Divorce - financial settlement advice please

back2square1

I am requesting this information on behalf of my friend who is currently at her wits end.

My friend and her husband split March 2006, he moved out the same month of the matrimonial home. They have 2 children under 16. Friend is currently living in the matrimonial home with their children however her ex-husband is pushing for her to put it up for sale. Once sold he wants to split the equity 50/50.

My friend had a local estate agent value property last week for £220k, I have advised her to get at least another 2 EA's round for valuations.

There is £75000 joint mortgage remaining on this property. An identical property sold last week for £210k therefore in theory, there is a possible £135000 equity, which would be reduced further from EA fees, legal fees, etc.

Solicitors were informed last year regarding their separation however they have held back in pursuing the divorce because of solicitor costs and have thought about processing divorce themselves without involving solicitors. However financial settlement between them is probably going to be less amicable.

Can anyone please give any advice on the following points:

1. Is my friend only entitled to 50% share of equity or can she get more being as the 2 children live with her and spend 2 nights a week with their father?

2. Does she have to sell the property or can she buy him out (yes she can afford to do this) but she is unsure whether or not her ex husband can force her to sell house?

She really wants to stay in the house and make it her own because of her children will be happier staying there and have been through enough this last year with their parents splitting up. She does appreciate that her ex husband needs his share of equity so he can buy his own place (he has got a very well paid job and will never suffer financially). But does she HAVE to sell house or can she offer to buy him out?

As far as her ex husband is concerned, buying him out is not an option. He is a very intimidating person and my friend really needs to know all the facts before discussing with him any further.

She has asked her solicitor about what share of equity she can get and the solicitor did not say what is the minimum she is entitled to. He just said I can get you 70/30, but as we all know solicitors cost money and they do not always get the result you want.

Sorry for this exhaustive read but anyone's opinions or advice on this would be most appreciated.

Jet

Solicitors will quite often tell you 70/30 split but in reality it can be costly. And every situation is different.

Is there no way she can negotiate with her husband? 60/40 split perhaps?

I did this with my husband and although my solicitor was keen to tell me I could have had more, I knew the extra would have been eaten up in solicitors costs as well as the bad feeling created between myself and my husband.

I'm sorry but there aren't any hard and fast "rules" about what she could or not get.

Perhaps someone else on here who has fought their ex with solicitors can advise how much it cost in legal fees, perhaps then, your friend can assess whether it's worth pursuing down the legal route.

Becles

back2square1 wrote: »

1. Is my friend only entitled to 50% share of equity or can she get more being as the 2 children live with her and spend 2 nights a week with their father?

She probably would be entitled to a bigger percentage, given she is the primary carer for the children. However it would be a matter for solicitors/courts to decide if it cannot be agreed on.

2. Does she have to sell the property or can she buy him out (yes she can afford to do this) but she is unsure whether or not her ex husband can force her to sell house?

Yes she can buy him out. I did this when I split with my ex, as I felt it was better for the children to remain in their own bedrooms, stay at the same school, still have the same bunch of friends in the street etc.

Debt_Free_Chick

She does not necessarily need to sell the house and does not necessarily have to buy him out either!

The Court's primary concern will be that the children are adequately housed, so they might insist that they remain the current house until they are 18 (or complete full time education). The husband might then have to pay maintenance too and wait until the kids have grown up. At that point the property can be sold and he gets his equity then. He doesn't need equity now - he needs to house his kids even if he has to rent for the next 18 or more years!

The alternative to consider is whether the current home could be sold, with a suitable property bought outright to house mum & kids.

To be honest, she should consult a solicitor. I know there are costs involved, but the cost of a solicitor could well be made up by the benefits of a better settlement.

Solicitors costs merely reduce the value of the assets available to split up between them. Would she get legal aid for her costs? It depends on her income Even if she does, she may have to repay some of it at the end of the divorce, once the assets have been split. Otherwise, even without legal aid, some solicitors will defer their bill until the assets have been sorted.

The divorce will aim for a "clean break" which means she can't go back on the deal once it's finalised. For this reason, it's important she gets it right, first time, and I really think a solicitor is the way to go.

Estimating the costs is difficult as it really depends on how much negotiation is required. If each party argues every tiny detail, the costs will spiral upwards. If they can be pragmatic and aim to do the best for the children, then the costs can probably be managed. It really depends on the extent to which they are each prepared to compromise. But the costs should not really get in the way of securing the best deal for the children.

Regards

back2square1

Thats what I told my friend too, but will the courts take this into consideration???

Her ex husband as I mentioned earlier is very very intimidating, he is very clever, especially at negotiating financial deals (thats his job). I really want my friend to get what she is entitled to, but I am worried he will harrass, belittle and undermine her. He is a ruthless businessman who always gets what he wants. (Think you are getting the picture for the reason why they split up!!)

I have told my friend I will support her as much as I can whilst she is trying to sort financial settlement with her ex husband. (I continuously tell her to register to MSE too!!) BUT ultimately it is my friend who the ex husband will be challenging and I really want her to be confident with all the facts because he will try to con her.

Debt_Free_Chick

back2square1 wrote: »

Her ex husband as I mentioned earlier is very very intimidating, he is very clever, especially at negotiating financial deals (thats his job). I really want my friend to get what she is entitled to, but I am worried he will harrass, belittle and undermine her. He is a ruthless businessman who always gets what he wants. (Think you are getting the picture for the reason why they split up!!)

One of the reasons for paying a solicitor Her ex will then have to deal with her solicitor - or have his solicitor deal with her solicitor.

If she feels he can bully her into a less favourable settlement, then maybe that's the one good reason for employing a solicitor. Especially as they know what the Courts are likely to agree to, in terms of what she's entitled to.

back2square1

Thank you for your comments debt free chick. I know I keep mentioning how intimidating her exhusband is, but believe me I cannot describe how much control this man still has (or tries to have).

He is well aware that a solicitor will put him straight and he is using the maintenance as a negotiation tool with my friend. Basically if she goes through solicitors for financial settlement he will pay CSA rate. If she doesnt go through solicitors and he gets what he wants he will pay her £300 a month more maintenance.

I told my friend that to be honest do you want your ex husband to be controlling you using the maintenance as a bargaining tool?? Because he will right up until he doesn't have to pay for the children anymore when they are both 16.

I know you cannot get more than CSA rate for the 2 children through the courts (CSA is £372 pcm). I told my friend if it comes to it, just have £372 maint a month. At least you will no longer have him controlling your financial decisions ie. selling house etc.

My friend is in full time employment, she does not struggle financially so really if her ex husband did give her £672 maint pcm the extra £300 would just be a big bonus. BUT is it worth it? I told my friend no its not.

back2square1

You're right Debt Free Chick, in fact looking at my thread and your responses in black and white is more or less screaming out loud "GET A SOLCIITOR".

I have just sent my friend a text message saying have a look at my thread on MSE. Hopefully when she reads this she will agree.

THANKS alot for your advice!!

Jet

If he doesn't HAVE to pay her an additional £300 per month maintenance there is no guarantee he will do so.

£372 is a decent amount of maintenance (some of us on here don't get a penny) and if she's financially stable herself anyway, then don't let him hold all the cards.

By the way, the courts won't deal with maintenance at all - they will expect you to make an agreement yourselves or use the CSA.


:wave: hello back2square1's friend!

Debt_Free_Chick

Jet wrote: »

If he doesn't HAVE to pay her an additional £300 per month maintenance there is no guarantee he will do so.

Fair point - he could dangle this as a carrot and then simply refuse to agree to the higher amount.

When you are not sure of your rights, you are in danger of having someone else walk all over you - more so if the other side is intimidating & controlling. In this situation, I would simply get a solicitor to "argue my corner".

As I understand it, the divorce process includes "financial mediation" which attempts to get both parties to agree to a financial settlement. It's only where a settlement cannot be agreed that the Court will impose one. What the solicitor tries to do is to get you the best possible deal, knowing what the Court is likely to impose, if the disagreement ended up in front of a Judge.

Once agreed, the Court simply "stamps" the order to confirm the financial settlement which each party has agreed to.

Managing solicitors costs and getting a "smooth" divorce settlement needs each party to have be in the mood for a compromise ... which is very difficult when emotions (and money!) are running so high.

pinkshoes

Well, from reading all the posts, both are financially well off, and both can afford to buy the other out, so selling the house is probably unnecessary.

Does the husband choose to have the kids 2 nights a week, or would he like them to live with him in the family home, and your friend could go elsewhere? what i'm saying is, he does seem to be getting a raw deal from this i.e. SHE gets the kids, and SHE is demanding 70% of the house, and then also demanding maintenance payments for the kids.

If they've both paid equally into the mortgage, and he's happy for her to look after the kids for 5 nights a week, then a 50/50 split sounds fair, with him buying her out.

I'm just trying to look at this from an outsiders point of view, and if it was your friend who got told she could only have the kids 2 nights a week, she had to move out the family home so her husband could live in it with their 2 kids, AND she'd only get 30% of the equity, I'm sure she'd be fuming!!

Maybe this is where the husband's agressiveness is coming from?