School looking to expel my son

alm721

Cassa wrote: »

Hi Pogster,

My son had to lose all break times and lunch times for 3 weeks, as I said. I'm not condoning his behaviour. If he had started the fight it would be a different matter, but he was defending himself - as boys who are coping with puberty and testosterone are prone to do.

QUOTE]

Are you certain that the other boy started the fight? or do you just have your sons word for it?, or did the other boy start the fight after being 'wound up' by your son. Just trying to play devils advocate here and not wanting to make you feel bad, but I think it is important to be as sure of your facts as you can be before speaking to the school (or at least aware that they may be a very different side to it). As it is so difficult to get an exclusion these days and as some other posters have said it affects the schools budget and exclusions have to be reported, A school will only exclude for either a very serious one off offence or a sustained serious of more minor offences.
If this latest incident was a playgound fight then it is extremely unlkily that they would be going for exclusion on the grounds of a one off serious offence and far more likely (as appears from your posts) that the threated exclsuion is because of persisent poor behaviour. If this is the case the school will have lots of documented evidence of your sons poor previous behaviour. I would suggest that you ask the school for any information that they have about your son. Has he been suspended before? and if so how many times? as this needs to occur before a school can think about a pemanent exclusion (excluding the extreme circumstances case).
As stated a school will not go down this route until all other avenues have been explored and provided you and your son are willing to comply then this can be stopped before it gets to exclusion point. The problem will be if you son persists in his poor behaiour and does not co-operate. How does he feel about the possiblilty of permanent exclusion? if he is against it then I think I'd encourage the school to tell him that it may happen and try and 'worry him' into towing the line. I hope this helps a bit, I think the important thing is to stay in touch with school and try and resolve the issue, in my opinion the school will be far less likely to try for an exclusion of they feel they have a supportive parent onside.

Cassa

[From the sounds of it the school has not got much of a discipline system going, and the headmaster does not command respect if any child (let alone yr 7) would throw pasta over the headmaster!]

Hi sticher, no I think that's part of the problem. No discipline at all. The pupils (not my son anymore thankfully) smoke on the school playing field - nobody cares.

Alm721, yes the school agree this other boy did start the fight. The full story:

This boy along with two of his friends 'ball-slapped' my son last Wednesday. And tried to intimidate him a couple of times.

This other boy asked my son for a fight on Friday morning and my son refused.
Some name calling ensued then this boy shouted in class he was going to fight my son at lunchtime.

This other boy's mum came to pick him up but I don't know if he was badly injured or not!! My son's knuckles are not bruised or grazed - so my thinking was it couldn't be that bad - but i could be wrong. My son has never been in trouble for anything other than laziness before (not doing schoolwork).

Thanks for your advice. I feel a little calmer about the situation now.

Blimey

Unfairly, the trouble in these situations is that your son isnt a model pupil.

Back when I was at secondary school (only a couple of years ago) I got on well academically and was in the top sets for subjects. When trouble arose, I got off lightly or scott-free (even if I had been a right nuisance) because my head of year and other teachers thought highly of me.

Unfortunately for your son, I expect a similar reasoning happens in the minds of his teachers. All I can suggest is that in future he keeps his head down and gets working.

alm721

Cassa wrote: »

[From the sounds of it the school has not got much of a discipline system going, and the headmaster does not command respect if any child (let alone yr 7) would throw pasta over the headmaster!]

Hi sticher, no I think that's part of the problem. No discipline at all. The pupils (not my son anymore thankfully) smoke on the school playing field - nobody cares.

Alm721, yes the school agree this other boy did start the fight. The full story:

This boy along with two of his friends 'ball-slapped' my son last Wednesday. And tried to intimidate him a couple of times.

This other boy asked my son for a fight on Friday morning and my son refused.
Some name calling ensued then this boy shouted in class he was going to fight my son at lunchtime.

This other boy's mum came to pick him up but I don't know if he was badly injured or not!! My son's knuckles are not bruised or grazed - so my thinking was it couldn't be that bad - but i could be wrong. My son has never been in trouble for anything other than laziness before (not doing schoolwork).

QUOTE]

In that case unless there is anything that you dont know about (unlikely) then they would have no grounds for a permanent exclusion and any head would be mad to even try! Personally I would ask the school what they intend to do about the fact that your son was attacked! A bit of lazyiness/daft behaviour even going off the rails a bit pretty much sums up most teenage boys at some point. Don't stress about this, Im sure it will all be fine and you sound like you're doing a good job with your son. IMO the problems start when parents don't care what their kids are doing, this clearly is'nt the case, Im sure things will work themselves out.
Regards

lesleystrawson

A few questions/thoughts...

Where is your son at the moment? Have they suspended him? i.e. is he at home? If he is suspended for 15 days or more in one term, a panel has to meet to decide what happens next. This does not necessarily mean permanent exclusion. He should NOT be at home unless you have received written notification of a temporary/permanent exclusion.

If the school do exclude him, there are certain procedures they need to follow, and informing you in writing of the EXACT reasons, by a certain deadline, is one of them.
You should make a serious effort to find out what has happened to the other boy, as the school has good grounds for a permanent exclusion if they feel he is a H&S risk to other children.

If you have any witnesses to the fight, get written statements from them, especially if it was self defence, as these can be used in defence of your son if a permanent exclusion is sought.

If this is an unjust measure by the school, do fight it, as you would be amazed how many parents do not even bother to turn up to many of these meetings!!

HTH

pogster

Hi Cassa,

It sounds as though you've done an excellent job at disciplining your son under circumstances in which he may well have simply been sticking up for himself. Writing letters to the boy concerned, groundings, weeks worth of detentions etc - great parenting. It maybe worth, as I said previously, that starting at a new school would not only send a message to your son but it would give him a new start.

I am a Teacher in a school and i would be EXTREMELY surprised if he was perm excluded. It is HIGHLY unlikely given the facts that you have presented. Managed moves to other schools are much more common and this happens only after Personal Support Plans, intervention from Learning Mentors, Home/School Contracts etc. Basically, the school has to show to the LEA that everything has been tried to overcome obstacles to the child's 'learning'.

Overall, I think you have taken the right path. Highlight to the school the steps you have taken, ask them the steps that they have taken re: personal support plans, learning mentors etc. BUT, I would recommend accepting the school's threat at face value and moving him. The school HAS to be seen to be protecting the fact that Teaching and Learning is the priority.

NB: I am not a parent (much more difficult than being a Teacher) :T

Cassa

Thanks to everyone who gave support & advice - it was really appreciated.
My son's father went to the school today as i was in a terrible state. They have no intention of permanently excluding my son (3 days only) - thank god. (Though why I was told this will need further investigastion!!)

I took my son to the doctors yesterday as he was a bordeline sufferer of ADHD when he was much younger, and this can affect concentration etc. So he is being refferred hopefully this will aid him at school. He was an excellent student until the onset of puberty.

Thanks again to you all.
XXXX

tesuhoha

I work in a school and every exclusion has to be reviewed by the governors. The child has to have a set number of exclusions before they go permanently. Dont know the exact number but is a lot. Even when they reach this number the whole thing has to be discussed at a Governors Disiplinary Meeting. The only other way a child can be excluded permanently is if they do something so bad that the school is left with no other alternative. A fight would not be enough. Any kind of serious unprovoked assault on another student/adult would warrant this, as would theft, brandishing a weapon, criminal activities outside school, taking drugs etc but then again every case is individual and sometimes there are mitigating circumstances. The school really does not want to permanently exclude pupils for their sake as much as anything.Students in my school have even been sent on study leave when they have been in danger of this.