I can't even afford my current situation let alone CSA payments

Squiffilect

clearingout wrote: »

I am afraid you needed to have thought this through before leaving - if you genuinely believe that the children are at risk in some way, you should have taken them with you and applied for housing and child related benefits. As you have left, you have basically said it's OK and it's going to make it all the harder to deal with.

Have a look at the Families Need Father's website for some advice on contact with the children.

The CSA is right in that you have little option but to pay as they can arrange to have it taken direct from your wages regardless so you'll lose that money. Have you spoken to the mortgage company about going interest only? if you explain the situation, they give you a temporary reprieve on interest only whilst you use the court process to help you out.

Don't be a victim. Get information about your situation and act using the legal system. Comments along the lines of 'she's only doing it to hurt me' don't help, do they? They just serve to make you feel sorry for yourself and leave you in a helpless position without actually doing anything. So do something.

I couldn't take the kids with me... The only other option I had would have been to kick her out, but I couldn't even do that without giving up work and subsequentially losing the house.

I had thought it through, very hard thought too. I just didn't bank on her being so spiteful and ignorent.

I don't feel sorry for myself. I had no other "real" choice.

Getting back on to the current situation, I've asked the mortgage lender for interest only and they said "not while there are arranged and affordable arrears payments and especially not without her consent"

BigAunty

skintandscared wrote: »

Why are you liable for the WHOLE mortgage on the house where your ex and children live? If it's a joint mortgage, she's liable for £450 of it.

She's not liable for 50% of it in a strictly legal sense.

Like a joint tenancy or credit loan or council tax bill, for example, there is joint and several liability which means the service provider doesn't care who pays or what percentage, £x is due on x date and it's up to either one or both to pay it, it doesn't matter who. The service provider will chase one or both for the arrears.

Any agreement to pay a certain percentage is simply an informal one made between the two parties - it doesn't hold water with the lender.

Marisco

TBH I'd just tell her straight, either the house gets sold or she gets kicked out!! My oh was in a similar position, everything was reasonably ok until the CSA stuck their oar in!! :mad: At one point he was seriously thinking of giving up work as we could not see an alternative. But he'd have lost his and pension. But he had to stop paying the morgage and her debts, it's a shame the CSA don't think of things like this before they put the screw on!!!

BigAunty

OP - if you enter her basic details into the Turn2us online benefit calculator, you will identify her basic entitlements as a lone parent.

I believe that a non-working lone parent of 2 children will get around £200 per week in their hand and no council tax to pay (child tax credits, child benefit, income support (if the youngest is under 5) or JSA if the youngest is 5 or more.


However, while your travel and other living costs aren't taken into account for CSA, neither is your child support included in her benefit calculations - she will receive this on top of her benefit entitlements.

There is a Support for Mortgage Interest scheme whereby the govt pays the interest part of a mortgage for certain households on benefits, sometimes time limited. I don't know how this applies when there are joint owners in a relationship breakdown, one of whom receives an income.

There should be info on this on the Direct Gov and Shelter websites, plus other schemes that are there to prevent households becoming homeless through repossession. I don't know about eligibility but Shelter has a homeowners contact number I believe so give them a call.


The Shelter website has a relationship breakdown section which explains about rights and options for joint homeowners, plus how to deal with and avoid mortgage arrears and repossession. It also leads on to information on divorce, etc.

Have you seen a solicitor to find out about divorce and settlement options, plus mediation?

Sometimes I believe that lone parents can get some kind of court order to reside in a jointly owned property until the youngest child turns 18 but I don't believe that there is an automatic expectation for the non-resident parent to pay all the mortgage for this period.

skintandscared_2

BigAunty wrote: »

She's not liable for 50% of it in a strictly legal sense.

Like a joint tenancy or credit loan or council tax bill, for example, there is joint and several liability which means the service provider doesn't care who pays or what percentage, £x is due on x date and it's up to either one or both to pay it, it doesn't matter who. The service provider will chase one or both for the arrears.

Any agreement to pay a certain percentage is simply an informal one made between the two parties - it doesn't hold water with the lender.

Yes I know that in a legal sense the couple are jointly, or either are severally, liable for the payment. But I'd bet she'll more than likely be expecting 50% of any equity if the property is sold! The point is, no matter how hard she stamps her feet, she cannot expect him to pay ALL of the mortgage plus the amount the CSA are demanding. There just isn't that amount available. The house is half hers, so let her pay at least something towards it.

fannyanna

OP I feel for you. You probably don’t realise this as you’re stuck in the middle of it all but the solution really is quite simple. Something has to give and that something is either the £900 mortgage or the £550 accommodation costs of your own.

You need to work out which is the lesser of the two evils. Write a list of the pro’s and con’s of both options and then pick where to live. A few thoughts for consideration:

Move back in with the ex

Pro’s – you save £550 per month (so can afford maintenance – which will probably be at a much reduced rate because you are also resident), you get to see your children, you continue to pay your mortgage.
Con’s – the environment is volatile (I don’t know whether you mean it’s an uncomfortable and awkward situation or if you’re endangered / at risk – or somewhere in the middle).

Stay where you are but stop paying the mortgage

Pro’s – you save £900 per month (so can afford maintenance and extra to get legal help to fight for visitation/custody rights)), you don’t live in a volatile environment.
Con’s – you don’t see your children, the house will be repossessed (there may be financial losses re: equity and your ex and children will be made homeless – but I’m sure they’ll be re-housed as a priority).

BigAunty

skintandscared wrote: »

.. The house is half hers, so let her pay at least something towards it.

Again, in a legal sense, the house is not half hers - the lender will come after either or both of the joint owners but I'd bet they'd target the one with employment income rather than the one claiming benefits...

Obviously, the OP can't pay the mortgage and child support in full and has been given various options on how to deal with this.

It's a shame that as the relationship has broken down, it may be the case that the OPs ex will sabotage any option presented to her (selling the property, paying towards the mortgage, applying for SMI if she is eligible and so on), cutting her nose off to spite her face and speeding the path towards repossession, in order that she appears a martyr - my man has done me wrong, made my kids homeless, etc, when with a bit of cooperation, all parties could be saved from homelessness or financial ruin.

FBaby

You can as a single parent on IS get some payment help with the mortgage. I assume in joint ownership, it wouldn't be the full amount (interest only), but at least half of the interest.

What you need to do is tell her to apply for all the benefits she is entitled to (assuming youngest is under 5 and she can get IS), then tell her that she needs to contribute her half or you will apply to court for the house to be sold. If she still refuse, then apply to the court. Although judges are reluctant to demand th sell of a joint property when children are involved, they will still look at the whole picture. If she can get help with the mortgage repayment (ie, she gets IS and the rest), the judge is likely to consider that she is capable of paying and see it badly that she isn't. If she isn't eligible to IS, she will be expected to be working, therefore earning some money and therefore able to also contribute towards the mortgage.

I understand you are worried that your children could be made homeless, but this is highly unlikely to happen and you shouldn't hang on to this to be used by her to get all the mortgage paid by you + child maintenance + all the benefits she will be entitled to, ending up probably twice or not more better off than you.

dawn_rose

i dont see why you should be paying for the mortgage bills and child support on top. Dont they mean you should be paying child support and nothing else????? my friends oh pays her mortgage and thats it.

your partner should be able to claim single parents benefits to cover her own bills if she cant afford the mortgage and 900 a month sounds rather huge to me the option would be to sell up split any profit and she would have to rent. thems the brakes.

Marisco

dawn_rose wrote: »

i dont see why you should be paying for the mortgage bills and child support on top. Dont they mean you should be paying child support and nothing else????? my friends oh pays her mortgage and thats it.

your partner should be able to claim single parents benefits to cover her own bills if she cant afford the mortgage and 900 a month sounds rather huge to me the option would be to sell up split any profit and she would have to rent. thems the brakes.

No neither do I, or any right thinking person, but that is what some PWC's expect!! That is what my oh's ex expected, that he would pay the mortgage, her debts and CSA!!! She got a bloody shock though!!