Apparently lost DLA appeal - help?

System

zoominatorone wrote: »

• The only support I would give is to say make sure the extra money she gets every week does not get used on drink.
• Stop enabling the mother to be an alcoholic by going out to buy the drink for her

• Think long and hard about tough love. I take it nobody is pouring the drink down the mother's throat. Therefore, she is making a choice to drink it. Taxpayers shouldn't have to be paying for that choice.

Oh and Pollycat, feel free to put me on ignore if you don't like the fact I have first hand experience of a drunken parent and the havoc it wreaks on others lives.

She can't just *stop* drinking though, that can actually KILL people with alcoholism. If she was to come off it, she would need to do it under medical supervision and taper off it. What she most likely will expereince is Delirium. Alcohol-induced hallucinations. Patient generally cannot distinguish hallucination from reality. Profuse sweating. Seizures. Severe blood pressure spikes. Sever tremor. Racing and irregular heartbeat. Fever, and Possible death. So will need medical help, not just being stopped from drinking.

zoominatorone

August September October November December

5 months in which she could have made the first efforts to stop the dependency on the alcohol. Now she just gets more money to buy it.:mad:

zoominatorone

davsidipp wrote: »

that goes for a lot of illnesses,but in the meantime we have a duty to care for people,who cannot help themselves,just withdrawing their benefits won't stop them drinking.as for so called people going to work,to pay for said illneses,get down of your high horse,people in work claim benefits,not just those who cannot work.

I seriously doubt the welfare system was set up to allow people to sit at home and drink themselves to death using money from the poeple who have gone to work's taxes.

davsidipp

zoominatorone wrote: »

I seriously doubt the welfare system was set up to allow people to sit at home and drink themselves to death using money from the poeple who have gone to work's taxes.

dont be so judemental,the woman is ILL,she does not drink because she wants to ,she cannot stop,yes help might be out there for her,but in the meantime she deserves the benefit,she is entitled to.the welfare system is there to help the ILL,and that is what she is.dla is a benefit which you can receive in work,as well as out .

zoominatorone

davsidipp wrote: »

dont be so judemental,the woman is ILL,she does not drink because she wants to ,she cannot stop,yes help might be out there for her,but in the meantime she deserves the benefit,she is entitled to.the welfare system is there to help the ILL,and that is what she is.dla is a benefit which you can receive in work,as well as out .

You are missing the point entirely.

davsidipp

zoominatorone wrote: »

You are missing the point entirely.

so what is your point?you think she's undeserving,as she drinks and does not stop,tax payers pay her benefits,well its the government that makes the rules if she's desrving or not,not you,can you not see the bigger picture,that this lady is really ill,yes drinking alcohol,got her this way,but if we go down that route,lots of illnesses,come about by lifestyle choices.

zoominatorone

davsidipp wrote: »

so what is your point?you think she's undeserving,as she drinks and does not stop,tax payers pay her benefits,well its the government that makes the rules if she's desrving or not,not you,can you not see the bigger picture,that this lady is really ill,yes drinking alcohol,got her this way,but if we go down that route,lots of illnesses,come about by lifestyle choices.

Like you just said, lifestyle choice. And now more money for drink. Beveridge would be spinning in his grave and what the welfare system has turned into:mad:

davsidipp

zoominatorone wrote: »

Like you just said, lifestyle choice. And now more money for drink. Beveridge would be spinning in his grave and what the welfare system has turned into:mad:

the welfare system,is also used by people in work,do you judge their way of living?dont hear you winge about those.the welfare system is nothing like it was,when first started,we have advanced.by all accounts the lady has other things wrong with her,so is still deserving of her benefit,whatever way you judge her.

kazzah60

a lot of comments about how the daughter can "stop" the mother from drinking and "stop enabling" the drinking

have NONE of those posters considered that the OP may be subjected to violence from the mother if she fails to supply the "drug"?

My advice to those posters would be to keep their nose out - they are not living the OP's life, nor dealing with the MANY and COMPLEX issues the mother has - as well as her alcoholism and until they are they have no place in adding vitriolic comments

zoominatorone

kazzah60 wrote: »

a lot of comments about how the daughter can "stop" the mother from drinking and "stop enabling" the drinking

have NONE of those posters considered that the OP may be subjected to violence from the mother if she fails to supply the "drug"?

My advice to those posters would be to keep their nose out - they are not living the OP's life, nor dealing with the MANY and COMPLEX issues the mother has - as well as her alcoholism and until they are they have no place in adding vitriolic comments

The OP stated the mother can only hobble a few steps at a time and spends the vast majority of her time in the bedroom. So if she is violent and kicks off like a child because she can't have her alcohol, then OP could just stay downstairs.

We might well not be living the OPs life, but I for one had many a year of torture with a drunkard as a parent--so don't be preaching to me about me not knowing what it's like.