Ethics: I want to buy soon, girlfriend unwilling

property.advert

You buy, she rents from you, but only after both have seen their own lawyer to refute any potential claim from here down the line. She needs to sign away all interest, current and future.

I promise you that if you add her name to the deeds and you break up, you will forever regret being so stupidly generous and being forced to hand over cash which she has not earned and would never have earned if she had not been riding your coattails.

I was legally advised one thing but felt a pang of "doing the right thing" which cost me more than a lottery win and more importantly, it cost me control over my own destiny as she could block any sale or refinancing.

Sharon87

I would suggest first see how you get on living with her, that is the biggest test of any relationship. And know that you can't always plan these things so far in advance. Yes you're interested in purchasing a property, but so do other people who can't due to their own reasons, mostly being financial.

You could buy a place, if you could afford it on your own. Your girlfriend moves in with you, doesn't pay rent, as you shouldn't charge your girlfriend rent on a place you own, but split the bills and food shopping, and as someone else suggest she can use what money she saved on rent as savings that can either put towards the house if you end up getting married and getting her name on the deeds, or other things if you do split up.

But don't be too hasty. You're only just moving in together, I bet all this talk of buying a house might be scary for her. How long have you been together? It sounds like it's a fairly new relationship, if that's the case, wait a while before big commitments.

Running_Horse

Sounds like you need relationship advice more than property advice.

Does she know you are talking about your relationship on a forum?

silvercar

I'm about to rent a flat, which shortly after my girlfriend will move into and pay half rent.

In a year or so, I'm keen to move out of the flat, and invest in buying a property. She isn't in such a good financial position, and in any case is unwilling to commit to owning something very soon.

Rent and let her move in.

In a year's time you can decide where you are at in your relationship.

amcluesent

Just make sure you make a video of her signing any papers so she can't claim 'duress' at a later date.

Anyhow she can easily 'fall' preggers and trap you that way.

Good luck!

Hooloovoo

When I was in this situation I went for option 1.

It's all very good being romantic, but when you've got a huge deposit ready for a house due to dedicated saving and hard work, and she hasn't got a pot to pi$$ in (excuse the financial jargon) what exactly are you supposed to do?

Those with rose-tinted glasses will say the answer is buy the house together and sign over half your life savings. But that's not really very practical for those of us who choose "realist" as a life view, now is it?

So she lives here rent free, and as has been suggested by a couple of other forum members since her outgoings are tiny compared with what they could be she has the ability to make massive contributions to savings accounts.

Our joint monthly bills (including everything but food) come to only £200. So that's £100 each. She saves the best part of £1k a month. In around 8 years she'll have £100k in the bank and, assuming the relationship it still going strong, we can look at getting a place together jointly.

Works for us anyway.

seven-day-weekend

My son has bought a flat and his girlfriend lives with him. They pay half each into an account with his name on (not hers), this pays the mortgage, service charge and bills.

It is a lesser amount than she would have to pay if she rented the flat herself.

Hooloovoo

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

My son has bought a flat and his girlfriend lives with him. They pay half each into an account with his name on (not hers), this pays the mortgage, service charge and bills.

It is a lesser amount than she would have to pay if she rented the flat herself.

He needs to be careful there. If it appears that she is contributing to the mortgage (and from what you have described, it does) then she will have a claim on the flat regardless of whos name is on the accounts.

InMyDreams

Hooloovoo wrote: »

He needs to be careful there. If it appears that she is contributing to the mortgage (and from what you have described, it does) then she will have a claim on the flat regardless of whos name is on the accounts.

And so she has and should! It's all very nice saying that she's paying less than she would be renting by herself, but he's also paying considerable less than he would if he was living alone.

If they split, she walks away with nothing but the fact she's paid a little less rent over the last x years. He walks away with both having paid less over the same time-frame *and* all the equity she's pumped into the house for him. He's really got his cake and eating it there. She is a fool (unless she can claim some equity back too).

InMyDreams

Hooloovoo wrote: »

Our joint monthly bills (including everything but food) come to only £200. So that's £100 each. She saves the best part of £1k a month. In around 8 years she'll have £100k in the bank and, assuming the relationship it still going strong, we can look at getting a place together jointly.

Works for us anyway.

I think this is excellent. It's effectively what she would have been contributing to the equity anyway, so she gets it back. Seems fair. (Actually a bit less as the interest she'll get is less than what would have been saved if it was put in the mortgage.) It just keeps everything clean and separate until such a time you decide you are a single unit through marriage, kids, whatever.

The disparity comes with the risk... if house prices were to shoot up, she wouldn't see any extra return. But then if they were to plummet, she wouldn't lose out either. But then my guess is she wasn't in a position to be taking those risks with her money anyway, otherwise she would have been buying herself.