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Am i hindering my partners gambling addiction?

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Comments

  • gamblerfeeder
    gamblerfeeder Posts: 5 Forumite
    edited 24 October 2012 at 2:12PM
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  • bluesnake
    bluesnake Posts: 1,460 Forumite
    edited 26 July 2012 at 7:53AM
    Hi, having had a parent as a gambler, and knowing another gambler's wife it is no fun.

    Money will always be tight for the majority of the time, even if you have £10,000,000 a month coming in. The lows outweigh the highs and not being able to give up. Doing something behind your partners back is another gamble. All a game. All the arguments a game.

    You need to take control of finances and relationship, because your are stronger and more sensible and if you do not lead, you become the proverbial cash cow being taken to a slow slaughter. As seen many times, soon as a board chooses an idiot of a CEO, the company and the CEO both suffer - Apple had this problem when Bill left.

    I would separate finances asap. Yes, I would leave, because if you can't work together, then you are not together. This is what the gamblers wife did, sort of. They have child together live in the same rented buildings, but in flats opposite each other, and if he does not pay his rent then it is his problem and he is homeless, without effecting her and the child. They are now friends with benefits(child minding), but not a couple, and it seems to work better for them that way.

    You have had 4 years, bet it is not getting any better and a good chance its getting worse, and when you earn £70k and have nothing to show except debt and probably loosing a house should tell you something. You should be able to predict you future by now.

    Put your impartial hat on, and read your post as if it was coming out of your best friends mouth, what honest advice would you tell her? Do yo think your friend sounds manipulated? You probably do know the best path for your child and yourself to travel.

    My mother was a gambler, and there were time I sometimes had to pay the bills. It ruled her life, and she ended up having no friends, never enjoyed herself and always chased that big win. Even after a 'big win' she wanted more. It drove a rift between us, especially when she was spending about £1500 a month, had no income and on the government basic pension of about £80 a week, and always broke. The weird thing is 10 years previous she ran a business and had no money or gambling problems.

    Reading, asking for help and joining groups is one thing, but the actual doing is the thing you want. Some people are just broken, can't and do not want to be helped.
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