40 months until debt free... musings and meanderings along the way.

laura2481

rosered1963 wrote: »

Hi Laura.

Your pay has gone in, you got the loan from family and OH knows the extent of the debt. These must all be a great relief.

Devil's advocate for a minute here - Put yourself in OH's shoes - imagine that he told you that he had run up a big debt without telling you. How would you be feeling? He is bound to be harbouring anger - that's what all this bickering is about Laura. It took me MONTHS to forgive my OH for running up a £1000 debt without telling me. I told him if he ever did that again, I would divorce him because it's not just the money, but the fact he did not tell me (I found out), and that he felt he could not tell me when the debt was only £100! I am still unhappy because I can't trust him now financially - he must change -what's to stop him getting another debt? I have to just trust and hope that he won't.

So what I am saying is this: You love your man and he loves you - it will take a while to get back on track together. He didn't mean to hurt your hand, he was trying to cool the burn with cold water, which is the right thing to do, and it just went a bit wrong. If it were me, I would just be sanguine and bite your tongue. I know it's hard, but your financial issues are now well under control, and your OH just needs to know and trust that no more debt will be run up that he doesn't know about.

End of devil's advocate xxx

Love RR

Thanks RR
I do know all this.. just not having a good time waiting for the dust to settle

And I know he didn't mean to hurt my hand- it was the swearing at me and walking away that annoyed me :cool:

Anyways- went shopping today for something to wear to a wedding a week on saturday. I genuinely had nothing to wear as have put on a fair amount of weight since got married. (Have lost a bit since but not enough to fit any dresses or 'dressy' stuff I have) I went looking for something to wear with some shoes I already have that I know will be comfortable all day and had a budget of £40 (budgeted for!!) Came away with 2 dresses- both quite similar: navy blue with butterflies on it. One £40, and one £15 in the sale. Asked OH which one he preffered without knowing the prices and he preferred the £15 dress. So the £40 dress is going back and there is now £25 or less to find a little handbag to take with me.. as I have only big handbags. Or maybe I'll ask my mum if she's got one I can borrow before I buy one.

Over and out for tonight!

xx

robsmum_2

Hi Laura and Old friends.
Thank you for posting on my diary, will subscribe to yours also. It seems we're all suffering with the financial blues. I certainly felt better for re-starting my diary. It seems little things like that help us to feel in control again and they all mount up.

Try the charity shops for bags/ clothes. I had a grand spend of £20 in the charity shop when we were at my brothers and manged to get new Next jeans, new M+S linen top, almost new NewLook top, almost new Selfridges top and a Jane Shelton bag!

Suggestion about presents either discuss with OH ideas and budget for presents and then you have an imput or you make someone a little something - your soaps were beautiful. People really appreciate a gift specially made for them rather than you having to spend extra cash on an appropriate gift.
Hope September improves.

rosered1963

Agree with Robsmum about Laura's soaps - just lovely.

PS Laura - £15 for a dress is an amazing bargain.
PPS My husband swears at me sometimes and I swear back. We never used to do this. Unfortunately, I think money issues can do that

laura2481

robsmum wrote: »

Hi Laura and Old friends.
Thank you for posting on my diary, will subscribe to yours also. It seems we're all suffering with the financial blues. I certainly felt better for re-starting my diary. It seems little things like that help us to feel in control again and they all mount up.

Try the charity shops for bags/ clothes. I had a grand spend of £20 in the charity shop when we were at my brothers and manged to get new Next jeans, new M+S linen top, almost new NewLook top, Youalmost new Selfridges top and a Jane Shelton bag!

Suggestion about presents either discuss with OH ideas and budget for presents and then you have an imput or you make someone a little something - your soaps were beautiful. People really appreciate a gift specially made for them rather than you having to spend extra cash on an appropriate gift.
Hope September improves.

Hi RM

I am currently working on a couple of ' projects' one is a cross stitch birth sampler for our friend that had a baby (remember a couple of years ago on the Blondie thread I told you guys about our close friend that lost twins? Well she just had a baby boy and they are so happy! As is everyone :-) ) That should be ready for christmas- it was a slightly bigger job than expected!

And a birthday present for OHs mum which will consist of a necklace/earring/bracelet jewellery set, soap, candle and a beaded bookmark- all handmade using as many things I already have in. Pictures will follow no doubt.

laura2481

rosered1963 wrote: »

Agree with Robsmum about Laura's soaps - just lovely.

PS Laura - £15 for a dress is an amazing bargain.
PPS My husband swears at me sometimes and I swear back. We never used to do this. Unfortunately, I think money issues can do that

We swear at each other all the time! lol I think I was just more upset as I was already hurting from scalding my hands and it just felt a but harsh. Especially as was feeling down already. I'll get over it

laura2481

Just found this and I thought I'd share it- the vile little man that Angela Rippon is interviewing is one of our customers. I seriously disliked the !!!!!! anyways but now I know what pie he has his grubby little hands in.. I have no word for the depths of my loathing. I have enjoyed watching how uncomfortable he is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NciP8cHmGUo

laura2481

Just made payment to HSBC card. Santander to be cleared tomorrow. Will send a cheque to Tesco and pay off Virgin in next couple of days and then on Monday- Barclay card loan!

• [STRIKE]HSBC paid[/STRIKE] Done!
• HSBC cancelled
• Santander paid
• Santander cancelled
• Tesco Paid
• Tesco cancelled
• Virgin paid
• Virgin cancelled
• Barclays loan paid

laura2481

• [strike]HSBC paid[/strike] Done!
• HSBC cancelled
• [STRIKE] Santander paid[/STRIKE] Done!
• Santander cancelled
• Tesco Paid
• Tesco cancelled
• [strike]Virgin paid[/strike] Done!
• Virgin cancelled
• Barclays loan paid

laura2481

Making headway! Three cards paid, one to go and then cancel them all when zero balance statements received! Going into town monday to pay loan off and then we are all set to start paying in-laws back in October

elly68

hi laura,my oh has never bought a present for any of our two families since we married .maybe good he picked as he will know what his brother likes and as long as your name is on the card really id leave it to him .
we are 20 years in however we dont do the seperate account thing either .i dont know how this happened but over the years both our incomes have fluctuated as to who earns more .its a whats urs is mine and whats mine is mine as well lol,we both have access to cc/bank accounts and our debt is joint as well .a marriage in my opinion is joint and that includes income ,you read it loads on these boards that the bills are done almost as a flat share even if the income is not equal .this also seems to build a lot of friction in relationships and debt on one side of the relationship when there was money there.once you get things cleared i suggest all the money goes in one pot to pay the bills and you each take equal spending money for the month.
hope this helps,ps you will be so mse by then that you will be able to save it all and surprise other half with a non credit card paid weekend away .your debt free future isnt far away