Getting time off work for my wedding

katie1812

Feeling a bit fed up today...

Basically we booked our wedding last May, when I was still at uni and not knowing what I would be doing after I left. We booked our wedding for September the 8th.

Then in June I got a job in a school as a teaching assistant to build up my experience before I eventually do my teacher training.

I have always been honest and open about my wedding being in school time. It turns out it is the first weekend when we go back which is very unfortunate!

So before Christmas I spoke to the head teacher about it and she said it would be fine to have time off... She obviously wouldn't ok holidays but weddings and funerals she understands about. So last week I thought I'd better actually sort it seeing as we break up next week! And so asked the Friday before off and the Monday after. And the response I got? "I'll have to think about it" I could have cried. I realise that it's inconvenient, and a nuisance but I want two days off for my own wedding. Due to funding cuts, TAs are only going to be assigned to classrooms in the morning and will be doing other thins in the afternoons. I am with a new teacher who obviously doesn't know the children, whereas I do but they are year 5 and 6, they have been at the school for years and aren't really going to be 'settling in'

So I tried to speak to the head today as it is really really bugging me and starting to stress me out, but she was never in her office when I went there! So tomorrow I'm not leaving until I have spoken to her.

Just wondering if anyone had any tips. I'm going to be honest anyway and say that on the Friday it's mainly the afternoon as I have stuff to get ready as I'm not staying at my house the night before, and on the Monday we were hoping to go and lay flowers on relatives graves which is something we want to do together and needs to be done then before the flowers die!

I don't want to get !!!!!y but there are some people who take the mick about working. They very rarely do a full week and their reasons are dreadful yet other staff think the sun shines out of their backsides! I have had two days off this year - both for funerals. Regardless of how bad I've felt when ill I have ALWAYS gone in.

Hopefully I just caught her on a bad day and tomorrow she will see it from my point of view. Please make me feel more positive people!

shellsuit

Just remind her that before Christmas she said it would be fine to have the time off.

You're not lying or taking the micky, you're getting married and if it's not now OK in her eyes for you to have the time off, then it's upto her to sort something out, seeing as she'd OK'd it back then.

Good Luck, I hope she sees sense!

MrsDrink

It is a shame you didn't get it in writing back before Christmas But hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I am a teacher, and I am getting married during the week during term time. BUT I've got ONE day off (the actual wedding day) UNPAID. We wanted the date because it is the same date as we met 13 years ago. Because it's my own wedding, and therefore I can choose to have it whenever I want it, they wouldn't pay me. (If it was my daughter's wedding I could have had it off paid as compassionate leave).

Did you mention needing the time off at your interview? When you checked at Christmas did you discuss the specific days you want off, and say you wanted two days off? The biggest problem you will have is your wedding day actually isn't on a work day, it's on the Saturday. While you may like to have the day before off, and two days after it off, I'm not sure I would give it to be honest. You *could* reorganise things so you don't 'need' the days off. Could you visit the grave on the Sunday? What things will need doing on the Friday requiring a day off could they be done at night in the days leading up to the ceremony? That being said I hope she honors her promise for you (but bewarned it may be unpaid).

daisiegg

You work in a school, your wedding is on a weekend, to be blunt (sorry) I don't see why they would give you the Friday and Monday off. If your wedding was on a weekday and ou booked it before you got the job and you told them before you took the job, that would be fair enough. But as it's not, I'm not sure you have much of a leg to stand on. I'm not meaning to be horrid at all but from the head's perspective, it sets a bit of a precedent for others who want a long weekend...

MrsDrink, you were lucky to swing that one! my head would laugh in my face!

MrsDrink

I do have a wonderful head
(It is also slightly different for me as I'm not a Teacher based in a school).

katie1812

I do get all of what you have all said. We had arranged to see some family on the Friday and as I'm not staying at mine I would need to come home to collect everything, which takes about forty mins and then another forty mins to my mums. I know it's not miles but it's an inconvenience. With other people she is very understanding for other events, and for a relatives wedding a colleague was given three days off.

Guess I'll just have to wait and see. Just a bit annoying as its a time I want to spend with my fianc! and might not be able to!

bubbles0169

You will have the rest of your life to spend with your h2b and the school holidays, if she doesn't give it you ask why so and so got the days of, they may have made the time up some how and unfortunately it seems to be the more you do for certain people/companies the less thanks you get!

Poppy9

I think you are pushing your luck asking for 2 days and you need to think which day is more important to you to have off.

It's unfortunate that the date you booked clashes with your work commitments but if you were planning on going into teaching didn't you realise it may have been a bit of a problem?

I work public sector and have noticed over the years the employer getting less flexible in granting leave and restrict you to when it's convenient for them.

daisiegg

MrsDrink wrote: »

I do have a wonderful head
(It is also slightly different for me as I'm not a Teacher based in a school).

Ah right, intriguing

floss2

katie1812 wrote: »

... I am with a new teacher who obviously doesn't know the children, whereas I do but they are year 5 and 6, they have been at the school for years and aren't really going to be 'settling in'...

The children & new teacher will be settling into each other, not the school....

katie1812 wrote: »

...on the Monday we were hoping to go and lay flowers on relatives graves which is something we want to do together and needs to be done then before the flowers die!

Can't you do this on the Sunday? I did - we stopped to lay my bouquet where my parents' ashes are scattered before we drove off on our honeymoon.

katie1812 wrote: »

...... but it's an inconvenience. With other people she is very understanding for other events, and for a relatives wedding a colleague was given three days off.

This is probably what your head thinks and your colleague may have been at the school for years and have had the date booked for a long time - while you don't appear to have actually confirmed in writing that you can have the day off since you started there last June. Whe we booked our wedding, the time off work was the first thing DH & I confirmed once we had the date. Also, your colleague's 3 days off may not have been at the start of the shool year, which as anyone who has missed the first few days of school knows, is an important time to make bonds.

Meadows

Always best when staring a new job to get a written agreement for planned holiday/events etc, even though you raised this at the interview and got a verbal okay.

All you can do is remind her of the agreement (if I read your message correctly though did you actually state the dates at the interview in June or just ask prior to Christmas, or was the Christmas conversation a reminder of dates mentioned at the interview?).