Preparedness for when

daz378

these days would prefer the camping option, dont really drink much these days , only friends birthdays when i feel obligated, my mates family suggested royal palm apartments los christianos because they have used them before for the 10 days apartment would have been less than 300 each the flight 350 each and spends food and transfers .... i actually prefer nipping to germany for a few days and use toytown germany to meet locals and expats in regular meet ups...... not sure i could manage 10 days of partying now:)

Frugalsod

daz378 wrote: »

these days would prefer the camping option, dont really drink much these days , only friends birthdays when i feel obligated, my mates family suggested royal palm apartments los christianos because they have used them before for the 10 days apartment would have been less than 300 each the flight 350 each and spends food and transfers .... i actually prefer nipping to germany for a few days and use toytown germany to meet locals and expats in regular meet ups...... not sure i could manage 10 days of partying now:)

Well there are much cheaper options.

Airbnb for say 6 people is from £259 per week for all of you.

I found Flights from Manchester to Tenerife for £95 plus taxes each. I found these on https://www.skyscanner.net

Plenty of camp sites on Tenerife. Going out of season will be quieter and cheaper.

http://www.tenerifehiking.com/camping-in-tenerife/

Hire of a people carrier for a week with 9 seats £280, though you could get two 5 seater cars for £95 a week each.

Obviously meals and drinks on top but Spain is cheap right now.

[Deleted User]

It is nice to have a group of friends that don`t exhaust me and are here to talk to without wanting all the ins and outs

I am so shattered now, there is no break from talking and things to do. It is so so tiring, there is seemingly no end to paperwork and arrangements

Family are so supportive but how on earth can I say, please don`t come to stay yet another night and especially with a child. I haven`t had any space to myself yet, only at night in my bed and then I cannot sleep. Loving phone calls from lots of people and from abroad, how could I not talk to them when all I want to do is have some time to think

People from clubs, people from past work. village people, lots of family people and so on. Each one wants to talk. Lots and lots of them but only one of me

My children are shielding me as much as they can but there is helping and there is overhelping, they are all superb but one sonil, the best for organising stuff, is like an umbrella parent just now. I can`t say anything because they are all acting with so much love but I wish the chatter and talking noise would stop

The church and crem ceremonies are out of my hands, the crem is quieter and lovely, the church will be a celebration with the type of music he liked and the children like. The children are organising all of it, all I do is agree. I think I have to switch off from that, it will be lovely. I can`t help, my brain is addled. They need to do their bit, I know

Book on the way from amazon, something to help teach me how to be a widow. I`ll cope, once the whirlwind is over

Thanks for being here in silence

kezlou

Please accept my sincerest and heartfelt condolences Kittie.
Losing a loved one is one the hardest things to bear, but just remember they are always with you. Your husband and yourself led such a fantastic life and spent your days in the best possible way together and loved.

Soon everything will calm down and soon the noise will drop so you can take the time to relax.
Lit a candle for you both.

[Deleted User]

kezlou wrote: »

Please accept my sincerest and heartfelt condolences Kittie.
Losing a loved one is one the hardest things to bear, but just remember they are always with you. Your husband and yourself led such a fantastic life and spent your days in the best possible way together and loved.

Soon everything will calm down and soon the noise will drop so you can take the time to relax.
Lit a candle for you both.

Thank you, I can`t stop sobbin now. The first time. I am so wracked with it, my body is heaving

God help me, I hope it gets better

[Deleted User]

kittie wrote: »

God help me, I hope it gets better

It does eventually.

Take care.

[Deleted User]

We have snow up here.

A dusting over night, and now it's snowing quite heavily.

Broomstick

I'd taken a little break from posting on the forums but, Kittie, I wanted to send you a quiet, caring hug from me as well.

B x

fuddle

We need to grieve in order to carry on carrying on don't we? I have seen what happens to adults who don't allow themselves to go through that process correctly, who take their own path, who make other choices in order to cope... your words, your obvious pain is healthy to you. You will be able to smile with your memories, just not yet. You will stop feeling this pain. It will turn into fondness once again.

I remember when my dad died our house was full of people from our extended family. People whom I didn't really see much, didn't particularly like or appreciated their lack of rapport with me. But at my most horrendous time of my ten years I was forced to live with these know-it-alls, in my home. Everyone rallied round my mam but I remember being an onlooker. I was trapped in a situation that didn't afford me to grieve like I should and I was in limbo. Thinking back to those images in my head I can't bring any emotion associated with them. Your company, and I know you adore them, are a massive help at the moment but you need to go through the process that your mind wants to take you on, needs to take you on, in order to reach acceptance, in a crude way or in a way that speaks to you and I, to live with a fondness. I wish for your journey to be speedy so you can gain strength to be you, the unbelievable woman that you are but who has an aura that exudes the life you shared with your man. May that fondness, those memories, continue to be the force that pushes you to be determined and successful kittie.

Nargleblast

kittie the period between someone dying and the funeral is like a sort of limbo. The rest of the world carries on turning on its axis, yet part of you might be silently screaming that you've lost your beloved so why doesn't everything stop? You say the funeral arrangements are out of your hands, well perhaps you could think of a little something, piece of music, a poem or whatever, that you could insist goes into the service. That way you will claim a little of it back for yourself.

As far as not being left alone is concerned I am sure you know it is because they all love you. However, once the funeral is over people will start to drift away again. Maybe you could now start to insist on having short periods on your own, tell them firmly that you have to adjust to being alone and want some time to think? I know when you are overwhelmed with what has happened it is easier let others take over, but a little gentle, calm assertiveness may be called for. At least some tears have started flowing, there will be more I am sure, but all to the good. One step at a time, kittie, no matter how small.