Save my Pension

NAR

pool-hustler wrote: »

To say everything is equal is a sham if one partner is irresponsible.
I doubt i'll get anywhere with this argument.

Not necessarily true. However you will require documentary evidence to back this up and also prove the irresponsible spending was not for the betterment of the family.

jackyann

General, rather than personal comment: the issue about womes' pensions has changed over the last couple of generations.
I knew women of my mother's generation who gave up work to support their husband's career or business. The husbands, the corporations (and in some cases the government) benefited from these women's input. Some women still do that and they are entitled to recompense when/if the marriage fails. I knew more than one woman who sacrificed her life to enable her husband's promotions, then entered old age in penury when he found a new model.
As for most present-day families, as long as the decision was made jointly, with a view to benefiting the children, then the SAH partner, is I think, entitled to some sort of financial recompense & benefit.
If the working partner thinks the other is not pulling their weight, then it needs to be dealt with at the time.

It is a completely different matter to an irresponsible, spendthrift partner demanding money - but as most couples don't document their discussions, almost impossible to prove!

caeler

This isn't going to be very helpful but an £80K CETV is alot of money but a final salary pension will be worth SIGNIFICANTLY more in retirement so your wife would be a fool not to pursue a sharing order assuming you've been married for at least as long as your eldest. I appreciate what you said about your wife being in a position to work but deciding to forgo a pension for clothes and wine but I'd imagine you'd have to prove this neglect and neglect doesn't pay the bills and bring up children so I'm not sure it would even be relevant, although if you both earn about the same maybe that will help.

I think you need some serious legal advice on appropriate financial settlement to save your pension, final salary schemes are worth so much even giving her the entire house might not be enough.

jackyann

AppleMatt wrote: »

Thanks to everyone that has shared info - it's enlightening!

I guess I've always been independent and my partner is also independent - we go dutch when we spend anything, etc.

I can see the argument with bringing up children vs. working, definitely.

Still not sold on the idea of marriage though

I told my husband that when I was a SAHM, I wanted a pension for those years. I was also lucky enough to be in the first tranche of parents who got State Pension credits if they were not working whilst caring for children.

Yorkie1

caeler wrote: »

This isn't going to be very helpful but an £80K CETV is alot of money but a final salary pension will be worth SIGNIFICANTLY more in retirement so your wife would be a fool not to pursue a sharing order assuming you've been married for at least as long as your eldest. I appreciate what you said about your wife being in a position to work but deciding to forgo a pension for clothes and wine but I'd imagine you'd have to prove this neglect and neglect doesn't pay the bills and bring up children so I'm not sure it would even be relevant, although if you both earn about the same maybe that will help.

I think you need some serious legal advice on appropriate financial settlement to save your pension, final salary schemes are worth so much even giving her the entire house might not be enough.

I saw an article recently which said that solicitors may well face negligence claims for divorce settlements going back some time, where the question of pension values weren't properly explored with appropriate evidence (didn't affect all cases, probably just the higher value ones).

This is a live issue and I would certainly agree that legal advice is the best place to start.