Flying solo

Mara_uk7

Hello Robin, Ive just spent 4 hours reading right thru your diary. DH thinks Im nuts, Ive laughed, Ive cried and Ive been totally engrossed. Arent I nosey ! lol Just wanted to say Hola and wish you all good things for 2013.
Your writing style is beautiful, and I think you should seriously think about writing a lifestyle/travel type book about your experiences in Spain. I for one would certainly buy a copy !

HeadAboveWater

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Your writing style is beautiful, and I think you should seriously think about writing a lifestyle/travel type book about your experiences

That's what I keep telling her!!!!

*Robin*

Hello Diary, dear MSE Friends, and welcome Mara, :hello:

Thank you, all of you for your kind thoughts and comments. You've no idea how much I need all you MSEers at the moment..
Not sure whether I poisoned m'self with the bleach, or picked up yet another bug, or am just feeling a reprise of grief for PC brought on by the passing of a darling young girl who had so much to live for..
Whatever the cause, it's rather hard being Robin at the moment.

I can't help feeling that my work is nearly done; all the children are grown and launched into their own adult lives with partners, careers and homes. PC and I were waiting almost eagerly for this time, when we'd be 'free' to enjoy retirement and pursue our own projects, travel further afield and learn as much as we could on the way.

Now, amidst the wreck of those plans, I need to find a new path. Can't see it yet. Meanwhile it feels like I'm just marking time now, waiting for the Old Dogs to reach the end of their days, indulging in displacement activity in the garden - avoiding the paperwork I still can't seem to get my head around, despite being horribly aware that the deadline for HMRC is fast approaching. :eek:

PC really enjoyed chivvying all the figures into line; checking receipts, working out 'allowable expenses' and putting them in the correct place on the right form. I just see a jumbled heap of paper.. Still don't have a free table large enough to lay everything out in sensible piles -

Right. That's where I've got to start, isn't it?

But not now. Two days ago the Old 'Uns ran out of the dog-specific pills (ie. the ones I can't get from the local pharmacy). So far they've been ok, but the levels of the drug still in their bodies must be dropping fast now - so Young Dogs and I must go and fetch more, even though I feel far from well myself.

Will try and come back here later to reply to the lovely comments left for me, and visit some of your diaries, but if I don't go out now the vet and the shops will be closed (everything shuts down for siesta at 2pm). :cool:

HeadAboveWater

*Robin* wrote: »

I can't help feeling that my work is nearly done; all the children are grown and launched into their own adult lives with partners, careers and homes. PC and I were waiting almost eagerly for this time, when we'd be 'free' to enjoy retirement and pursue our own projects, travel further afield and learn as much as we could on the way.

Now, amidst the wreck of those plans, I need to find a new path. Can't see it yet.

That can sound rather daunting, but in a way the sky is the limit!

dorothy52

Oh love, I feel for you, I really do. Just a quickie from work to let you know that I am thinking about you. I will post later, after work as I feel that you really need us just now.

Hang on in there Girl, you can do it.

Love

Dot
xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

Robin, you have tackled everything thrown at you thus far and dealt with it marvellously, so I don't doubt you will see yourself through this rough patch and find a fantastic new path ahead. However, it's perfectly understandable that you feel down, particularly in the wake of devasting news and we are all here for you.

Perhaps baby steps are easiest right now. Source a table for example? Xx

dorothy52

Here I am again, Robin. Our friend Lucky is so right, you know, you have achieved so much and you really should be proud of yourself. I know what you mean when you say that PC would have relished the jobs you can't bring yourself to do, I am the worlds's worst procrastinator when it comes to admin type stuff - give me something creative and I am off like a shot. OH on the other hand is so analytical (but I know which I would rather be lol) Having said that, I know when I finally force myself to do a task that I have been putting off for ages the sense of relief I feel is immense, so once again, here is a gentle push.

Is there anyone you trust who can help you with this seemingly insurmountable task?

My heart aches for you when I hear of you grieving for your PC and young friend. I have no experience to draw on of losing a close loved one (apart from elderly parents who were good and ready when the time came) however I have found myself in a position several times in the past when my life has changed direction, and whilst I floundered for a while, I did indeed find a new path, and so too will you my friend. Of that I have no doubt.

Take care and post when you can, we are all here for you.

xx

*Robin*

Hello Diary and dear, dear MSE Friends, :smileyhea

After a viciously stormy night today is a meteorologist's dream; we have big black threatening clouds, little fluffy white ones, horsetails and the interesting kind that look like alien space-ships - all travelling in different directions at varying altitudes below a bright blue sky.. So the 'plane pilots will be earning their wages this morning as they negotiate the winds on their way to and from the airport - passengers are in for a bumpy ride.
At ground level the air is quite still; zillions of pink almond petals carpet the ground, having been torn from the trees overnight, though there are still plenty of flowers left which are attracting the denizens of Neighbour's thirty hives - I predict a bumper harvest of nuts this year [despite the storms].

Closer to home the patio roof has suffered; it's integrity has finally been lost, as evidenced by the fact that half the patio floor is wet - Daft Dogs and I were woken many times during the night as the wind tried to rip the structure from it's founds, and I worried about the caravan (grateful it was unoccupied). Am rather impressed that it's still on it's wheels this morning.

Yesterday I exchanged £83 for enough pills to last the Old 'Uns another month, food for us all ditto (bar veg. which is better topped up as needed). Plus a bagful of interesting plumbing bits for sorting out the washing machine, more tiny plants and some seeds, and £12-worth of 'thermal blanketing' for my smallest trees (suspect I'll wish I'd erected that before last night's storm; no chance of finding enough energy for it after the shopping trip of course - haven't yet been to inspect the damage that I'm expecting to find ).

On the bright side, this morning I can breathe without pain or coughing - Be Lucky I needed my weird but effective onion cough-mixture over the last few days. :rotfl:

But going through my emails just now, it's apparent that I missed a couple of urgent messages while I was so low, which are going to cost me to sort out now. Drat, very unMSE.
Still haven't responded to the Council Tax people either.


Thank you so much to everyone who's posted supportive messages recently; at times I've been almost in tears at your kindness.. :smileyhea Will try and reply to bits that have jumped out at me, but it will have to be later on, as Real Life is calling [again ].

dorothy52

You okay there, Robin? Hope the weather's better there than it is here, blimming freezing!

*Robin*

Hello Diary and dear MSE Friends, :hello:

dorothy52 wrote: »

You okay there, Robin? Hope the weather's better there than it is here, blimming freezing!

Dot, the weather you've got now is one of the main reasons I prefer winters in Andalusia! It actually got warmer here last night; I let the stove go out after a couple of hours as we didn't really need it (and am running out of logs). After writing yesterday that the wind had dropped, it got up again - but now blowing from the south; Africa - I can almost smell the stink of camels in the air.

Hope your house - all your houses, dear MSE friends - are well insulated and you're able to keep comfy and warm indoors at least.

dorothy52 wrote: »

I take it then that your teenage visitors have departed?

Yes, the teenagers have gone - sheer madness [IMHO] as neither of 'em have a pressing reason to be in the UK at the moment; their employment is suspended until the ground is frost-free, it's cheaper to live here and there is paid work they could do, and DS3 and I offered to pay the supplement for changing their flights.. But it wasn't enough - maybe the gf is missing her Mum? - so they departed..

dorothy52 wrote: »

Glad mine are all grown up now, they were a nightmare in their teens in their own way. I could never get over how long they spent in the shower, particularly DS - I remember wondering how on earth he managed to get that mucky when he did so little!

..Our DS2 was the same as your DS - so PC neatly side-stepped that problem by installing electric water heaters (not a decision I was happy with at the time). But it means that one gets what's in the tank, then the water runs cold - a very effective means of hurrying up the showering process! :rotfl:

dorothy52 wrote: »

I hope that you're not too lonely - I have had periods of living alone, not through bereavement, and the long dark nights often made me feel morose (when in fact I should have been relishing the freedom of not having anyone else to consider).

My bold. You're absolutely right - must remember that when I'm feeling the lack of human companionship. Much of my contact with friends, both RL and those [eg. all of you] I've not yet met, is now via tinternet, which has advantages (have often wished for a 'preview' function on spoken comments that leave m'mouth without enough thought! ).
Recently, you lovely people have been my main support - family are busy with their own lives of course - so am very glad that I started this diary, and really do appreciate everyone who takes time to share this journey, watching as Robin embarks on Flying Solo.. :T :T :T

Mara_uk7 wrote:

Hello Robin, Ive just spent 4 hours reading right thru your diary. DH thinks Im nuts, Ive laughed, Ive cried and Ive been totally engrossed. Arent I nosey ! lol Just wanted to say Hola and wish you all good things for 2013.
Your writing style is beautiful, and I think you should seriously think about writing a lifestyle/travel type book about your experiences in Spain. I for one would certainly buy a copy !

HeadAboveWater wrote:

That's what I keep telling her!!!!

Mara, welcome again, and thank you - and HAW, for your comments.
Hmm, not sure about life here being a good subject for a book, it's been done before and I'm hardly Laurie Lee or Washington Irving! ..Am still searching for that packet of papers and medals belonging to the WW1 soldier ancestor as I think that subject is much more interesting (GrayFox, still haven't got back to you, sorry - think it's going to have to wait until I can get at the stuff I left in storage ).

Tbh, the spectre of HMRC's** deadline looms over all thoughts of creative writing; that's got to be my priority at the moment. (**NewLeaf - is this what you refer to as them?).

Be Lucky I have enough tables - problem is they're all in use already. Have moved some furniture to give free access right round the biggest table, which gives me enough space to set out all the files and paper-piles without needing to shift 'em if someone turns up.

*Robin* wrote:

I missed a couple of urgent messages while I was so low, which are going to cost me to sort out

Had a small victory there; managed to avoid the financial penalty by pre-paying the next three years' membership, which also saved an extra £75. (It's an essential spend anyway).


Hmm, am now surrounded by Daft Dogs, who know they've got summat special in the fridge and are waiting impatiently..
In town the other day, I popped into our favourite restaurant for a spot of lunch. For once it was full which was great to see, but the chef was trying to juggle so much meat on his grill that a huge steak plopped to the floor, so I wasted no time in claiming it for Daft Dogs; very :money: ..It was big enough to give them all a couple of meals (broiled, for the Old 'Uns ). My lunch bill was only £1.60, so I did rather well out of that (:D).
..And now Daft Dogs would like the final portions of their cow's-backside, so I will grant this wish :cool: and then spend some time in the garden.