Is this dodgy?

EpsomOldie

I think it's well-dodgy too. 'Grooming' isn't limited to those whose aim is to exploit youngsters. Oldies can be just as vulnerable.

Someone I know found that her old dad who had dementia had a new friend. She only found out when she was checking his bank statements (she had POA) and found that he'd bought a huge plasma telly (her dad was blind). It turned out he’d bought it as a gift for this 'friend'. The friend (I typed fiend by mistake but hey - if the cap fits!) had also bought loads of !!!!!! using her dad's money.

She spoke to the police telling them of her concerns and asking them to say if they thought she was over-reacting. They said definitely not and brought charges. Her dad died before the case went to court. She then found the friend had a key to her dad's house and refused to give it back. Again the police had to be involved.

One of the interesting things that was uncovered as a result of this was the friend's adult daughter who had severe learning difficulties turned out not to be his daughter at all. She was another vulnerable person he'd latched onto and was exploiting.

The OP’s FIL is vulnerable not just because he’s an oldie but because he’s recently been bereaved. I agree that the OP or her FIL's other family should try to find out the identities of these people, and I also think it's worth mentioning your concerns to the police. They might already be known to the police, and if not, at least the police will have a note of them if they try it on with others.

Violetta_2

Would it be worth speaking to someone in the benefits centre & warning them about the couple, it does sound dodgy tbh & whilst I usually try & look on the posistive side of people I've learned this week that some are just scum. Not saying that this couple are but think you are right to be suspicious.

mirry

seen it all before in my job , people after elderly peoples money. Get rid of them !

kingfisherblue

Definitely dodgy. Good advice has already been and I've not much to add, but I hope you sort it out satisfactorily OP.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Might sound a little Law of the Jungle, but I think you need to be seen with him - and making it very clear to this couple that whilst their offer of assistance is very kind, they will, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, be assisting your relative with anything at all, as your relative has a large and very supportive/protective family that will be helping him, and they would not tolerate Anything Ever happening to him.



Best said in a low growl and with an underlying tone of extreme violence if they cross your path ever again.


Predators slink away when met with a bigger opponent. Look at a lioness when the little bison's Mum turns to look at her.

halight

Seanymph wrote: »

Dodgy as heck.

I agree,:(:(

cookie54

it might also be worth contacting social services to advise as other people say these type of people often have more than one 'FRIEND'. Also advise both the club and there sheltered housing in writing of your concerns and keep a diary of events .
As suggested it might be worth limiting cash money in your dads wallet and making sure he has a plentyful supply of food, stamps and medicatin etc and a list of people in place to do things so he has no reason to need there help!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Errata

ankspon wrote: »

He thinks they are overpowering but he is too shy to say anything

In that case tell 'em to eff off! Or else!!! They're Yorkshire, they'll know exactly what you mean.

Lexxi

Some councils have systems whereby 'warnings' flash up regarding residents, such as dementia or disabilities, I wonder if the benefits have something similar?
Could you discuss with FIL different responses so you both find one that he is comfortable with if he doesn't want to be blunt? Something like 'all sorted, family have POA'

Do be wary, far better than blase and find out you've left him open to anything. I remember reading something about fraud cases aren't all about clearing a bank account out, sometimes they just take £20 a week, if they have just 10 people to do that to that is a nice bonus.

Finally, they may be the most genuine people you will ever meet and deserve a sainthood, they may have loads of experience of benefits and know how to get the most for him, but they are making you and FIL uncomfortable and that's all that matters

ankspon

Great advice by all,thank you very much and i will keep you updated.