Broken family relationships -so sad

PoorCharleyBear

without going into low levels of detail, a close relative phoned me crying about her life and how all that was stopping her was a loan to buy a house.
Cue me feeling cornered to offer a temp loan. As soon as she and her hubby had the money, they tried to change the repayment terms and surprisingly stop having much to do with me and my DH and DD. (previously were very close).

On FB (scourge) we see she has not worked in ages, but her H does..baby wears finest clothes, she has new v expensive car, improvements to her house etc. We are pressing for our money to be returned as it was due almost a year ago.

Of course this has meant that our relationship has broken. I feel really sad that money has come to this, but if someone can be so foul about a good will loan, and are happy to see us miss out, (we really need the money) it is not a relationship to maintain. There is a lot of mud slinging going on, and I am astonished that someone I knew so well and considered to be like a daughter, could turn out to be such a self centred and vindictive little moo.

I guess in years to come I will not even think of her, but right now it feels hard to let go and move forwards.

(If only I had read the loans section a couple of years ago, this might not be the situation now!)

BitterAndTwisted

Sounds like you're well rid. At least you won't get any more begging phone-calls and you'll save a little money over the years by not having to waste any more on cards and stamps.

I hope you've made it clear to other members of the family how shabbily they've behaved

moneypuddle

Sorry you've been treated this way. So I take it you're saying you've not had all/any of the money back yet? Did you put anything in writing at the time?

raven83

It's sad that money has come between you and said family member like this, but it is often the cause in causing fallings out like this. How much money are we talking? I think you should just have nothing to do with her (sometimes easier said than done I know), she sounds like a right cow, you did a lovely thing in lending her the money and this is how she treats you. She is the one who has lost out.

PoorCharleyBear

stupidly we had nothing formal in writing but I do have an email trail talking about the repayments and term of loan. It is far more then we can afford to lose (our house deposit not needed at the time) but I will never ever lend to anyone again. Give ? Yes. Lend? No.

Relative has shown herself up in her lowest light and is definitely not the person I thought I knew. (have known her since birth)

Such a sad end to a close relationship.

good_vibes

Hi huni, you don't need people in your life like that. She will be the person that has to live and learn from it in the end

emweaver

I would seek legal advice and pursue her for the money.

LisaLou1982

Have you tried pursuing through the small claims court?

Sorry to hear of your troubles OP - i too have recently come to see someone's true colours who i really cared about and it wasnt nice at all

woody2234

I expect they found out you had a large amount of money in a savings account and they thought " we can beg or blag them for the money say 30k and use it as a deposit to buy a house then we tell them we cannot pay them for a while" then they went shopping, new car new designer cloths, anyway did they buy a house or a sunseeker predator 130

Yorkie1

LisaLou1982 wrote: »

Have you tried pursuing through the small claims court?

Sorry to hear of your troubles OP - i too have recently come to see someone's true colours who i really cared about and it wasnt nice at all

I agree. If you think the relationship has definitely broken down, then you've nothing to lose (and the return of your money to gain) by going to court. Depending on the sums involved, the small claims court is very straightforward - no solicitors involved - and people on here can help you get the paperwork right (might be better going on one of the more technical boards for that, though).

Whilst you don't have a formal contract, you don't legally need one. The email trail can be used as evidence to demonstrate that there was an agreement to loan / repay.

12sapphire

I was tempted to say 'if you can afford to lose the money then walk away and learn from the experience.' However, thinking about it, why should you? This was clearly a loan, not a gift; you have emails to support this fact so maybe it's time you sought the advice of a solicitor.

Good luck!