How can i make naive friend see sense??

Errata

Keep your ears open and your mouth shut. She'll change when and if she wants to and your input won't make any difference, so save your breath. She knows full well what she's doing and what she should be doing if she had any sense.

diable

Leave her to it as it's not worth winding yourself up about it.

Jinx

There is nothing you can do........ My best friend has been seeing a guy on/off for 6 years, I've done the shoulder thing for her to cry on a number of times and I don't do it anymore (think I did it 3 times). Eventually I said I couldnt see her upset anymore and hear her say the same things anymore if she was going to keep going back to him! Needless to say they still fall in, bust up and now all her friends just accept it but dont pay any attention to it if you know what i mean....

Wickedkitten

euronorris wrote: »

I do wonder though, if part of her feels that she deserves this because of how she treated her last marriage (and husband). This is he 'punishment' for that. If she says anything along those lines, you can reassure her that is not the case, but even if it was hasn't she suffered enough?

This could be it. She's left her husband so this relationship has to work out otherwise she would have been throwing the other one away for nothing.

belfastgirl23

I don't think being naive is your friend's problem to be honest. At this stage she must know deep down that this man is not committed to her. The problem is that to leave him she has to admit quite how big a mistake she made in getting together with him. Fear of looking foolish is awful. And if all you're saying to her is that she is foolish, it sort of might not be helping (however right you are).

I'd be inclined to focus on building her self esteem. Make sure she knows she's smart/attractive/fun. Make it clear to her that it's her decision to stay. She has a choice and this is what she is choosing. Personally I'd be hammering this message home as much as possible.

I always presume in cases like this that the affair is an excuse to get out of a relationship that hasn't been working. Perhaps encourage her to think a bit about why she left her previous relationship - was it all because of the huge love with the new man or was it more to do with grasping a reason to get out? If she thinks a bit more about her own motivations it might help too.

Good luck, I don't envy you this one!