I know this sounds awful, but can I get divorced

browneyedbazzi

Have a read of the information on the directgov site about divorce (the link above). It will explain how divorce works, who can petition for divorce, what it will cost etc. Reading the information on there will be a much quicker way of getting your answer than a drip feed of information and waiting for responses on this thread.

Mojisola

Have you looked on this website - https://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice/

There's nothing to stop you living separately and calling yourself whatever name you want to use right now. The divorce can come later.

The legal stuff will take some time but you can make the changes you want now.

dt3887

and no, IIRC, you cant use legal aid for divorce. either that or it is being brought in, but im sure it has already changed cos it had my ex worried.

When you apply for a divorce, you must show there are good reasons (known as supporting ‘facts’ to show ‘grounds’) for ending your marriage.
If you are the person starting the divorce process (known as the ‘petitioner’) you must decide which ‘facts’ apply to you and you want to use.
The divorce will be quicker and cheaper if you agree the ‘facts’ that you’re going to use.
If they don’t agree with your ‘facts’, your husband or wife can defend the divorce. If this happens, you both might have to go to a court hearing to discuss the reasons for the divorce and settle any disagreements.
There are five types of ‘facts’ that you can use in divorce proceedings.

1. Adultery


You can use adultery as a reason for divorce if all of the following apply:

• your husband or wife has had sex with someone else of the opposite sex
• you don’t want to carry on living together
• you decided not to continue living together within six months of the adultery happening or you finding out about it

Any sexual activity that you have been forced into, whether you are a man or a woman, is not adultery as you were not willing. Rape is therefore not adultery. Adultery is sexual activity with someone else that you choose.

To prove adultery, you will need to give the court:

• details of the adultery, for example when it happened
• statements from you and your husband or wife
• an admission of adultery from your husband or wife

If your husband or wife won’t admit to adultery, you might need to talk to a solicitor about what to do next.

2. Unreasonable behaviour

If your husband or wife behaves so badly that you can’t carry on living together you can use ‘unreasonable behaviour’ as a reason for divorce.

Your husband or wife could be showing unreasonable behaviour if they:

• are physically violent to you
• are verbally abusive to you, for example through insults or threats
• fail to provide affection or attention
• don’t let you leave the house
• give you reason to believe they are having an affair

You will need to provide proof of unreasonable behaviour. If your husband or wife won’t admit to it, you may need to provide detailed evidence, like statements from friends or doctors.
If there has been domestic violence in your relationship you can find out how to get help by following the link below.


3. Desertion

You can use ‘desertion’ as a reason for divorce if you can prove that your husband or wife has left you:

• without your agreement
• without a good reason
• for a period of more than two years in the last two and a half years
• with the aim of ‘deserting’ you (trying to end the relationship between you)

You can have lived together for up to a total of six months within this period and still claim desertion.


4. Living separately for more than two years with agreement on both sides

You can get a divorce if you and your husband or wife have lived apart for more than two years and both agree to divorce.
You can have lived together for up to a total of six months during this time if you have been apart for two years altogether.
Your husband or wife must agree in writing, so make sure you discuss it with them before filing for divorce.


5. Living separately for more than five years

If you and your husband or wife have lived apart for more than five years you can use this as a reason for divorce. If this has happened, you can apply for a divorce without your husband or wife’s agreement.
This will usually be enough to get a divorce. But your husband or wife can object if it will cause them ‘extreme’ difficulties - usually financial.

I would say 2 or 3 would be the better option for you.

the_pink_panther_2

I did my divorce myself. It cost me nothing, no court fees as it wasn't contested and nothing went to court. This though was a very straight-forward, uncontested divorce. Every situation is different, it depends on how complicated your situation is and to what extent you and OH are in agreement and how well you can compromise.

mumofjusttwo

I am presently going through a divorce and using legal aid but that does not mean I gt it free I have to pay a monthly amount but think it is cheap than some solicitors

Remember to get a clean break divorce otherwise if you win lottery 10 years after divorce ex can claim h is entitled.

Been trying to get divorced for 2 1/2 years!

mandragora_2

Find a good local solicitor, preferably one who is recommended by word of mouth, and who specialises in divorce - do you have any friends, colleagues or relatives who have been through a divorce - if so, who did they use, and would they recommend them? Once you've done that, ring up and ask for a free initial consultation - the standard seems to be between 30 mins to an hour. Prepare all the questions you want answers to before you go, don't waste a second of the time in there blubbing, and they will talk you through the process and options. It will help to clarify your thinking, for you, in your situation. Take a notepad, with the questions written down on it, and note the answers as you go.

duchy

Why can't you just pack a bag and leave the marital home ?
You could change your name tomorrow by deed poll or even common usage (both are legal) if you wanted to.

If there is property to be split that can be done later .........or are you just trying to shock him as you're annoyed how he treated your son ? It sounds awfully drastic for a one off incident...unless you're just looking for an excuse to divorce. (It appears you want a divorce but possibly not badly enough to leave the marital home ? Or am I reading that wrong?)