Want to move in with partner but scared I'll lose housing benefit

margaretclare

OP, you have misunderstood at a very basic level and that is why other posters have reacted the way they have. You have misunderstood what benefits like HB are all about, for whom they are intended, and you have misunderstood what a joint relationship leading to marriage is all about in most people's understanding.

My eldest GD got a council flat because she was homeless. She wasn't earning £20K a year - she still isn't - but if she had been she'd have been expected to rent a flat/house in the private sector. She's paid rent and council tax all this time. From all I hear, it's a near-impossibility for a single guy to have any chance of council accommodation.

You mention 'with a view to marriage'. When DH and I were married we made a commitment to each other and that commitment was expressed in the words 'all that I am I give you, all that I have I share with you...' It goes against the spirit of that commitment to think of living apart for the purpose of claiming benefits. I think you have not understood what marriage is all about or what a joint relationship is all about and should think again.

Whoever posted that youtube clip, I don't understand it and I don't understand the comments appended to it, even without the foul language in which they were couched. I only speak basic English and don't comprehend some of the words used.

Metranil_Vavin

I doubt the OP will be back

OldMotherTucker

I'd advise the OP to be having sex with a more proactive person than she is now!

You'd be amazed what you can do on 20k pa - its a good life and I'm raising 3 teenagers on that. I paid off 10k worth of debt and saved 20K for my deposit on a house whilst I was earning less. - Yep- it's taken 12 years to be a home owner in my own right and I work a minimum of 50 hrs pw so any guy I'm with has to do that and more.

Where do you see yourself in a couple of years time Middymum? Dependant on the state or dependant on a man?

MiddyMum

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

I'd advise the OP to be having sex with a more proactive person than she is now!

You'd be amazed what you can do on 20k pa - its a good life and I'm raising 3 teenagers on that. I paid off 10k worth of debt and saved 20K for my deposit on a house whilst I was earning less. - Yep- it's taken 12 years to be a home owner in my own right and I work a minimum of 50 hrs pw so any guy I'm with has to do that and more.

Where do you see yourself in a couple of years time Middymum? Dependant on the state or dependant on a man?

Well dependant on the state, with about 6 kids for all different fathers of course.

OldMotherTucker

MiddyMum wrote: »

Well dependant on the state, with about 6 kids for all different fathers of course.

Yep - sounds like it!

Hoped the child you had now was worth a bit more than that:(

MiddyMum

Seriously, carry on hiding behind your computer screen with your vile, nasty words. Pathetic.

OldMotherTucker

How is that vile?

MacMickster

Surely most people plan their lives around relationships and work and then, if necessary, may have to claim benefits to help them get by.

The OP seems to want to plan her life around the benefits that she can get, with a relationship coming a poor second and work a distant third.

I'm not sure how it is in any way nasty to point out that she ought to re-examine her priorities.

margaretclare

I completely agree with MacMickster above.

OP, I am not 'hiding behind my keyboard'. If I spoke to you in the street I would say exactly the same. Of course, I grew up in a different time and place, and maybe - just maybe - my generation has nothing useful to say any more. I do know, however, that this was most definitely NOT what the architects of the Welfare State intended, that there should be a cold-blooded calculation of 'how can I keep my benefits and still have a sexual relationship with a new man?' Even worse, God save us, that advice about how to maximise access to those benefits and minimise any loss, should be asked for on a public forum, and that opinions which were asked for should be dismissed in such a cavalier and discourteous fashion

HB58

margaretclare wrote: »

I only speak basic English and don't comprehend some of the words used.

In that case, may I congratulate you on your articulate and well-written posts? I don't mean to be patronising - your use of English is exemplary.