Real-life MMD: Am I baking up the wrong tree?

Stuffashion

You could suggest taking it in turns to bring cake in, then others would start to realise how much it costs.

Sign up to BakingMad.com, they let you know when ingredients are cheaper in the supermarkets. You could also make a cheaper option e.g. a cheesecake can be quite cheap to make if you get the fillings when they're on sale. You can freeze cakes for about a month, so you could make them in advance if you get the ingredients cheaper.

minicooper272

It's tricky, as I know the next person with a birthday will probably feel a little bit dejected when there's no cake to be had, so I would casually mention to a gossipy friend that you've decided to stop because it's getting too frequent, and too expensive.

In my office, the birthday boy/girl bring in cakes to share (it's a big office, and there must be at least 1 birthday a week in my team alone) I bake my own, and a few others do too. The rules are, if you take other's birthday cakes, you need to bring in for your own birthday, so at the very least, I hope other people treat you when it's your birthday? If not, then I'd definitely stop without another thought!

menshevik

AnneMary is right and has suggested a sensitive way of moving things on. My experience is that it's very normal for the birthday person to bring in the cakes & pies but the advantage of having a recognised 'provider' is that it helps stops issues arising such as disorganised individuals showing themselves up on their own birthday. Not to mention those who like to use these situations as a sort of beauty contest, or those who simply can't afford it.

Ebenezer_Screwj

There is another option - don't bake any more cakes for anyone. If you are asked where the free cakes are, just say that you can't afford to do it any more.

inthegreen

I love baking and the team I work in love cakes but I was starting to feel they were taking me for granted, especially when I had baked 2 different types of cakes and I got asked by 2 people if I had a third as they didn’t like the 2 I had bought in. I even kept a spreadsheet with all the cakes I had made and feedback so I knew if it was safe to make the same cake again (lemon drizzle always a winner, no-one touched the cappuccino cake) I stopped making them without warning and now only make them occasionally and never for a planned meeting or birthday and they appreciate them a lot more. I also encourage my colleagues to have a go at baking and we sometimes bake jointly and sell for charity.

People don’t mean to but they et accustomed to having things done for them. Why not cost up a few popular cakes and show people a list or charge other teams 30p or something small for a slice?

joehoover

I am quite sure no one is going to be put out if you don't make a cake. It's no big deal, it's nice to do it and people appreciate it but if one person felt put out that you didn't then who cares about people like that anyway.

Maybe you are just thinking they will take it badly, surely they don't like you just for your cakes so don't worry about it.

Maybe for the next one just say, oh by the way too busy to make a cake, should we chip and and get one from the supermarket? And leave it at that, it's not your job to cater for birthdays.

If you like baking just do it when you want and not for an occasion, bring something in for no occasion then it is a suprise for people and non expectant and can be done to suit you rather than others.

We did a card for everyone's birtthday and it was down to me to buy it and then get everyone to sign it, which was daft as it is 10 people in my company and we have all been here 15 years, it got annoying going out and picking a 'funny' card that is not too offensive and then sneak around a small company with it in a file trying to get it signed without them knowing, only for them to read it then chuck it in the bin at the end of the day. I just emailed round one day and said we're not doing cards anymore, we all work in close proximity and we have all been here so long, I'll email everyone else reminders of that persons birthday then everyone can just wish them a happy birthday when they get in that day.

Sometimes you just need to cut out all the office politic nonsense.

keyholekate

I suggest that you are honest with them and say that you are going to stop as it is becoming too expensive and a job and not a labout of love.

Talent

Stop doing it. Simples. Say you can't afford it. Don't even make one if they offer the ingredients. You should just do it for your own birthday. Mind you, I stopped eating home baked stuff a long time ago after seeing the state of some colleagues kitchens!

Augustus_the_Strong

Just stop doing it - say 'I can't afford to do it any more, I'm afraid', and see if anyone offers to contribute. You may feel you're letting the team down, and it is important to keep up morale, but it sounds like it's gone a bit far. It's nice to be generous, but you are being treated as a mug.

In our office everyone buys/makes their own birthday cake, and once a year we do a 'cakeathon' for Children In Need, where people bring in home-made cakes - we made £900 last year.

kitcat80

It may be worth really thinking about why you don't want to do it any more: is it a (probably justified) feeling of lack of appreciation, a cost thing or a bit of both?

Whilst asking for a contribution might be an option if it's simply a financial issue, there's a risk that if you ask for a contribution either people will decline to take part or that those who do take part will see it as (more of) an obligation on your part and you may also feel as such.

It seems like most other people, I work in an office where the birthday boy or girl normally brings in cakes. But some don't - that's their choice. Personally I would suggest as others have done - perhaps bake a cake out of the blue and say that you're not planning to do any more for birthdays but you might do so from time to time and that it'd be nice if others did too. Your colleagues won't take long to adjust and you might get to eat something that they've made in the future!