Are you more well off than you say you are?

seven-day-weekend

We are now, as Pensioners, to be able to save more money than we have ever been able to before.

This is the first time I have told anyone this and even now I am not going to say how much we save.

The reason for it is, for five years, when we lived in Spain, we lived solely off one Pension that my husband took from early retirement. This was very hard, but we managed. Then I got my State Pension and we managed to live OK on these two sources of income.

This year we have had two other Pensions (his State, my Occupational) come through and because we have got used to living without these income streams, are able to save the majority of it.

We have also found that if people know you have savings, then they expect you to lend it to them. We have just had to say 'there is no more available' to a family member (which is not a lie....there IS none available for that purpose!).

So although I don't lie about my financial circumstances, I do keep my mouth shut!

(We receive no State Benefits other than our State Pensions and WFA, which all pensioners get).

joe_mcclaine

I work with a load of middle-aged Civil Servants, all mortgaged up to the eyeballs so they can have a nice postcode, credit card debts to pay for holidays abroad and flash weddings for their kids and car loans for nice cars that cost £1000 every time they go in for an MOT.

They think I'm poor because I live on a rough estate, drive a £300 motor, holiday in Skegness and don't eat poncy food or drink wine. BUT, I have paid off my mortgage, have no debts whatsoever and have about 80% of my take home pay to do whatever I want with.

I don't do anything to alter their perception though, I even walk round with a beard and tell them I can't afford to shave.

Bless 'em.

sparrer

My heritage is said to be tight with money. Simply, I have enough for my own family and nothing as far as others are concerned

TakeNoRoses

I do tell my friends how much I have sometimes, but as they know what I'm saving for they don't ask me for money. Money doesn't come up in conversation much in any case, but none of my friends are that bothered by what I do/don't have.

I have good friends.

faifai

No, I think I will get poorer and poorer. And this is confirmed by what each generation before me can get with their earnings.

lisa110rry

I have a slightly 'backward' approach to saving I think. I am paid on a certain day each month and the following day I transfer whatever was left into my savings. I have a monthly sum I aim for and am delighted if I have more to transfer, if I have less, I try to make it up the following month.

I don't like discussing finances because I was taught that to do so is rude, as is conspicuous consumption. However, when my husband retired, I did a cost heading budget for him. He said 'you could make a living doing this'. I replied 'I do make a living doing this on major construction projects', lol.

I understand the jealousy thing. When I bought a 'summer car' a couple of years ago (1999 slk which cost just under £3k), some extended family members were horrified that I now had two cars. The other one, a 4x4 for winter, is a 2002 model, hardly profligate!

Cream_Tea

I think money is a difficult topic. I told our closest friends (a couple) that my husband and I over pay our mortgage by only £50 a month (true at the time) and my friends husband didn't drop it for months. He would make comments like if you didn't waste the money on OPing you would be able to afford designer sunglasses like me and many other comments like it, my husband was annoyed with me because he thinks money shouldn't be discussed outside the home and after that reaction from a really good friend I tend to agree now!

I now never discuss specifics and only talk money with parents, husband and a friend who is like minded. I just quietly squirrel money away and build up all the accounts nicely. It seems some people put emphasis on designer but don't own a home and others are different and it rubs people up the wrong way to know you are planning for the future.

Teacher2

I have only just found this thread and have found it fascinating to see how many people who have savings have had a jealous & resentful attitude from others about their cash and also how, once others know there is a 'pot', they try to borrow it! As an ex English teacher I'd have to agree with Polonius in 'Hamlet',

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."

Never a truer word! Polonius is saying that lending causes resentments between friends (which it does) and that borrowing prevents a person from budgeting properly, again, true.

For myself, I save constantly. I couldn't when my children were smaller as we needed every penny. However, as soon as I could I (and my OH as we do everything jointly) I put cash away for a rainy day. I reckon that others suspect this as less prudent friends and relatives make comments about 'rich' people.

Sox77

I prefer not to tell friends what I have/do not have - although it depends on the friend I have friends who have the same attitude as me and try and save what they can and buy second hand etc but then I have one friend who complains about people shopping in charity shops when they can clearly afford not to,! She will not put her finished with clothes in them because of that either. I have not been able to bring myself to tell her that I could afford not to shop in charity shops but still do

Sox77

Teacher2 wrote: »

I have only just found this thread and have found it fascinating to see how many people who have savings have had a jealous & resentful attitude from others about their cash and ....have to agree with Polonius in 'Hamlet',

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."

Oh and exactly this, I would hate someone to ask us to lend them money, I would oblige if they were a close friend but I do feel it might sour our friendship. We leant £1k to a close friend a few years ago - for a month or so and it took two years to get it back and it was a bit awkward. I'm glad to say we are still friends but there were times I felt a bit resentful


I also try not to borrow, a friend recently tried to lend our her car because we were a bit stuck, she very kindly said we could borrow it long term. I pointed out the state of our car, explained how many times I'd reversed into bollards and that I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship. She still wanted to lend it to me! My husband had to firmly politely decline in the end