Advice req

Muscle750

Our 20 year old daughter has basically to cut a long story short left uni and returned home pregnant, she has a steady boyfriend who is unemployed and is our opinion needing a size 10 boot up his backside as he doesnt seem to be even attempting to find employment they asked if they could live with us for a short while as they were living with his parents whom weve never met and from what ive heard dont really want to as it seems they have a reputation from where they live around 20 miles away anyway the boyfriend while he seems a nice enough lad and hasnt been in any trouble or anything he just isnt motivated at all all they do or rather he does is get up at 10.30 am and sit on his xbox all day ive tried to tell him but all you get is the daughter gobbing off. Saying that hes looking at we dont know etc.
Anyway im asking from advice how how they stand on housing etc basically they are telling me that they are on the list from the area where he lives and as soon as she is 25 weeks they can start looking in the private sector and they will be able to look up to £525 a month paid for obviously by the HB, firstly is this the case ? How do they come off on council tax as well and any insurance i presume the buildings will be insured by the landlord althou the contents wont be, plus they will obviously have to find gas electric etc. How will their "income" now be affected by HB been paid up to reportedly £525 a month?
Obviously as well they will have to find furniture and food etc.
We cant go on in this situation as our son whose older is also getting pretty peed off with them been here and im beginning to regret saying he could (the BF) stay here as well, but ive not been well lately and ended up in hospital in critical care and am now at home off work recovering and the last thing i need is WW3 breaking out.
Ive tried to make our daughter see and she is the one thats switched on the most or at least i thought she was that she really has got to wake up and smell the coffee with the BF and look to the future because if he carries on like this they wont have much of a life, She does tell him that he has to get off his backside as well but it just dont sink in, As ive told them both theres three now in their relationship one cant speak and will need their care and attention but all he wants to do is switch off and sit on his x box personally i think she would be better off without him and shes made the biggest mistake of her life keeping the baby she was doin really well at uni and i think he made her leave, as it seems she ended up pregnant after she told us she was taking a year out .
She didnt end up pregnant delibertly thou as she had the implant and it didnt work and that i know to be true.
What really hurt my wife the other day was we asked them what was happening when she was 25 weeks and you get a different story everytime , the daughter turned round and said "Soon as we are outta here"
After weve given them a roof over their head a cooked meal everyday use of the facilties. End of the day i wouldnt see her on the streets but im getting fed up of feeding him who the only time he gets his backside off the sofa during the day from the minuite he crawls out his pit to the minuite he goes to bed is to go to the toilet and get his tea.
The situation is causing massive tension in this house she is going for a scan tomorrow and she will be 25 weeks in two weeks time .
Our other daughter who is married is having hers within the next few weeks shes married got their own house and have provided everything themselves. I will admit thou when her husband was first on the scene i thought he was a complete toss@ yet he has really grown up and sorted himself out since he left home

marybelle01

Speaking personally I would drop a brick on the X box and apply that size 10 boot up his backside in a doorwards direction. I know you love your daughter, but you have yourselves to think about. She is an adult and the decisons that she has made are her responsibility - why should she and her layabout boyfriend depend on you to pay all the bills, provide all the food and even do all the cooking (and cleaning I would bet!). You aren't parents, you are servants who pay for the privilege!

I appreciate that few prospective partners, as you have yourself observed, come up to parental standards, at least on first inspection! But as your other daughters situation has shown, growing up is part of the process, and there's nothing like impending responsibility to sort out the men from the boys. This "boy" is showing no such sense - he is sponging off you until such time as he can sponge off the state. And you are not helping your daughter if you allow her to believe that this is right or her entitlement.

I don't envy you this situation at all, but I would personally show him the door, and the decision she makes on that basis has to be hers as an adult. You can make it clear that she always has your love and support, and the door is always open to her - but you are not a charity for the !!!!less. She's made something of a mess, yes, but there are ways and means of recovering from making a mess, even one this big. But she is just as responsible for that as he is, and if he isn't going to be making any effort to do anything with himself except use the baby as a passport to benefits and housing, then she has some decisions to make about how she feels about that. I suspect in the long run it's going to end in tears. I bet you do too. All you can do is make sure that when it does you are there for her and she knows that will be the case. But otherwise she is very definitely in the real world now and she must make her way in it - not expect you to bail her out at her convenience (and his!).

princessdon

Why can't she work?

Being pregnant doesn't really stop you working, she could be working and saving.

Sorry but I beleive it takes 2 to make a child and both need to take responsbility. If she was at work, he'd not want to stay in your home without her.

Is she going to return to work when the baby is born - what are her plans, because the way I read it now is she is wanting to remain on benefits.

BigAunty

Muscle750 wrote: »

...
Anyway im asking from advice how how they stand on housing etc basically they are telling me that they are on the list from the area where he lives and as soon as she is 25 weeks they can start looking in the private sector and they will be able to look up to £525 a month paid for obviously by the HB, firstly is this the case ?

What 'list' are they on? Is this a waiting list for social housing or something?

They currently qualify for a 1 bedroom rate of Local Housing Allowance now and will not qualify for the 2 bedroom rate of LHA until she's actually had the baby - I've never heard of this 25 week threshold.

You can identify the LHA rates for a 1 and 2 bed place on the Direct Gov or local council website.

Many councils operate a rent deposit guarantee scheme and I believe there is some kind of DWP loan that can help with the first month's rent (can another poster confirm this and what this is called?).

There's actually nothing to stop them from applying for a 1 bed property now and letting the baby sleep with them, or in the living room, for the first couple of years.

Or applying for a 2 bed property now and paying the rent that is over the LHA rate from their existing benefits if they can afford this, until the baby is born and their LHA rate increases.

Many landlords will not accept housing benefit (LHA claimants) - is this the case in your area? Those that do often seek a guarantor, someone to pay the rent if they default.

Most of your post isn't a benefit problem but a relationship problem, between your daughter and her lazy partner, and between you and them as they are exploiting you.

BigAunty

Muscle750 wrote: »

.. How do they come off on council tax as well and any insurance i presume the buildings will be insured by the landlord althou the contents wont be, plus they will obviously have to find gas electric etc. How will their "income" now be affected by HB been paid up to reportedly £525 a month?
Obviously as well they will have to find furniture and food etc.
..

All of this that you are fretting about after your release from hospital is their problem to identify and resolve - they have oodles of time in which to look ahead to bills, organising a move and so forth.

Benefit claimants qualify for significant or full council tax discount. This is something they can look up on the local council website for his area. In England from next year, local councils will set their own criteria for who gets a council discount, there will be no national rules, and some will no longer offer full CT discount to all benefit claimants. However, this is not your problem or something that you should worry about.

Contents insurance will be their responsibility, not the landlords, though obviously this isn't half as much fun as playing computer games. This may be a struggle for them to pay for on their benefits if they are not used to budgeting.

They can identify their benefit entitlement, pre and post baby, on the Turn2us online benefit calculator. This is where they get their income for food and energy. They will get a joint JSA claim, I think, until the baby is born, then they will qualify for child tax credits and child benefit. These are paid on top of housing benefit (LHA).

Most private properties are furnished anyhow. For furniture and household items, and baby goods, they can get donated goods from local websites like Freegle, Freecycle, Gumtree freebies where the public gives away their items to save them from going into a landfill. Also, there are furniture charity shops with cheap goods and furniture charities that help those on benefits furnish their new places for free. Again, this is something that your daughter and her partner have plenty of time to look into, not something for you to fret about.

This 25 week rule - is this a social housing rule whereby they will be considered for a 2 bed place if there is a pregnancy? Because there's no such thing in the private sector - have they been stringing you along so you don't ask them to leave until they are ready?

Q. If a woman is pregnant, does this increase the LHA size criteria?
A. No. This would only potentially increase at the point the newborn baby becomes an occupant of the property.

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/local-authority-staff/housing-benefit/claims-processing/local-housing-allowance/faqs/

BigAunty

Btw, your daughter and partner have the status and tenure of guests in your property. They have no security of tenure. Therefore you are well within your rights to ask her partner to leave and follow it up with enforcement from the Police if he does not.

Look at the social housing allocation policy on the website of his council and what they say about LHA to identify where they have got this notion that they have to sit tight with you for 6 months before qualifying for housing benefit.

I had a look at some of the social housing allocation policies in my local area - again, they don't count pregnancy as a reason for a second room, a couple with a pregnancy just get 1 bedroom, though housing association policies will vary so it's up to you to ask your daughter where she has been informed that she doesn't qualify for HB now.

As a couple, they have always qualified for the 1 bedroom rate of housing benefit in the private sector. Until the baby is born, they will not qualify for a 2 bedroom rate. Perhaps you should print off the info from his local council website and tell them that they can move out NOW.

Dunroamin

I have a feeling that I already know the answer to this but I do hope that they're giving you money from their joint JSA claim to pay for their keep?

midnight_express

I'd chuck him out and hopefully she'll go with him. I wouldn't worry about their benefits. They'll be rolling in benefits once the little money maker is born. From what you've said they sound like a right pair of scroungers.

skintandscared_2

I think I'd be liberating the XBox at 3am and renting it back to him ... £10 per day at least

princessdon

I think I'd be rollicking them BOTH!

bestpud

Do you know for sure how many weeks pregnant she is?

I ask as I thought it unusual to have a scan at around 25 weeks...?

As far as I am aware, most would have a dating scan and one at 18 weeks...

I can't help thinking they are having a laugh at your expense. You need to use the links to inform yourself so you will know when they are telling porkies!

If they aren't already, start taking keep off them.

Then give them 4 weeks notice and stick to it!