none animal lover, suprise kitten.

doofyingle

my boyfriend has always had cats, his last cat died just before he met me. Just over two weeks ago he came home with a kitten.

I know i am going to get ripped apart here but i am not an animal person at all. I would never hurt an animal, its just i dont want one and all the responsibility that comes with looking after one.

The last two weeks for me have been horrible. The kitten meows and cries constantly, he is into everything including the bin,begs for food evn after being fed, and three times now i have been scratched on my neck.

All this is cute to my boyfriend, but to be honest i dont need this, he didnt even tell me he was getting the kitten in the first place.

I am finding it such a chore cleaning up after it evey two minutes, the crying is driving me mad and i am pretty sure i will never be able to have a lie in ever again.

The kitten is very cute dont get me wrong, and i would like to make this work but i dont know where to start when everything is already annoyong me and its only been a few weeks.

I feel horrible for feeling this way, boyfriend sqys i will get used to it all

am i an horrible person or was my boyfriend wong for doing this wthout even talking about it with me first?

Valli

why would we rip you apart?

(and I am a cat owner)

He SHOULD have discussed it with you first. Especially since you are now lumbered with cleaning up after it.

How would he feel had you 'forgotten' to use contraception and become pregnant without discussing it with him?

scrabbles_2

doofyingle wrote: »

I know i am going to get ripped apart here but i am not an animal person at all. I would never hurt an animal, its just i dont want one and all the responsibility that comes with looking after one.

Nope, you're not going to be ripped apart, far from it. I applaud you. If everyone was as honest with themselves and with others, far fewer pets would be neglected or abused and the world would be a better place.

TBH I think your other half has been shockingly irresponsible. Cat ownership from kittenhood could be a commitment of twenty years or more. And yet he doesn't feel the need to discuss it? :eek:

You need to sit down and have a big, honest discussion. You need to make it clear that he's the one who is 100% in the wrong here. And I know it's none of my business, but I would be asking myself questions as well. Relationships must be based on communication, trust and mutual respect. What else will he expect you to just accept, put up with or get used to regardless of your own thoughts and feelings?

gettingready

NObody will rip you apart for being hoest on here.

Sit your b/f down and tell him how you feel -0 kitten is still young and will be easy to rehome.

But I do not understand wht HE got a kitten but YOU clean up after it?

Fire_Fox

I'm not going to rip you for not liking animals that is your prerogative, I would happily rip into your boyfriend for being an irresponsible selfish idiot. :mad: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is dismissive of your opinions and has little regard for the wellbeing of a defenceless creature?

The following is for your boyfriend to deal with because the kitten is not your responsibility ... quite honestly I'd be leaving as much of the mess as possible, putting what you cannot stand in his workbag, his shoes, his side of the bed.

If the kitten is into the bin and crying for food is it being underfed or being fed a poor quality diet? Cats are obligate carnivores - they must eat meat - so do best on a high animal protein, high fat, low carb diet. Kittens should be free fed or fed several times a day, more than you think because they are growing. Has it been deflead and wormed with a good veterinary quality product? If the kitten has parasites it may be extra hungry and very uncomfortable, they can even die. :eek:

For scratching the kitten needs their claws clipping, perhaps playing with a lot more often. Not sure what you mean by cleaning up, do you mean it is having toilet accidents? If so it needs at least two trays and properly litter training. Kittens are a lot of work they need constant stimulation when awake, so take a lot of the owner's time up. Does the kitten have a sturdy scratching post/ climbing tree and realistic solo play toys? http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/shop/

meritaten

no hun - certainly not going to rip into you. Your boyf tho is another matter!
He brings a kitten home without discussing it with you and it sounds as if the care of this kitten has been dumped in your hands! I would be fuming - and I love cats!
The care of this kitten should be sorted out now!
It isnt fair on you and it isnt fair on the kitten and you recognise that. for which you get a thanks on your OP!

G-WWBB

Have to agree with everyone, your boyfriend should have discussed this with you first and I'm actually annoyed at the fact he didn't even consider your feelings or the impact this might have on both your relationship and the little kitty.

Cats are known for being independent animals, a kitten however, is very dependent on its owner. Even a fully litter trained, healthy kitten can be a handful in their early ages. As a couple, you need to be prepared and have discussed what's to come in the months while kitty's growing up before deciding to take the plunge. Unfortunately, your boyfriend hasn't even given you a heads up you're getting one let alone discussed it with you.

Kittens can be a handful, but they are also a joy when properly cared for.

You really need to sit him down and tell him how you feel, the longer you keep quiet, the harder it'll get. It's unfair what he's done and you need to make him aware of that.

With relationships comes compromise, maybe if he agreed to take full charge of the kitten and his mess until you're comfortable with him, then maybe you could agree to giving it a go with the kitten.

If he doesn't think he's done anything wrong, or won't discuss it, then sadly, maybe he isn't the person you're meant to be with

NewKittenHelp

doofyingle wrote: »

my boyfriend has always had cats, his last cat died just before he met me. Just over two weeks ago he came home with a kitten.

I know i am going to get ripped apart here but i am not an animal person at all. I would never hurt an animal, its just i dont want one and all the responsibility that comes with looking after one.

The last two weeks for me have been horrible. The kitten meows and cries constantly, he is into everything including the bin,begs for food evn after being fed, and three times now i have been scratched on my neck.

All this is cute to my boyfriend, but to be honest i dont need this, he didnt even tell me he was getting the kitten in the first place.

I am finding it such a chore cleaning up after it evey two minutes, the crying is driving me mad and i am pretty sure i will never be able to have a lie in ever again.

The kitten is very cute dont get me wrong, and i would like to make this work but i dont know where to start when everything is already annoyong me and its only been a few weeks.

I feel horrible for feeling this way, boyfriend sqys i will get used to it all

am i an horrible person or was my boyfriend wong for doing this wthout even talking about it with me first?

Your boyfriend's an idiot, is the short answer. The long one has one more word and would probably get me banned.;) That's under the proviso that he just spring the kitten on you and you'd previously told him that you never wanted pets in the conversations when he told you about his previous cats. He's still an idiot for springing a kitten on you, but if you'd ever made noises about having one in the future then, the kitten itself isn't the issue, he is.

Just to say if the kitten is still begging for food after being fed then he needs more food. That will solve the food begging issue because a well-fed kitten will not beg for food.

And the best way to get a break from a kitten's relentless energy is to tire them out. Your boyfriend should be doing that, but if you're in with the kitten alone, then 20 minutes of leading the cat on a merry chase with a lazer pointer will do wonders. Then give him either some scrunched up newspaper or a knotted crisp packet and let him entertain himself for a while.

What are you having to clean up every two minutes? There are a lot of cat [STRIKE]owners[/STRIKE] slaves here who will be able to help you out with ways of dealing with stuff like that depending on what it is.

Mara69

Assuming you live together, yes, he has been irresponsible. If you feel that strongly you need to tell him and make it clear you're not going to clean up/run around after the cat.

NewKittenHelp

Mara69 wrote: »

Assuming you live together, yes, he has been irresponsible. If you feel that strongly you need to tell him and make it clear you're not going to clean up/run around after the cat.

Actually that's a good point - if you don't live together then you need to be quiet because it's none of your business. If my boyfriend tried to tell me that I couldn't have a cat in my house, he'd be gone before he'd finished the sentence.

Joe_P_2

I love my cats more than I love most people, but what your b/f did was wrong and irresponsible. I've kept cats (correction...they've agreed to live with me) for over 20 years and even now I won't have a kitten. :-)

If you share a house then there really needs to be 'a chat' about things. Do this now - if you decide you can't keep the cat tehn it's better all around to find the cat a new forever home quickly rather than let it get attached.

Having said that, when I first had a cat I hated the damn things.... :-) Now I adore them, despite the oldest one we have crapping in the bath....