How much cash is reasonable to give as wedding gift?

RuthnJasper

CL wrote: »

Nice. Being Irish and also having been married 7 years ago, I find this quite an unpleasant comment. I have been at dozens of Irish weddings and have never once been asked for cash. Although it is generally the done thing, so the couple can add people's presents together to buy bigger items. Often people have had a home of their own for a number of years and have the smaller items.

Any decent bride and groom will be grateful that you made the trip and will be happy with any amount. If you want to know what people usually give over here, then that's a different question.

Rather than the lovely description of "extremely materialistic", I would say I found all the guests at our wedding extremely generous. I was totally overwhelmed by their generosity and when I in turn attended their weddings, I tried to be equally generous. But any bride and groom who would judge someone or comment on the value of a gift isn't worth worrying about.

I agree.

The amount you (OP) suggest sounds perfectly acceptable. Maybe I'm just old-before-my-time or outdated (or both!) but I find the idea of cash gifts to be quite awkward. But if the bride and groom have asked for that, then I guess it's up to them.

Should I get married (if anyone would have me, hehe), I'd MUCH rather one of my friends just gave £1 or nothing at all if they had no spare cash, than put themselves in a bit of a financial predicament just in order to satisfy my whim. I think it's a bit different if a couple ask for donations to a charity instead of gifts/cash, but I'd be a quite embarrassed handing over a few "royal foils" by way of a present.

Hope you have a fantastic time at the wedding! Best wishes. xx

melanzana

Well here's something... Our Irish friends got married last year in Cork. They had been together for about ten years or so, and as they said themselves, they had everything they needed.

Their in invites said " no presents please, only your presence" which I thought was lovely.

In very small print at the bottom of the invite was a note to say that if anyone wantd to give a gift then donate to their charity (which is a penny dinner chrity for the homeless.)

claire16c

Wow after reading those posts glad I don't live in Ireland!

I think $40 is fine.

I give close friends about £50, so would be about $80, but for someone I didnt know as well/OH hadnt met etc, Id give about £25.

azzabazza

My son got married in Ireland three years ago and I can assure you that there was no materialistic thoughts at all. Both him and his wife were truly touched by those who travelled from the UK for the wedding and did not in any way look for wedding gifts, cash or otherwise. Just wanted people to share in their day.

My rule of thumb is £30.00 M&S gift tokens for my daughter's or son's long term friends wedding gifts (wedding invitation or not). More for close family members - usually a cheque. I do not like being asked directly for money gifts.

maman

bright_side wrote: »

I'm not really in favour of people asking for money either. Having said that my dd recently received a wedding invitation, with a little poem stating that they already have 'this, that and the other', so if anyone wants to give anything then cash would be useful, however what they really want is for their guests to enjoy the day with them. I thought that rather sweet, plus they included a tiny envelope with the invitation for anyone insisting on giving, which would mean anything that's given wouldn't have a name to it - unless you particularly wanted it to. I think that would remove any guilty feelings of not being able to afford much :T

Isn't that strange. I find those poems really tacky and twee but perhaps you have better poets in your neck of the woods!:D

I like the idea of the anonymous envelope and I like the idea of donating to a charity even more.

I think perhaps if people already have a home maybe they don't need presents....or an expensive wedding?;)

thegirlintheattic

I'm only giving £25 for a wedding next weekend. Even though it's relatively local it's all I can afford.

azzabazza

I should reiterate that I give cash or gift vouchers because all who I know getting married have lived together for years and at least M&S vouchers will buy a couple of meal deals!!!!!!!! Or the new grundies!!!!!!

nuttywoman

A relative`s wedding a couple of years ago i gave £20 and a neighbours wedding in May i gave them £10 and was most surprised there was no buffet etc laid on at night , did`nt bother me because weddings are expensive , just surprised.

alyssajones37

My partner and I were invited to a close friends wedding and they requested cash not things.... being time rich and money poor, we folded a note into a heart shape...

(new user so I can't link but just google 'dollar bill origami heart')

Recieved a heartfelt thankyou and a letter to say they didn't want to unfold it and spend it but rather keep it.

suki1001

I think asking for cash is a good idea, most people I know who've done it use it towards the honeymoon and I'd rather they did that, than had stuff they didn't need. Long gone are the days when people were setting up home together. Personally I don't like wedding lists. In many countries money is given a presents.

My dad recently got married and asked for either money for his sofa recovering or to go to a specific charity. He's not loaded and it does need recovering - it was something they really need, so I'm not quite sure why it would be vulgar.

Anyway op - gripe over.
If it's any consolation, they probably won't notice. Once after spending money on new outfits and a hotel, I couldn't afford to give any money or a gift, I still got a note saying thank you for the money - so they just didn't notice. I think the amount you mentioned is fine. I don't think they would be offended if you didn't give them anything.