alittle worried

susieanne

My daughter is now coming to the end of her first year of high school and she hasnt made many new friends i thought by now she would have found her set of friends that she would stay with all the way through high school . She has slept at a few peoples houses a couple of times and been out at weekends a couple of times with different groups of girls but shes not really fitting in to any group so most weekends shes sat at home alone . I would have thought that by the end of first year at high school , so shes been there 12 months she would of found who her friends are . She has two older sisters and im trying to think back to there first year at high school and im sure they was out every night with a solid group of friends .

j.e.j.

Does she seem happy? Could it just be that she's not into the things teenage girls are typically into and has more of her own interests?

amyloofoo

Everyone's different - if she's been out a few times then she clearly has friends... maybe she'd rather socialise at school and spend her other time on different interests? Does she have any other hobbies, etc?

partialycloudy

I was very much the same! Spent most weekends, school holidays etc at home. I had friends i would spend time with at school, but for whatever reason it didn't go past the school gate.
I did go through bad a time because of it when I hit my late teens, as I thought there was something wrong with me! I still find it hard to make friends now, but I do think it is all down to my own confidence issues.
Is she involved in other social activities out side of school?
I think if your daughter is happy on her own then she should be fine, it could only become an issue if she makes it an issue, if you know what I mean.
I'm now 27 and happily married and I have a handful of friends I can rely on which is all i need! I don't speak to anyone I went to school with, and personally think I am better for it.
All the best x

balletshoes

I still think it might be too soon, and your DD might well find her "niche" of friends once she's at the GCSE choices/even later stage.

FWIW, even though I had mates I hung around with at secondary school, they weren't always the same set of mates through the years, and I met my best friends of 25 years plus now after I left school and started work.

If she has friends, and she seems happy enough at school, then I'd say its nothing to worry about.

funnythings

Why not ask your daughter if she would like to invite some friends round for there tea or a sleepover or a girlynight for the evening.

then perhaps this will give her alittle push in right direction.

every child is different and if she is happy with her own company then it is really ok.

Have you asked her about it? is she happy?

Also at this age being the start of her teens can be difficult time also.

there could be so many reasons why or no reasons at all.

talk to her x

Hezzawithkids

Don't worry about it, my DD went through exactly the same thing. It seems to be worse for girls because they can be so !!!!!y and clique-ey at that age. There were only 2 other kids from my DD's class at primary school that went to the same senior school as her so she thought they'd stick together but that wasn't the case. She struggled to make friends for at least a couple of years, made some very iff-ey choices along the way but by the third year she'd settled down and now has a lovely set of friends, both boys and girls.

All you can do is be there for your DD and support her should she ever get upset about it. There have been other threads on the site that have discussed this topic, its more common than you might think.

Good luck!

cottonhead

I was the same right up until I left school. I spent 99% of my time at home with family or messing about with horses. I didnt have many friends - maybe 3 close friends and sometimes we would meet to go for a walk or a chat at each others houses but we never went out so to speak. Not until we went to college. I would be happy that she is at home. Better that you know she is safe and not hanging about with dodgy people. So long as she is happy thats the main thing.

Stephb1986_2

I don't think it's unusual some girls find it harder to make friends than other girls I was the same still am now.

As long as she's happy that's the main thing

Steph xx

susieanne

Thanks for your replys , i think she is happy enough when shes at school but i know come evenings & weekends she would like to have a group of friends like everyone else who she could hang out with . She tells me her worries sometimes but other times she says i annoy her , because i keep trying to push her into making friends and going out so im just going to leave her for the time being . Her elder sister told me that she had told her when asked was everything ok with school she said she feels kinda in the middle of the geeks & the cool girls who have boyfriends but shes neither . Shes not a geek & she doesnt want a boyfriend just yet so she doesnt know who to hang with .

funnythings

susieanne wrote: »

Thanks for your replys , i think she is happy enough when shes at school but i know come evenings & weekends she would like to have a group of friends like everyone else who she could hang out with . She tells me her worries sometimes but other times she says i annoy her , because i keep trying to push her into making friends and going out so im just going to leave her for the time being . Her elder sister told me that she had told her when asked was everything ok with school she said she feels kinda in the middle of the geeks & the cool girls who have boyfriends but shes neither . Shes not a geek & she doesnt want a boyfriend just yet so she doesnt know who to hang with .

Too old for toys too young for boys!

Give her space try not to push it but see what she says about inviting people over.

or what about after school clubs or other classes at weekends.

i know money can be tight, see if there is a class or something that she maybe into.

My daughter loved dancing and still does she spent many hours learning new routines in her bedroom etc.

You do not want to get to the stage that she stops talking to you altogether because she is being pushed.

just Let her know your there for her if and when she needs you
x