Save my Pension

rpc

NAR wrote: »

Why does my wife say "What's yours is mine and what's mine is my own?"

I don't know. Mine does too. Apparently it is the way they interpret 'sharing'.

GobbledyGook

AppleMatt wrote: »

Ha! Thanks for an answer. I can't see how that can be fair.. pensions are individual things, I would expect my other half to nurture her own one.

Can't see how that's selfish!

It depends if your other half has sacrificed her opportunity to nurture a pension for your career and any children you have surely?

Take me for an example. I was at university and my then fianc! was offered his dream job, but it meant a move far from home. We decided as a couple to get married, make the move and start a family. For the first few years he worked 12 hour days as that was what was going to get him to the position he wanted. So in that time I cooked every meal, kept our house clean, washed every shirt and took on 99.9% of the care of our children.

We chose as a couple to sacrifice my opportunity at having a career and pension to live the life we had. Why should he then have sole access to the pension that we both had a hand in nurturing when he wrecked our marriage? Should I have walked away with nothing if the pension was worth considerably more than the equity in the house?

Pensions are only an individual thing if you and your other half are absolutely equal in everything throughout your marriage.

floss2

NAR wrote: »

Why does my wife say "What's yours is mine and what's mine is my own?"

rpc wrote: »

I don't know. Mine does too. Apparently it is the way they interpret 'sharing'.

Isn't it just the guys who say this bit?!

rpc wrote: »

"All that I am I give to you, all that I have I share with you"

NAR

floss2 wrote: »

Isn't it just the guys who say this bit?!

Only to their mates when the wife isn't within earshot! :rotfl:

somethingcorporate

Although it was a few years ago my mum gave up work to bring up myself and sister. It irked my dad something rotten (even to this day) that he had to give up 40% of his FS pension for her but it seemed perfectly reasonable to me.

Unfortunately, when it comes to something as emotional as divorce the terms "reasonable" rarely occur.

TheConways

You have NOTHING individual when you are married. If you are worried about this, this suggests you don't completely trust the other person, or envision not being together for the rest of your lives. If this is the case, don't get married!

My pension and earnings currently outstrip Mr. Conway's, largely because I'm 4+ years ahead in my career than he is. I cannot imagine being parted, but if say we did, I would naturally expect to split my pensions and investments equally with him.

floss2

Also, remember that until the 1990's part time employees were not permitted to join pension schemes, so if wives worked part time they would have no company pension. This happened to me and as a result I have only started to build a pension up in the last 13 years, despite being only 20 years off retiring (unless the date moves again!).

NAR

Memo to myself - floss2 will not be after my body, only my pension!

pool-hustler

Quiet interesting that there are those that feel that everything is equal despite how each partner lived.
I'm sure the Judge won't care either.

basically we both worked full time throughout the whole time. Many debts were ran up and an IVA ensued. whaen it was all tallied up she owed about 75% of the debt. Mostly continually upgrading her car. A pension was not on her agenda at all. not til now of course. She could have got a pension but invested in Gucci instead.

To say everything is equal is a sham if one partner is irresponsible.

I doubt i'll get anywhere with this arguement.

NEVER GET MARRIED

AppleMatt

Thanks to everyone that has shared info - it's enlightening!

I guess I've always been independent and my partner is also independent - we go dutch when we spend anything, etc.

I can see the argument with bringing up children vs. working, definitely.

Still not sold on the idea of marriage though