I can't even afford my current situation let alone CSA payments

Squiffilect

I had to move out and leave my children with my ex. I wasn't happy about leaving them but I felt like it was the right thing to do as in my situation I can't have the kids live with me.

I am paying nearly £900pm on a mortgage on a house where I am not staying (she is there with the kids).

I take home just over £1500pm I am paying bills and a bit of housekeeping where I live which totals £550pm and that leaves me with £950pm. £900pm for the mortgage leaves me with £50pm.

The CSA do not take my travel to work expense into account. My commute costs me £300pm. That £300 + the £50 I sometimes have left = £350 and the CSA make the calculation on that. I can't afford the £268pm (£67pw) that the CSA require me to pay. I can't afford it by £218pm.

The CSA told me that I'd have to fault on the mortgage to make payments!!

The mortgage is already 2 months in arrears and I have just managed to control my finances enough to pay the mortgage and arrears. But I have been told that if 1 more mortgage payment is missed then the house will more than likely be auctioned by the mortgage lender to recoup the remainder of the mortgage.

If this happens my children are left up the creek without a paddle, especially with their unstable, selfish and sometimes suicidal mother.

I need to sell the house so I can either pay proper child support or better still get residency of the kids. She is 50/50 on the mortgage so I need her agreement to sell which sho won't give.

I need a court order to force the sale of the house but I fear they won't give it as it would make her "homeless" even though she has places to go, people to stay with.

I need all the advice I can get... I don't qualify for legal aid because the rules on legal aid are just as crazy as CSA rules.

Please help!

Darlyd

I am sorry I have no idea on the legal side of things.

BUT I would move back home, that way you will be better off until she agrees to sell. This in my eyes would be your cheapest option.

skintandscared_2

Why are you liable for the WHOLE mortgage on the house where your ex and children live? If it's a joint mortgage, she's liable for £450 of it.

Squiffilect

Unfortunately I can't move back... things are far too volatile.

She is doing all she can to hurt me, I've not seen my kids for 11 weeks this Friday.

I feel like I'm getting desperate. I don't know what to do

Squiffilect

@ skintandscared
She doesn't work and I'm paying the full amount because I'm keeping the kids housed.

annie1975_2

skintandscared wrote: »

Why are you liable for the WHOLE mortgage on the house where your ex and children live? If it's a joint mortgage, she's liable for £450 of it.

She is probably claiming benefits herself...It looks like whatever happens the house will have to go,I cant see any other way round it.
You cant survive on that amount.. I know I will get slated for saying this,but it makes you wonder why you should bother carry on working.

skintandscared_2

Squiffilect wrote: »

@ skintandscared
She doesn't work and I'm paying the full amount because I'm keeping the kids housed.

But she must have SOME income?! Benefits, whatever. She has a choice as far as I can see - contribute to the mortgage/bills or move out! You have no option but to sell if she doesn't - you just don't have enough to pay everything! If the CSA say you should reduce your mortgage payment by whatever their maintenance payment is, then do just that. Your ex will have to make up the shortfall in mortgage or get evicted, won't she.

Squiffilect

annie1975 wrote: »

She is probably claiming benefits herself...It looks like whatever happens the house will have to go,I cant see any other way round it.
You cant survive on that amount.. I know I will get slated for saying this,but it makes you wonder why you should bother carry on working.

Even the social worker said that maybe the best option is to not may the mortgage.

I just need someone to tell the ex that going ahead with the claim will cause the loss of the house.

So much is going in on and all I really want is to have the kids with me. She has never enjoyed being a parent and she is only doing all this to hurt me.

annie1975_2

If she is unstable and suicidal, are those children safe in that environment?

Squiffilect

annie1975 wrote: »

If she is unstable and suicidal, are those children safe in that environment?

No they ain't, the social services are doing all they can to improve things there but ideally they'd see the kids with me. But I can't have them until the house is sold.

clearingout

I am afraid you needed to have thought this through before leaving - if you genuinely believe that the children are at risk in some way, you should have taken them with you and applied for housing and child related benefits. As you have left, you have basically said it's OK and it's going to make it all the harder to deal with.

Have a look at the Families Need Father's website for some advice on contact with the children.

The CSA is right in that you have little option but to pay as they can arrange to have it taken direct from your wages regardless so you'll lose that money. Have you spoken to the mortgage company about going interest only? if you explain the situation, they give you a temporary reprieve on interest only whilst you use the court process to help you out.

Don't be a victim. Get information about your situation and act using the legal system. Comments along the lines of 'she's only doing it to hurt me' don't help, do they? They just serve to make you feel sorry for yourself and leave you in a helpless position without actually doing anything. So do something.