How much freedom to play out?

Alikay

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Did your kids ever give them cause to complain? If not I think it's very sad they caused so much hassle to you over it.

Absolutely not, they were just horrid neighbours . By the time we moved away the kids were all teenagers and had outgrown riding their bikes in the street and skipping.

Tiddlywinks

barbarawright wrote: »

Kids play out opposite my house all the time. Why would anyone object to that? I'm sure we all played outside when we were in infants school and the neighbours managed to survive.

Um, because it's a shared space and so there should be respect all round and, even with the best will in the world, groups of kids do misbehave without adult supervision.

GobbledyGook wrote: »

We had one woman who lived here (ironically in current grumpy man's house) who came knocking complaining about the potential for the children to damage her car/plants/windows/wall. I'm afraid she got a rather short shrift from me in the end. If you have something to actually complain about then fine, but it's downright rude to expect parents not to allow their normal children to play out because you believe certain publications assertions that all children are feral nowadays and all parents will stand by while they are so.

However, if the driveway, plants, walls and windows etc are her property then why shouldn't she ask for them to keep away - children need to learn boundaries and a sense of responsibility and that includes teaching them that they need to keep away from areas that aren't their own.

It is NOT acceptable to use a road (even if it is a close or cul de sac) as a personal playground - particularly when young kids are on bikes, scooters, playing ball etc and there are cars around (as in.. other people's property) which can be damaged or that might present a danger.

Your children, your responsibility.

GobbledyGook

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

However, if the driveway, plants, walls and windows etc are her property then why shouldn't she ask for them to keep away - children need to learn boundaries and a sense of responsibility and that includes teaching them that they need to keep away from areas that aren't their own.

It is NOT acceptable to use a road (even if it is a close or cul de sac) as a personal playground - particularly when young kids are on bikes, scooters, playing ball etc and there are cars around (as in.. other people's property) which can be damaged or that might present a danger.

Your children, your responsibility.

My point regarding this neighbour was that the children weren't (yet, in her opinion) anywhere near playing on or damaging her property.

They were playing on communal grass (not next to her house) or skating up and down the path. They weren't playing in the road.

She wanted them kept in just in case they ever strayed towards her property - something they had never done, and never did when she was living there. She was assuming that because the newspaper she read said that all children were feral and that it was only a matter of time before they were rampaging around wrecking her garden and breaking her windows that they would be, whereas that just was never going to happen. She didn't just ask once either - that's why she got the short shrift in the end because she just kept going on and on despite admitting that they'd never bothered her, she was just adamant that they 'would at some point'.

My daughter is 9. She has been playing out since she was 4 1/2. Once I took her to a neighbour because she took a shot of a friends skateboard and rolled into their garden and over a plant. She apologised, we replaced the plant, she was grounded for 2 weeks and she hasn't been near a skateboard since. Another time she (and her friend) were taken to apologise by friend's mum because their game got silly loud and they disturbed a neighbour. Again they had time where they weren't allowed out. Once they joined in a game where another child from another street brought a ball and it hit a car. In 5 years that is genuinely all the times that I have had to apologise to neighbours for her behaviour. Our neighbour that likes a drink on the weekend has caused more bother than that!

My children ARE my responsibility, that's why I didn't need a grump telling me what they were going to behave like when I know how my children behave (and that's why one has less freedom than the other at that age).

*Louise*

averagemummy wrote: »

Some people walked past and thought it terrible that she had been allowed out beyond the garden to play?

How do you know they said something? Did they say it out loud as they passed or something? If they did then I hope your DH spoke up and put their facts straight?




I have kids of varying ages and am lucky to have found a house on the edge of the large school playing field with no roads and very low numbers of people passing, it's ideal for the kids.

DS2 (7) is allowed across to the playing field but I can see him from the front door.

DD (5) She takes a piece of chalk out and draws a line on the path two gardens away either side so she doesn't 'forget her boundary'. :rotfl:She is so cute, and never strays over

DS1 (12) Is allowed to the park at the far end of the school grounds, to his friends houses, local shop and of course he travels on the bus to High school anyway but he has to have his phone on him at all times.


It does annoy me when I see kids unattended though. I was at a park with my lot and there was a 3 year old boy there with no parent in sight. The poor little lad was being picked on by other children and I couldn't go home not knowing he was safe. In the end I told him I thought I heard his mum shouting him in for dinner, we all walked along the road with him and saw him safely across the road and into his house. It's not as if his mum was even in the garden watching from a distance

SnowyOwl_2

The children around here play out unsupervised a lot. It's a cul de sac and apparently "safe". One house is currently unoccupied (sadly a repossession) and when the children twigged onto there being no-one in residence it became a target for stone throwers, mostly by four, five and six year olds. The stone throwing only stopped when a window got broken - assumably an adult intervened at that point.

I don't understand why parents don't tell their children to bring home their sweet, crisp and ice-cream wrappers and put them in the bin. I see at least one child - but usually more - simply throw the wrappers on the ground. It's such a mess, the parents have no pride and the children have no concept of not throwing litter.

I keep my mouth shut about all of the above as I don't want my house to be targeted by stone throwers when I am out. It's the parents I blame rather than the children as the parents simply turn a blind eye to what their children do.

averagemummy

*Louise* wrote: »

How do you know they said something? Did they say it out loud as they passed or something? If they did then I hope your DH spoke up and put their facts straight?

Yes they had spoken this out loud and he overheard them as he was in the driveway. I'm not sure if he said anything to them to be honest, I think he was a bit shocked that they had thought this; and then he said to be perhaps we were a bit relaxed about the whole thing?

As we are almost overlooking the green (side onto it) I am sticking my head out the door every 10 to 15 mins or just to make sure I can see her.

But as we have the lovely open space right next to us it would be a shame not to let her have some freedom (I kind of think along the Enid Blyton scenario too!). All the kids play together so she has certainly widened her circle of friends.

Brallaqueen

I don't have children but I get a lot of joy from seeing and hearing them play out with each other. I live in a mixed cul de sac (flats and houses) with a lot of green around and I'm glad that the parents here let their children play freely on bikes and push scooters, it really makes the area feel like a home.

NickyBat

My boy (11) plays out, we allow him round the block or he goes to the local shop on his bike but he always has his phone on so i can contact him or he me. the resident Mr Grumpy did call the police once when he was about 7 playing on our path as he told them the ball was hitting his car, what he didn't know was i was sitting on the doorstep watching him (the ball wasn't anywhere near his car) and i told the police in no uncertain terms about him. They apologised as they got a call saying there was a group of kids causing trouble and it was in fact my little one and his friend.!!!
He has recently asked if he can go to the park but i am so reluctant to let him go as you just don't know who is hanging around these days, and it's not adults it's other kids you need to be wary of sometimes.

I'ts a sad state of affairs really, when we were kids we had a lot of freedom, more than i feel i can safely give my child.

kimbyanne

Whilst I agree that children should be allowed to play - I don't think they should be allowed to play outside of other people's houses or near to their cars.

I am currently dealing with several families who allow their children to play "out front" in the parking area. Cars have been scratched by bikes / scooters, wing mirrors smashed off by footballs, planting destroyed by trampling, etc. There can be 10-15 children out there at any one time, making loads of noise - if you try to reverse out or get to your parking space you tend to find it filled by children / blocked by their bikes / scooters - and they just stare at you when you ask them to move. They play out there until 10pm most nights, it is horrendous driving down there at night when you can't see them as they appear out of nowhere and run behind / in front of cars.

Parent's don't care, it seems to long as they are out of the house and therefore not causing them trouble - it doesn't matter.

I find it enraging because there is a large playing field and park literally across the road!

Now whilst my experience is on the extreme side, I can totally understand why some neighbours don't want other people's children playing near their property. I have absolutely no problem with children playing in their gardens, outside their house, at the park, etc. I just don't want my property damaged or to have to keep my windows closed during the summer because children are running around directly outside my house screaming at 10pm!

gingin_2

I would also add that parents maybe get their children to vary where their children play. We have 3 very well behaved boys who live about 10 doors away but seem to like to use outside my house as their meeting point ( I live street front, no front garden ). They have scooters that clatter along the pavement and then a little jump point just outside my living room that sounds like a great roar of thunder when they play and one scooter seriously needs oiling. They were out alll weekend and we were busy working/ studying at home and it was frustrating.

I would never deny them doing so, they do nothing wrong themselves but I would hope that the parents might have the foresight to alternate where they might play, just so we can get some peace.