worred about brother's baby

Nenen

overlykeensaver wrote: »

I am close to SiL but not sure if I could raise PND, or in actual fact not sure how I would go about asking about it.

You sound really caring and, while I agree with PPs who have said that it's difficult to judge others' parenting and you only get a 'snapshot' of what is going on, if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong it would be kind to investigate a little further so that you can offer support and help if necessary.

Could you not mention to your brother that your sil doesn't seem quite herself and ask if there is anything you can do to help? He may be struggling with things himself and not know how/who to tell. Assuming this is their first baby he might even think this is normal for new mothers.

Alternatively, especially as you have a new baby yourself, you could 'casually' mention PND to your Sil (with a ficticious friend if need be) along the lines of...
bringing up babies is just such hard work I'm so glad I don't have to contend with PND on top of that. A 'friend' of mine at Mother and toddler group (or wherever you go) has had such an awful time with PND, she's such a lovely woman and good mother but hasn't bonded with her baby and has lost all motivation.
If you can say things in a supportive way without appearing judgemental (which I'm sure you're not) it might just be the opener your sil needs if that is what is going on for her. If she does admit she has problems then please advise her to see her GP asap and get Homestart involved if possible too. PND is treatable and, if that is what is happening, she will be profoundly grateful for your help once she is through to the other side of it.

back2square1

I have just read the reply from "Evilwitch" on page 1. I think that was a very very brave thing to do yesterday to admit how you feel. You are not the first person and certainly will not be the last. I had terrible PND too. My children are now 7 and 5 and my PND days are now long gone. HOwever I could relate to everything you wrote in your post.

I would just like to point out that it is those mothers who realise that they may have PND or are not coping and ask for help who are GOOD mothers!! You are asking for help, support etc because you are wanting to improve the situation.

It must be terrible to not even realise that there is something wrong and that your child(ren) could be suffering as a consequence. (Suffering probably a strong word to use, usually children only encounter lack of your interaction with them.)

As I mentioned yesterday there are some brilliant support networks out there, Home-start, mums and tots groups, Health Visitor. My Health Visitors ran a course for mothers who were struggling to cope. Every week we atteneded a session at local community centre where the children went into a creche whilst the mothers sat and spoke about their issues to the Health Visitors. We all had to listen to each other one by one and offer advice, answers and try and find a solution to our own problems. Health Visitors facilitated the sessions and it was a definite step in the right direction.

I have been a Home-start volunteer for almost 3years now, admittedly I am not always supporting mothers with PND but each and every family is in need of support. All the families I have supported have always improved and it is great to have been part of that.