Flying solo

*Robin*

Hello Diary and Dear, Wise MSE Friends, :hello:

This update has been sitting on my pc for hours; I come back to it every so often but then my thoughts are torn across the Atlantic to Newtown, Connecticut where so many lives have been needlessly shattered. Dear Lord - let those with power do the right thing now, and I pray that everyone who has been touched by this evil finds strength and in time, some healing.

**

To be honest I cannot really think about anything now. The massacre in America has been filling my heart and eyes with tears all day - all I can do is send sympathetic thoughts which will be absolutely no use at all.

Am going to abandon this update in favour of some gardening; need the fresh air.

**Topic removed due to family politics - apologies.

*Robin*

Good morning Diary and Dear Friends, :hello:

It's grey and windy here today, and there was no coloured fanfare from the dawn, just a gradual lightening of the sky.

Yesterday I stayed in the garden until it was too dark to identify whether I was pulling up plants or weeds, and needed the guidance of following CD's white tail-tip to get safely back up to the cottage.

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Sorry I'm not much help with the property decisions, but I'm glad you have had a lovely time with DS4 Xx

Be Lucky, you - and everyone who comments - are a great help because, no matter what your experience, you've got common sense in bucket-loads which is so valuable; the things I used to discuss with DH are getting written down here instead, and sometimes I do need telling if I veer towards doing something really stupid.

**Topic removed due to family politics - apologies.

dorothy52

Hi Robin - I would certainly offer to help him out financially for the next year if he is as honourable as you say he is. Reading how much this is playing on your mind I think it would provide you all with peace of mind until he is able to retire and pay the money back. That's just me, though, I am a soft touch and will readily admit it, however I hope that one day all the people I have helped over the years are in a position to, or are willing to help me if I need it. If not, then I hope that they will pay it forward and that someone else in need or distress benefits from my often misguided generosity. I fear that I will end my days as a pauper with a clear conscience!!

Well done on the gardening, however I hope that you didn't over do it, we do worry about you you know. As regards ME and the benefit system, it really p1sses me off that there is such a gaping loophole which renders someone who clearly can not work and yet does not appear to be entitled to help.

I know that all your mse friends will give you their take on the situation, based on their life experiences, I just hope that our suggestions help you to arrive at a solution that you feel comfortable with.

I remember right at the start of your diary you told us that you hesitated about posting as you and PC were such private people, and yet here you are now sharing so much with us, I love love love reading your diary and am so pleased that I came out of lurkdom and joined in.

Has CD been a good girl and not wandered off? How are the oldies?

Fudgefund

Hi Robin :A

As you know, I do not have bucket loads of common sense (perhaps a thimble full although you may disagree :rotfl:). I think you are a lovely person to take on someone elses problems the way you do, but I am concerned for you. Are you SURE you could cope financially if for one reason or another this chap couldn't pay you back what is owed? As you are lending on credit this seems a bit vulnerable. You have so much to cope with at the moment, I'm just not sure you should be shouldering this as well. Hope this doesn't seem really negative, just want you to consider this fully as I'm sure you're doing.

HeadAboveWater

Hey Robin

Can see I've missed quite a bit since Friday by your edited posts but understandable that you don't want to leave certain things online for the whole world to see!

Glad DS4 arrived safe and sound

dorothy52 wrote: »

I love love love reading your diary

Me too!!!

Hope you had a good day yesterday

*Robin*

Hello Diary and Dear MSE Friends, :hello:

I owe you all a huge apology.
Regular visitors to my diary will notice that I have removed certain details from recent posts. The reason for this is that there are a number of MSEers who know me in RL - including at least one who is involved in the deleted topic.

dorothy52 wrote: »

I remember right at the start of your diary you told us that you hesitated about posting as you and DH were such private people, and yet here you are now sharing so much with us

Dot, bless you and thank you for your observation. You're right, I have moved a long way from the stance I had when DH was alive. Too far. It's all very well my using all you good people as a sounding board re my own affairs, but I over-stepped the mark by giving so much detail about someone else's problems.

Fudgefund wrote:

Are you SURE you could cope financially if for one reason or another this chap couldn't pay you back what is owed? As you are lending on credit this seems a bit vulnerable.

It has become a swings and roundabouts situation. I shall treat any assistance as a gift - my Death Duties Fund won't grow as fast, but I could cope with the loss if the 'loan' was not repaid. In the grand scheme of things, it's really not that much money compared to future benefits for those I care about. It's worth it for me to remove the pressure from the person I'm most closely connected to.

Thanks to MSE I've actually done quite well in the last few months; paying off my loan and a couple of CCs. Being mortgage free is an incredible boon - I will never cease to be grateful to DH for engineering that position.

dorothy52 wrote: »

I love love love reading your diary and am so pleased that I came out of lurkdom and joined in.

Dot I am also very, very pleased you have joined my Diary journey - your wisdom, and that of everyone who has been kind enough to post, is absolutely invaluable to me and I really do appreciate the time and effort you all put in to help a RL stranger..

dorothy52 wrote: »

As regards ME and the benefit system, it really p1sses me off that there is such a gaping loophole which renders someone who clearly can not work and yet does not appear to be entitled to help.

This topic deserves further discussion. In my own case, there's no way I could work set hours away from my home. I think that must be true of all genuine disability benefits claimants. But everyone feels better about themselves if they have some interest beyond their illness, and better yet if whatever small effort is possible results in a financial reward. Unfortunately modern society is not set up to enable any but the most self-sufficient and determined to help themselves.

Capitalism is one root of the problem. Government has become corporate. Too many people have grown up with an attitude of entitlement, and the system's rules have removed their ability to work out problems for themselves.

David Attenborough commented not so long ago, that since he began broadcasting the number of people on our planet has doubled - think about it, as that is another root in the monstrous edifice which is making life harder for most people, not just those who are vulnerable through whatever infirmity.


Hmm. Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now.

The Old Dogs are fed up with their fish paella, so today they're having chicken - it's time I was stripping the meat off the bone and cooking the rice, or their lunch will be late.

None of us would want that, would we?

NewLeaf_2

Ha ha ha all of our dogs are on the rolls royce diet. mine get chicken rice and carrots!

dorothy52

Oh I am so glad to see you back, Robin:T

I too thought long and hard after I had posted, and wondered if I should have urged you to exercise caution, however I then realised that I was simply telling you what I would do, and why. I still maintain that I feel better in myself in helping those I care most about than having loads of £ sings in a bank book (showing my age here lol)

Again I will assert that I am confident that you will make the right decision for all the right reasons and that should remain private. Of course we will all continue to be your sounding board for future decisions that you want to talk over with us - we are a wise bunch, your MSE friends, and I am quite sure that we will between us provide a balanced view.

Back to work now, and give the dogs a hug from me

Dot
x

*Robin*

Hello Diary and MSE Friends, :hello:

It has got much warmer here in the last 24 hours; didn't need to light the stove last night, although went to bed ridiculously early after a very satisfying dinner which included an aubergine picked from my own garden - my first 'harvest' since arriving. I also found three healthy potato plants growing in a compost heap, and have fourteen oranges on a four year old tree to look forward to (not quite ready yet).
Ay - small pleasures.

DS4 visited first thing this morning with sad news; Ex's dog has died. She was younger than all of mine..

NewLeaf wrote: »

Ha ha ha all of our dogs are on the rolls royce diet. mine get chicken rice and carrots!

Aha - yes carrots are good, my pack get them instead of commercial doggy treats, though BD and Auntie need them cooked these days (both healthier and MSE ).
I gave the Old 'Uns broccoli with their chicken paella yesterday, which they loved - but CD and FD were a bit miffed that they didn't get any of it, even though they had raw wings instead.

Still, I may change the younger two's diet; did a costing after the last shopping trip which shows that here it's actually cheaper to feed the dogs on 'human' ingredients, as pet food is taxed higher than staples intended for people. :think:

dorothy52 wrote:

I too thought long and hard after I had posted, and wondered if I should have urged you to exercise caution, however I then realised that I was simply telling you what I would do, and why. I still maintain that I feel better in myself in helping those I care most about than having loads of £ sings in a bank book (showing my age here lol)

Dot what you said made perfect sense - it's exactly the kind of thing I need reminding about now that DH is not moderating my enthusiasms!
And I agree with you absolutely, ££s are better put to work somewhere useful than languishing in a bank. I do find that the stuff tends to return if one is generous in passing it around..


..Time to go and annihilate more weeds and meditate.

dorothy52

You go girl in your garden (however I hope you have finished by now lol. Had a quick read in my lunch break but didn't have time to respond. We will of course moderate your enthusiasm if we consider it needs moderating, otherwise we will cheer you on! I was sorry to hear that ex's dog is waiting at the Rainbow Bridge. It is always sad to hear of the loss of a much loved pet, even when one doesn't know the Master/Mistress.

Off to bed so night all, and I will check in tomorrow to see what you have been up to.