple of days thinking what the hell have I done here:eek::eek::eek:, it's hard work and commitment all for a very long time.
I most certainly would not bring an animal into the house without discussing it with my partner for one, and then picking the pet together..............

I dont envy you in the slightest!!!