How much cash is reasonable to give as wedding gift?

Lunar_Eclipse

I don't really agree with cash requests for gifts and even went off piste for my own sister when she did this. However, if I went down the cash route, I'd say $50-100 from a couple, but whatever you can afford will be much appreciated by a good friend.

Also, presence beats presents.

rollnchips

How rude asking for money!
Surely being there, at such an expense is enough? You have already paid a fair bit on the flights, don't bother with any gift.

pinkclouds

moneypuddle wrote: »

I'm wondered how much is reasonable to give. I was think $30 but dont know if thats seems a bit stingey. We just dont have a lot of spare cash at the minute.

Whatever you can afford and are willing to give! There is no rule that you must bankrupt yourself to give a wedding gift!!

Tropez

Personally, I'd probably try and round it up to 50 dollars but if they're friends they'll understand whatever you can give.

I don't really see it as rude asking for money.

maman

gingin wrote: »

Eugh, I really dislike people asking for cash for that reason and more but $30 sounds fine.

I agree with giving whatever you can reasonably afford.

I do understand that no one want loads of household stuff after they've perhaps already got one or two equipped homes already. We have two current invitations and they've used the same local printer for the cards. It has this ghastly, twee poem inside about not wanting toasters and wanting cash (or words to that effect).

It's not that I mind, in fact I'd hate to give or receive some old tat, but that's my choice surely.

GracieP

Personally I think you should give what you can afford however, if one or both of the couple are Irish, it's only fair to warn you that unfortunately an awful lot of weddings are still extremely materialistic in Ireland and about €150-200+ (£120-160) per couple is the standard gift there. Some people are actually ill-mannered enough to ask for a minimum cash amount from guests, often around €150pp, on their invitations. Though that will usually result in a lot of refused invites and ended friendships.

You could be absolutely fine. Plenty of people are sensible and appreciate your presence more than anything, especially when they know you are travelling and taking time off work, and will be extremely grateful for even a card with a nice message in it. However others still have very Celtic Tiger expectations of what their wedding should be like and have weddings they can't afford expecting cash gifts to pay for it. (This was actually the advice regularly given to engaged couples on TV by the man who is basically Ireland's answer to Martin Lewis, or at least he would be if he didn't give appalling advice.)

Only you can guess what your friends' expectations might be like. If they are decent people they will appreciate that you have made the effort to be with them on the day and be extremely grateful for whatever you give them. But if they are the type to be overly influenced by materialistic hype you may find that they are annoyed that you didn't 'cover the cost of your dinner and top it up with an actual gift' which has become a common mindset in the last decade.

Jinx

I usually give 50 quid, so Id prob change that to USD.

bright_side

I'm not really in favour of people asking for money either. Having said that my dd recently received a wedding invitation, with a little poem stating that they already have 'this, that and the other', so if anyone wants to give anything then cash would be useful, however what they really want is for their guests to enjoy the day with them. I thought that rather sweet, plus they included a tiny envelope with the invitation for anyone insisting on giving, which would mean anything that's given wouldn't have a name to it - unless you particularly wanted it to. I think that would remove any guilty feelings of not being able to afford much :T

CL

GracieP wrote: »

Personally I think you should give what you can afford however, if one or both of the couple are Irish, it's only fair to warn you that unfortunately an awful lot of weddings are still extremely materialistic in Ireland and about €150-200+ (£120-160) per couple is the standard gift there. Some people are actually ill-mannered enough to ask for a minimum cash amount from guests, often around €150pp, on their invitations. Though that will usually result in a lot of refused invites and ended friendships.

Nice. Being Irish and also having been married 7 years ago, I find this quite an unpleasant comment. I have been at dozens of Irish weddings and have never once been asked for cash. Although it is generally the done thing, so the couple can add people's presents together to buy bigger items. Often people have had a home of their own for a number of years and have the smaller items.

Any decent bride and groom will be grateful that you made the trip and will be happy with any amount. If you want to know what people usually give over here, then that's a different question.

Rather than the lovely description of "extremely materialistic", I would say I found all the guests at our wedding extremely generous. I was totally overwhelmed by their generosity and when I in turn attended their weddings, I tried to be equally generous. But any bride and groom who would judge someone or comment on the value of a gift isn't worth worrying about.

GracieP

I'm Irish too. I live here and this is absolutely standard for an awful lot of weddings here. I'd say you've been lucky or more accurately that your friends and family are nice, level-headed people but I have experienced exactly what I'm talking about a lot. But even outside of the materialism that too mant people display the fact is that the average cash gift given at Irish weddings is very high compared to the average in the UK. Just on the first page alone of the weddings forum on boards.ie there are 3 threads that show exactly what I'm talking about. There is a very common assumption that guests should be covering their costs at the meal and then adding some more as an actual gift. It's not something everyone will expect but more people than you'd think still feel that way.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056697425
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056690319
And my personal favourite; Wedding parasites: well-off guests who give no presents
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056703134