Preparedness for when

GreyQueen

Wyre, my Nan was married at 16 and had Auntie at 17 and my Dad at 19.

It means that her 4 grandchildren have the joy of her presence when we are in our forties, her GGD is 20 and her GGS 9.

You'll reap the benefits of being a "young mum" in later years.

fuddle

Thanks GQ. I wanted to get a point of view across that said kind of 'hold on, we're not a generation of parents that are solely to blame for the state of societal values today. We (former me ) have had these behaviours shaped by living and learning from a society that has taught us it's acceptable and it's ok to be spendthrift, to take out debt, to be seen to have and to think that life owes us a thing or two'

Behaviours and ideals are formed from societal values. People who want and expect to have all their hearts desire do so because that is what living in the modern world has shown them is acceptible.

We've evolved. We deserve to get better as a nation. Nope, I don't think we deserve anything. Why should I get to heat every room of my house to a high temperature when my grandma could only heat her living room and then only get warm by sitting huddled infront of that fire? I shouldn't but societal values state that it's our right to expect that when in fact, I believe (having learned from adversity) we have no right to expect anything at all.

I put my hands up to my financial mistakes but I won't be tarred as a bad apple. It wasn't all my fault. Society said to me it was acceptable, I deserved it and I should have it. My worry is that all these people that are just experiencing it now won't be as equipped and determined to get through it like I have. I guess it depends on whether you get to the point of losing absolutely everything or just not being able to have that sun holiday, latest iphone or having to shave £20 off a£150 per week food budget.

[Deleted User]

If anyone wants to see truly inspirational living there is a site called 'GENERATIONS BEFORE US' by a lady called G.DONNA, she lives in the states and it is well worth a read through all the different parts. She has so much practical common sense and the advice on changing lifestyle to something much simpler and sustainable and how she did it is most enlightening, I dip in once in a while to keep up with a person who is one of us to a T, Lyn xxx.

GreyQueen

Too true, Fuddle.

It was happening in my latter childhood/ teen years, too, didn't just appear in the 1980s.

My Dad's family and Mum's foster-family (she was with them from aged 7, her biological family in the East End of London were wrong 'uns) were steady country people, old-fashioned in many respects. Also, Mum's foster-parents were 50 when they took her on, so it was more like being raised by your grandparents' generation.

Sooooo, bearing in mind that they (the foster-grandparents) passed over when brother and I were still pretty young, and there was no family support on Mum's side, and family support on the other being limited by lack of transport, it wasn't easy.

I was regarded as a bit odd even in my teens as we biked everywhere, didn't go on foriegn holibobs (I have been dragged up every blinking cloud-wreathed mountain in the Lakes, the Peak District, Snowdonia and parts of Scotland, it seems ) plus the knitting, the sewing, the homebaking etc etc.

I figure I was given unnatural advantages over some of my peers. We were initiated into The Art of the Lentil; I always joke in RL that I was recycling before it was fashionable........:rotfl:

The world turns and people get by. Imagine yourself as a lovely great-gran, sitting by her cast iron stove, telling tales of the Roaring 1990s to the youngsters in your extended family. Whilst their parents shake their head in wonder at your far-fetched tales.

mardatha

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

Mind you virtually ev1 I know over 60 has at least 2 holidays a year often abroad, but even they are feeling the pinch.

Ali x[/QUOTE

LOL not this over 60! Been abroad twice in my entire life and that was a ferry to zeebrugge and a few days in Bruges!

GreyQueen

mardatha wrote: »

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

Mind you virtually ev1 I know over 60 has at least 2 holidays a year often abroad, but even they are feeling the pinch.

Ali x[/QUOTE

LOL not this over 60! Been abroad twice in my entire life and that was a ferry to zeebrugge and a few days in Bruges!

Hey, Mar, when Scotlandshire secedes from the rest of the UK you can cross at Berwick and be in a foriegn country!

I leg-pull an Aberdonian pal that he'll soon need a work permit to come sarf.

mardatha

Wyre, I was married at 16 and had my first baby at nearly 19, then another at 21 - and I think being a young mum was terrific. You have the energy and stamina and sense of fun that you just don't have later on. When I had my third at 29, it wasn't the same somehow. Although I had more money and more patience, it wasn't the adventure the other two were.
And I think in the end, there are only two kinds of people. Those who learn from mistakes.. and those who keep on repeating them! lol

mardatha

Now GQ.... why on earth would I need to come doon there? What have you lot got that I'd want??
.............Hmm. Blackpool rock, yes, ok. I might pop doon then lol :D

GreyQueen

mardatha wrote: »

Now GQ.... why on earth would I need to come doon there? What have you lot got that I'd want??
.............Hmm. Blackpool rock, yes, ok. I might pop doon then lol :D

:cool: Sunshine, blue skies, balmy breezes........you're right, nothing to offer, you're better off at home.

BTW, Mar knows where I used to live in Scotlandshire so I've done my time north of the border. Some of my cattle-thieving ancestors emigrated from the lowlands to find [STRIKE]fatter slower cattle
[/STRIKE] errm, I meant a better life.

Sun now out so heading lottie-wards to bash some weeds. Laters, GQ xx

thriftwizard

Just a point about the foreign holidays. There's holidays, and then there's holidays... Last month I took 4 of my offspring to the South of France for a week; I worked hard & saved hard in order to do so & I know I'm very lucky to be in a position to do that. But it didn't cost any more than a week at a holiday camp in the UK... and some of the offspring were able to contribute towards the cost, too. We'd wanted to go to the north of France but flying down to the South actually worked out cheaper as we live close to an airport that serves that area.

I do believe that foreign travel can & should broaden the mind, and minds are best broadened young. There's a world of difference between a real, intriguing exploration of a different area with a different history, climate, topography & wildlife & a whole different way of life, and just flying to the sun, lazing on a beach, going shopping & being waited on hand & foot. We spent part of every day exploring, both near (hiking up the mountainside, pottering round local markets & churches, visiting the coastal towns & beaches) and far (road trip to Barcelona) tried out local foods & wines, and read up on the various influences that have shaped the way of life there. I'm going back for longer next time but staying somewhere cheaper! But it was all budgeted for & paid for upfront, and it was my choice to do that rather than, say, buy new carpet. Just as my penniless widowed Mum saved hard to be able to take my brother & I for two weeks walking in the Austrian Alps when we were early teenagers. Which has given me a lifelong love of plunging my aching feet into cold mountain streams!

So not all foreign holidays are pointless credit-fuelled jaunts "because I'm worth it..." I refuse to feel guilty for mine!