Another question re friendships...would you be miffed?...

KateLiana27

There's nothing that annoys me more than being told what someone has said about me behind my back.

People change, opinions change. Why gratuitously hurt Friend B and ruin their friendship?

I'd arrange a meet-up (coffee, dinner, cinema, whatever) and invite them both along. Hopefully they will see what a good time the three of you can have together. And if they don't, oh well - cut your losses and get yourself some new friends.

cottonhead

This is exactly what happended to me ! I would have been the friend A though ! My best mate and I had a really close relatonship until she started hanging about with an other girl I didnt like. I wasnt jealous as such - just didnt like the other girl. She was a bit older and did things I didnt approve of such as drinking lots, stealing and also had an abortion. Just not someone I wanted to hang out with. Anyway I would make excused when my friend suggested we all went out together. Then when we were alone my friend would tell me stuff about the other girl ' dont tell anyone but....' that sort of thing. That then made me feel that she is probably doing the same in reverse if I ever confide in her. She started seeing more of the other girl and we grew apart and then when I got engaged we had a massive row and never saw each other again. I dont hate her and still have great memories of all the things we used to do. I feel sad in a way that I lost her but we had changed so much we just didnt get along like before and I accept that. Perhaps this is the same. You dont mention how old you are but I was in my early twenties when this happened and it was a timw when we moved onto different stages at different time. I wanted to settle down get married and have kids and she wanted to go partying and chase guys so we no longer had much in common. maybe its time to accept that you are both different and move on. I expect your friend feel uncomfortable too.

SandC

I too wouldn't have been trying so much to get the two of them together in group meetings but as you did it's actually shown that Friend A is what I would call, a bit flighty.

I would let it go, don't let things upset you, continue to spend time with Friend B and see how things go. You are obviously open and able to meet people and have friends with different interests and personalities so continue to live your life as you always have and more people will come into it and now you have a little more free time you may find another good friend comes into the fold.

Friends do come and go and like in relationships, often they change as life goes on and if they don't change in the same way as you then the friendship can end up dwindling. I am one of the camp who doesn't believe you should grimly hold onto something that clearly isn't there any more because of a sense of nostalgia over how close you were at one time.

thatgirlsam

Don't sweat it.. maybe friend A realised that her first impressions were wrong and once she got to know friend B better she liked her more.

Sounds normal to me!

Just be mates with everyone (that wants to be mates with you!)

BugglyB

SandC wrote: »

I too wouldn't have been trying so much to get the two of them together in group meetings but as you did it's actually shown that Friend A is what I would call, a bit flighty.

I would let it go, don't let things upset you, continue to spend time with Friend B and see how things go. You are obviously open and able to meet people and have friends with different interests and personalities so continue to live your life as you always have and more people will come into it and now you have a little more free time you may find another good friend comes into the fold.

Friends do come and go and like in relationships, often they change as life goes on and if they don't change in the same way as you then the friendship can end up dwindling. I am one of the camp who doesn't believe you should grimly hold onto something that clearly isn't there any more because of a sense of nostalgia over how close you were at one time.

This is totally right! friendships will come and go in life and the key to not ending up bitter and sad is to allow them to.

I do have instances where I invite various friends along to things with me who don't know each other. If people don't like it they dont have to come! That said the 'confiding in each other' time is always seperate from going to gigs time or going out for lunch time which as far as I'm concerned is a free for all invite.