Positive actions will change my life!

40somethingmum

I should be happy but I’m not ..! I have a husband, 3 lovely kids , a dog , a home and a car . So why am I not happy ? I also have massive debts which provide me with tremendous amounts of stress and worry and totally take the shine out of my life . You’d think with so much debt that I would have a beautiful home , lots of lovely clothes and lots of luxurious holidays. Fraid not !

If the truth be known my house is a total tip. Every single room needs redecorating . We desperately need a new bathroom and a new kitchen . I never invite people to my home as I am too embarrassed and ashamed. We never have family holidays or days out as we simply can’t afford it.


I have had my LBM many times ! or so I thought . I realised that even if we can continue to manage to pay the minimum payments on our debts we would still be paying them off in 10 years. I am now 47 and my husband is 51. Enough is enough I can’t go on like this anymore. I am very low and have also recently lost my mum so everything seems so hard.

But from today I need to turn things round . I need to make positive steps every day to improve my life .


So lets start off with today’s positive actions :

1. Started this diary.
2. Paid £30 to HMRC
3. Paid £10 to DH’s credit card.
4. Paid £10 to Lloyds TSB credit card.

Not a lot but it’s a start .


40SMx

Crystalclear_2

Hi, I am in a similar position to you and you and your DH are the same ages as us. I have also started a diary this week, so maybe we can support each other. Well done on starting your diary, I feel more positive just getting it down and out of my head. Good luck with your journey.

budget_babe

40somethingmum wrote: »

I should be happy but I’m not ..! I have a husband, 3 lovely kids , a dog , a home and a car . So why am I not happy ? I also have massive debts which provide me with tremendous amounts of stress and worry and totally take the shine out of my life . You’d think with so much debt that I would have a beautiful home , lots of lovely clothes and lots of luxurious holidays. Fraid not !

If the truth be known my house is a total tip. Every single room needs redecorating . We desperately need a new bathroom and a new kitchen . I never invite people to my home as I am too embarrassed and ashamed. We never have family holidays or days out as we simply can’t afford it.


I have had my LBM many times ! or so I thought . I realised that even if we can continue to manage to pay the minimum payments on our debts we would still be paying them off in 10 years. I am now 47 and my husband is 51. Enough is enough I can’t go on like this anymore. I am very low and have also recently lost my mum so everything seems so hard.

But from today I need to turn things round . I need to make positive steps every day to improve my life .


So lets start off with today’s positive actions :

1. Started this diary.
2. Paid £30 to HMRC
3. Paid £10 to DH’s credit card.
4. Paid £10 to Lloyds TSB credit card.

Not a lot but it’s a start .


40SMx

Hello you :-)

Just browsing and caught your diary, get me on the button

So sorry to hear about your Mum its very sad. My father is in hospital at the moment he has bladder cancer, already has an operation which wasn't successful and then he's started chemo now, he will have to have his bladder out though.

We had to call 999 last week as he had chest pains etc, he is still in hospital but thankfully is looking better than he did. Though he has a long road to travel, he has also previously had bowel cancer.

So I took the decision to leave my job of 9 years to care for him, I finished 3 weeks ago, so I too am having to re-structure how we spend etc.

I feel sad to read how low you are feeling matey, but take heart many on here have turned things around and some of the success stories are truly inspiratonal.

Yes it can feel like its too high of a mountain to climb but it isn't just small things at first really add up. I think starting a diary too and posting what you have done will make a difference to you.

Chin up, I have read that many have pre-lbm but in the end the light gets switched on permanently and each day is a day forward to being debt free.

Baby steps as they say, and remember the tortoise and the hare, slowly slowly gets the result.

Big hugs and I hope your 3 DS are all doing well, my Ds is stopping off today on his way back home, he came home last week for his Grandads birthday.

Bless him I still do adore him so, he's now bought his first house down Sarf Oh and I met our Darling Jo last year too when I was down.

Lots of Budgie love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

40somethingmum

Crystalclear wrote: »

Hi, I am in a similar position to you and you and your DH are the same ages as us. I have also started a diary this week, so maybe we can support each other. Well done on starting your diary, I feel more positive just getting it down and out of my head. Good luck with your journey.

Hi Crystalclear.

It would be great for us to support each other . I will look out for your diary .

Love

40SMxx

40somethingmum

Budgie !! I can't tell you how much my heart soared when I saw your name on my diary . I have missed you. So sorry to hear about your dad and what a very brave decision it was for to leave your job to care for him.

My 3 DSs are all very well and are getting bigger by the minute . DS1 has just finished his first year at secondary school and as really settled in well there . You may remember that he is in the autisic spectrum and I was reaaly worried about him but the support he has had at his new school is fantastic.

How are things with you & DH now ? Are you still separated ?

Please continue to pop in and keep me company.

Love

40SMxx

budget_babe

40somethingmum wrote: »

Budgie !! I can't tell you how much my heart soared when I saw your name on my diary . I have missed you. So sorry to hear about your dad and what a very brave decision it was for to leave your job to care for him.

My 3 DSs are all very well and are getting bigger by the minute . DS1 has just finished his first year at secondary school and as really settled in well there . You may remember that he is in the autisic spectrum and I was reaaly worried about him but the support he has had at his new school is fantastic.

How are things with you & DH now ? Are you still separated ?

Please continue to pop in and keep me company.

Love

40SMxx

Glad to hear your Ds's are all doing well, of course I remember about the problems you had with your Ds but I think the last time we were on the same diary, you were getting him the help he needed, fantastic news.

Mr Budgie and I are fine thanks (touch wood), he has been working now for 20 months as a support worker for clients with learning difficulties.

As you know he was so depressed and I really was despairing over what to do. But we are fine and bless him he has been such a support with how Dad is.

So sorry to hear about your Mum I really am, with Dad being ill it has made me realise what is important in life.

It was not an easy decision to leave my job but it had changed so much and I was not feeling comfortable with what I was being asked to do. (Its the whole Budgie integrity thing again). But with my blood pressure I had to make the choice, but I can't tell you how grateful I am that I can give what time I need to, to my parents. (Mum has her own health problems too).

So I am on oldstyle but to be honest its gone by the by this last week, with Dad so ill etc.

If you are feeling crap about the house then join flylady, and decluttering. Also this meal planning is a money saver too.

Yes its funny isn't it that you had just posted and up I popped

Great to see you again so to speak, chin up and positive thinking is the way to go, it really is.

I shall pop in again for a cuppa and a progress report. Have you looked at doing a SOA, I've seen these on here and alot of seasoned debt freeers, can give tips on how to save money etc.

Big hugs
Budgie xxxxxx

40somethingmum

Budgie

I am so glad to hear about you and DH. I remember that when you separated it was not something that you wanted but had to due to his depression. Its also fantastic that DH has got a job and what worthwhile job that is . Good on him.

You mentioned the flylady thread . I actually joined it about 3 weeks ago but I get blues and stop posting and tidying !:( Will give it another go.

My mum's death has hit me really hard . You may remember that she was ill for a long time and I thought she was going to die on many occasions. Unfortunately when she did die it was totally unexpected as she had been doing really well. The hardest thing was not being there when she died . I had to travel up there on my own for the funeral and it was really hard.

Life will get better for us both

xx

Must go and make the boys lunch and then get on with some work . I mainly work from home now but can be easily distracted !!

40somethingmum

Boys now fed and lunch dishes all washed . I am just having a last cup of coffee and a skip around the diaries then I MUST get on with some work . I need to do around 8 hrs per day and its now 13.24 and I have done ZILCH

budget_babe

40somethingmum wrote: »

Boys now fed and lunch dishes all washed . I am just having a last cup of coffee and a skip around the diaries then I MUST get on with some work . I need to do around 8 hrs per day and its now 13.24 and I have done ZILCH

It must be extra difficult with the boys home 40sm, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself, as this will only make you feel worse.

So sorry to read how you had to go to your Mums funeral on your own, that must have been so very hard.

From Monday how about we do flylady together? I am hoping Dad will be out of hospital and I can get some routine going.

If we did it together then I am sure it will help, also have you looked at your grocery spending? I bet with 5 of you plus your Dog your spend must be very high. :eek:

Meal planning seems to be the way forward, though I am not in debt (touch wood) my income has considerably reduced so I am going to have to adopt mse policies.

Its facinating on here, some people "womble" I think thats picking up receipts from Asda and Tesco and then putting in the price check thingy?

I've also read about Tesco Jtd, but to be honest I was lost on that one.

There's a mine of information and with your 3 Ds's I am sure there are things that you can ebay, I have not ebayed yet but still many seem to do ok from it?

See its not all doom and gloom there are alot of things to get into and we can be money savers together.

Hope the work bit goes ok this afternoon matey, you take care and stay positive.

Budgie xxxxxxxx

40somethingmum

budget_babe wrote: »

From Monday how about we do flylady together? I am hoping Dad will be out of hospital and I can get some routine going.

If we did it together then I am sure it will help, also have you looked at your grocery spending? I bet with 5 of you plus your Dog your spend must be very high. :eek:

Budgie xxxxxxxx

You're on ! Its now turned really dark here and the heavens have opened up again Better turn some lights on !

budget_babe

40somethingmum wrote: »

You're on ! Its now turned really dark here and the heavens have opened up again Better turn some lights on !

Ahem, are you sure you need those lights on.

Good luck with getting your work done, I need to get off here too.

Budgie xxxxxxxxxxx