am I being harsh?

Crowqueen

Yes, that is the right way to do it.

Never, ever leave feedback in haste or in anger. It's not fair to make a seller's livelihood dependent on you having a good day. Any mistakes they make that put that in danger should be their own, not the result of someone else's problems.

Quite apart from such, as I said, it's going to get a lot easier to get unfair feedback removed, so don't put yourself in the firing line in case eBay start giving out policy violations. With a bit of luck, these reforms should mean that people start getting a bit more reasonable with each other and not make selling/buying on eBay into a battle of wits.

I know how you possibly feel, and I've definitely been there as a buyer, but I think there is a difference between someone who makes a voluntary refund, and someone who makes you go to dispute for it, which should be preserved quite rigorously.