Going Solo after 25 years

lady1964

I have to comment that if someone is stashing that much in cash in the house, it isn't hidden as such. If someone wanted to hide that sort of money, they'd open an account and keep the bank card hidden......

You really need to have a proper, honest conversation about this subject and really listen to each other.

Bufger

You really do need a conversation.

Personally i'd go for a 50:50 on all accounts and the house but i'd keep the pension. Being a Stay At Home parent is really hard work when your kids are 0-4 there is no doubting its one of the hardest jobs going. After they are in school you effectively become a housekeeper and choose your hours of work or even if you want to work that day. Its almost semi retirement in my eyes.

You've worked full time and hard for your pension. As long as she has a reasonable existance in retirement (she wont have a mortgage so she should be able to set this up well enough!) then you're both doing well out of it.

pollypenny

Sounds to me as if OPs partner has felt the need for some financial security.

If she earned only £100 a month, she probably missed out on career opportunities when she was a SAHM.

To say she stole money is ludicrous. OP knew about it.

Vicky123

lady1964 wrote: »

I have to comment that if someone is stashing that much in cash in the house, it isn't hidden as such. If someone wanted to hide that sort of money, they'd open an account and keep the bank card hidden......

You really need to have a proper, honest conversation about this subject and really listen to each other.

OP has already said he spends, the amounts being discussed here are not squirelling away as most people understand, it's enough for her to run off should she want, the most telling thing is that he didn't notice this amount of money missing. What we know from OP is he spends and she saves, maybe she was just being sensible for the common good of both of them.

Own_My_Own

The op ( and everyone here) has no idea how long she has been saving this money. To say he didn't realise money was was going missing is rediculase. She could have been putting £20 a week away for years. It could be there for number of reasons.
If she had opened an account then bank statements would have come to the house. Maybe keeping it in cash is the only way she thinks she can keep it secret . In secret I mean from a partner who spends.

It may be for the son when he turns 21 for all anyone knows.

GoingSolo

pollypenny wrote: »

Sounds to me as if OPs partner has felt the need for some financial security.

If she earned only £100 a month, she probably missed out on career opportunities when she was a SAHM.

To say she stole money is ludicrous. OP knew about it.

£100 per week

OP didn't know about the savings until a few years back.

Just found another 21K stashed :mad: