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fairclaire

blondynurse.i tried to copy your post and failed

thank you so much for your kind words. I know I might seem a bit drama queenish. but am so worried about my partner and so distressed. I have spoken to him tonight and he is having some trauma centred CBT arranged for him. I am assuming that is good?

fairclaire

SpiralingDown wrote: »

This happened to my BIL, he'd just finished a tour in afghan where a few of his regiment had been killed. He landed in england only to be told his best mate had been killed in a car accident, he came over for the funeral and was due to go back to camp on the Friday but he missed his flight as usual. In a way it was lucky because my DH, his bro, died that night.
He disappeared shortly after the cops had told us they had to wait on the mortuary people to come and pick up DH and it would be best around for us to go to my mums. I had to phone the cop dealing with things to let them know that BIL had taken his dads car and may be a danger to himself.
They found him, crashed in the middle of a field sobbing uncontrolably and asking them just to shoot him :eek: this happened every night until the funeral, his Sargent phoned to check on him and recommended speaking to someone when he arrived back. He had months of treatment, he was confined to base a lot of the time due to his erratic behaviour, he wasn't allowed on the ranges or deal with firearms for a long time. I must admit his Sargent was great with him, keeping an eye out while maintaining a distance.
He's now a lot better but still tends to dwell on things if not kept busy. He's passed all the evaluations to be allowed to do active duty. He's got one tour of afghan to do soon and then he's leaving, i just hope it doesn't open up old wounds.

I hope things go as well as can be expected over the next few weeks and months as he and you begin this journey together just make sure you too get some support. xxx

oh I wish you knew howi can absolutely relate to that just now!

fairclaire

so emotional. have just spoken to my love on the phone. he wants to come home, I want him to come home but we both know he has to stay where he is and be fixed. I am happy in a way because he is admitting what's causing him problems and hurting him. and we will be here when he gets back.
Have to say a massive thanks for the support tonight. Amazing! Thank you all

blondynurse

fairclaire wrote: »

blondynurse.i tried to copy your post and failed



thank you so much for your kind words. I know I might seem a bit drama queenish. but am so worried about my partner and so distressed. I have spoken to him tonight and he is having some trauma centred CBT arranged for him. I am assuming that is good?

thats brilliant darling this will make him think about his thought patterns and challenge him to think differntly to try and help him cope, its really powerful stuff and is wonderful, he will need encouragement to keep this up so u can be there for him to help him with it. when i suffered with depression I have a mental image about how my husband looked when he seem me distressed it was deffo as bad for him as it was for me. However all these things we face together make us stronger Claire, and someday you will be able to comfort somebody else who goes thru something similar because thats what nice people do and right now its about getting strength from other people and we all want to help you thru this so i'm sending you huge hugs don't hestitate to get in touch and keep us updated because we care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:A

farmville

What a difference 24 hours make on this thread.

SpirallingDown, you are probably the best person to talk to Claire. So sorry to hear about your DH, what a terrible time for you too

Claire, I hope you manage to get some rest (I won't say sleep) tonight, tomorrow is another day and a step closer for you & your OH getting the best help available xx

Heading off now, night to all xx

fairclaire

blondynurse wrote: »

thats brilliant darling this will make him think about his thought patterns and challenge him to think differntly to try and help him cope, its really powerful stuff and is wonderful, he will need encouragement to keep this up so u can be there for him to help him with it. when i suffered with depression I have a mental image about how my husband looked when he seem me distressed it was deffo as bad for him as it was for me. However all these things we face together make us stronger Claire, and someday you will be able to comfort somebody else who goes thru something similar because thats what nice people do and right now its about getting strength from other people and we all want to help you thru this so i'm sending you huge hugs don't hestitate to get in touch and keep us updated because we care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:A

damn you blondynurse, you made me cry!! ina good way. Thank you love xx

Fudge_Cake_2

fairclaire wrote: »

have just been on the pho ne to them... he is ' categorised' as being so bad he can't even have a lighter. so I do feel so sorry for him. I really can't stand it!!! this is my lovely man who I love the bones of and all he did was fight for his country....and he can't even be trusted to have a fag. stinks...but we will get over it

Too right you will :Axx

SpiralingDown wrote: »

Forgot to say, it's good to see you posting again fudge cake, was starting to worry about you. I hope things start to get easier for you. Big hugs for you too

Still love this smilie, makes me feel warm and fuzzy, think it was you who first used it in a post to me when I was feeling very low and just brightened up my day just like you brighten up the thread with your posts

Awwwww I love that smiley too!!!! It does the same for me! Thank you so much :o:Axxxx That's just the sorta hug I could do with THANK YOU xxx You know I always think the same when I read your posts. The love that you give to everyone else, you are always so busy taking care of everyone, I'm always left wondering who's taking care of you :A Your friends and family are very very very lucky to have such a kind and selfless lady in their lives and it's rotten they don't appreciate it.

farmville wrote: »

Please don't apologise, you have done nothing wrong, we are all human and we have our limits, tonight needed to happen for you & your OH to get much needed help. This first step will probably be the hardest.

Keep talking on here, hopefully those feelings will ease a little xx

Fudge_cake sending you a huge hug too, the others are right you have such a way with words especially at times like this and you still find them even though you are hurting yourself :A:A x

Gorgeous post farmville :A and thank you so much :o xxx

fairclaire

Fudge_Cake wrote: »

Too right you will :Axx



Awwwww I love that smiley too!!!! It does the same for me! Thank you so much :o:Axxxx That's just the sorta hug I could do with THANK YOU xxx You know I always think the same when I read your posts. The love that you give to everyone else, you are always so busy taking care of everyone, I'm always left wondering who's taking care of you :A Your friends and family are very very very lucky to have such a kind and selfless lady in their lives and it's rotten they don't appreciate it.



Gorgeous post farmville :A and thank you so much :o xxx

fudge, you should come back. I lurked here for a long time before I posted and I enjoyed your lovely colourful posts SOOOOOO much. You are an :A:A:A

Fudge_Cake_2

fairclaire wrote: »

fudge, you should come back. I lurked here for a long time before I posted and I enjoyed your lovely colourful posts SOOOOOO much. You are an :A:A:A

:A Awww when you're having such a difficult night, you find such kind words to cheer everyone and thank them. Thank you very much Claire :A I do hope you saw my post earlier for you xx I don't mention it to gain thanks, I mention it for you to gain strength, I want you to know I'm thinking of you and will be thinking of you in the coming days :Axxx

fairclaire

Fudge_Cake wrote: »

:A Awww when you're having such a difficult night, you find such kind words to cheer everyone and thank them. Thank you very much Claire :A I do hope you saw my post earlier for you xx I don't mention it to gain thanks, I mention it for you to gain strength, I want you to know I'm thinking of you and will be thinking of you in the coming days :Axxx

I never thought you did! I thanked you for being genuinely nice and giving good advice...all of which I take on board.

you are a very nice lady! the best in my opinion. you have given me great comfort tonight when I needed some. I thank you more than you'll ever know for that.....I hope you never need the same from me, but if you do...I will e here. thank you x