Preparedness for when

homesteadchick

moments_of_sanity wrote: »

The above seems like a luxury lifestyle to me and my family but to their friends we are considered the poor relations, when did life become so material and what you have define you as a person?

I think it has always been that way.
Wasn't that series: a good life a hit in the 70's?
That already shows the desire of some people to step out of the rat race.

I think it is part of human nature to want more and better. many of us make a conscious decision to stop and be happy with what we've got, but I doubt that many of us (including me) would continue such a frugal lifestyle if we won the lottery and suddenly had a few million bucks at our disposal..

:rotfl:

esmf73

When we were able to afford it, we had a great lifestyle. Things have dramatically changed in the last year and our children will just have to accept that! This Christmas will be short on presents (not that they will realise) and many of their presents will come from charity shops. There will however be lots of love and family time, and hopefully lots of fun!

School is having a jumble sale soon - suggestion is that you offer to help at the sale - then you get first dibs!!! Have got lots of my clothes and plenty of uniform from these sales!!!

GreyQueen

Morning all.

Very interesting discussion in the past few hours.

We always had bicycles when I was growing up; we had no car and went out as a family by bicycle or Dad and one of us kids on the Honda 90 or Mum alone (she only ever had a provisional motorbike license so couldn't carry a pillion passenger). We walked loads as well.

Bikes were mostly secondhand; I had two new ones in the course of my childhood. I'm currently in possession of Mum's Pashley Princess, a 1996 model, which replaced my 1991 Raleigh. Which the parents have now and Dad is contemplating replacing his 1957 racer with my old bike. Contemplating carefully; we don't do anything profligate in a hurry in our clan! Mum's old bike, pre the Pashley, went to her SIL.

One thing I don't recall from childhood was anything comparable to the slew of "celebrity" magazines and lifestyle magazines we have today. Even if you never buy them or seek them out, they are pervasive. Yes, there were pop stars and some sports stars with lavish lifestyles but nothing like this lot of carp.

And there wasn't the credit to be had, just a bit of "hire purchase" and "layaway" but this was something to be used sheepishly, and you kept mum about it.

This weekend, the parents and I nipped into a BHF furniture store to see if they could find a solo armchair to replace the only surviving armchair from their 1982 suite which is becoming very darned painful. No luck on Saturday but they will keep on at it until they find something suitable. We're going up in the world; for over a decade when I was growing up we had a wing armchair which Mum and I retrieved from a skip.:rotfl:

Dad recalled a convo about 20 years ago at the factory where he worked when he casually mentioned buying secondhand furniture and other 50-something blokes got very sneery. Dad's laconic response to them was You can only sit on it, after all.

I bought my leather sofa for £110.00 from a c.s. It's a DFS one and the comparable model new would have been £1,199.00. Of which 20% would have gone to the VAT man, as opposed to 100% of what I paid going to the charity. Yes, I could have stretched to a new one but it would have been a ridiculous waste of money when this city is amply supplied with very useful secondhand ones in as-new condition.

I'm pretty astonished by how much some parents spend on gifts for very young children who won't ever know the difference from something much cheaper. I wonder if all of them have thought about buying life insurance cover, lest the worst happen? Found out from a chance conversation quite recently that my Dad always had his life covered whilst we two were dependant on him and Mum.

Righty, quick wibbly round the interweb and a nip up to the library (on leave this week) to judge the likelihood of precipitation. Flat grey out and not sure if it'll rain and don't want to bike up to the lottie in time to get rained upon.

thriftwizard

My DD's are 16 & 17 and they say they are considered 'poor' at school as we couldn't afford for them to do DofE Gold at over £500

Moments_of_sanity, back in 1977 I was unable to complete my Gold because I couldn't complete the "Service" section paperwork; my widowed & penniless mother didn't have a car to take me to the far-flung meetings to get the proof that I'd actually done it! The sad thing was that I had in fact done the service (as well as completing the other sections) and more, but couldn't prove it without the County Bigwig's signature; she wasn't going to come to me & I couldn't get to her. It always left me feeling that DofE was for the wealthy/lucky, that they just hadn't thought things through for those of us who had to travel by public transport. Sad to see that things haven't fundamentally changed.

When my kids were growing up I had to give them a reality check from time to time. Yes, we couldn't afford some things, like the Africa trip in 6th form, which was £3,500 for a month. (Mind you, some other kids' families couldn't afford it either, but they still got to go by working/running jumble sales/sponsored events etc. However the "pot" of available money in the town is finite.) BUT mine had a roof over their heads, good food, decent clothing (albeit mostly secondhand, except shoes) some space to call their own (not easy when you have 5 kids, aren't eligible for any help & have to live in an expensive area because that's where the job is) & medical attention when needed. This made us a whole lot luckier than 9/10ths of the world's population. Not having the latest i-Gadget isn't a tragedy, in fact it might even be a blessing in disguise, if it makes you go off to your bedroom and write a hit song or make yourself a dress instead!

[Deleted User]

Morning, I think some of the difference between our childhoods (I know that covers 65 years in my case) and the childhoods that children experience today is that we had no feeling of entitlement to be and look and have the same as our peers. I know I would have liked to have some things my friends had but I knew what my family could afford and there wasn't that feeling of being a second class citizen because I couldn't have the thing I wanted. I certainly had home knits, jumble sale clothing, hand me downs even to shoes I don't remember ever having a holiday until I was 13 and Dad got his first car, a 1927 Austin 7, and we had a week in a very tiny caravan on Romney Marsh at Dymchurch it was heaven. I didn't know anyone else who regularly went on holiday either so we none of us were discontented. There was none of the peer pressure there seems to be today, we would have been clipped round the ear for being rude if we'd tantrumed over not being able to have a particular thing. Be grateful for what you have got was what I was told, 'We eat, we have a roof over our heads and your Dad's got a job, you count yourself lucky my girl!!!' There was still bullying and cliqueyness and kids behaviour but not for the same reasons it seems as today. The other big difference I feel actually helped us as a generation was having to do our share of the chores, not for payment of pocket money or reward but because it was our job to do them. There were certain housework jobs that I HAD to complete before I was allowed out top play and when my brother came along, playtime was curtailed even further as I had to mind him so Mum could get her things done, then I had to do my jobs and only then was I allowed out with my friends, it didn't do me any harm. The lack of cash also helped I think, I did get pocket money, not every week but when I did I saved it for things I knew my parents wouldn't or couldn't buy for me, so that gives a mindset in adulthood that is frugal and stops that feeling of unfairness that I can't have instant gratification and go buy 'it' now. It's been a big part of staying out of debt. I think perhaps we were luckier in lots of ways than our young folks today, the cookery, housework, childcraft, budgeting etc. were all built in to our lives as we were an integral part of our families, and not partitioned off as 'the kids' and we were expected to pull our weight every day, not set aside to do our own stuff while the parents did all the work, Lyn xxx.

pineapple

bluebag wrote: »

Those who started at a lower base are being utterly crushed, hence the rise in food bank use and the growth of the very high interest short term loan industry.

It would be very interesting to do some proper research on the use of food banks. I have a gut feeling that some (I did say some) have the means to eat as well as many a few decades ago. But of course we have had changes in expectations, diminishing budgeting and domestic skills, growing reliance on the state and changing definitions of poverty.
There was a grand celebrity chef dinner a while back to highlight food poverty. In the process they showed it was possible to eat for £1 (can't remember if it was per day or per meal). It struck me that it was a bit of an own goal.
Before people shout at me, I know there are many genuinely in need out there but I would probably be more inclined to donate if I knew that recipients hadn't been living a lifestyle which I haven't been able to afford.
I hope we are not just throwing money (food) at the problem but working with kids and families to teach life skills to help them cope with the new reality.

moments_of_sanity

thriftwizard wrote: »

Moments_of_sanity, back in 1977 I was unable to complete my Gold because I couldn't complete the "Service" section paperwork; my widowed & penniless mother didn't have a car to take me to the far-flung meetings to get the proof that I'd actually done it! The sad thing was that I had in fact done the service (as well as completing the other sections) and more, but couldn't prove it without the County Bigwig's signature; she wasn't going to come to me & I couldn't get to her. It always left me feeling that DofE was for the wealthy/lucky, that they just hadn't thought things through for those of us who had to travel by public transport. Sad to see that things haven't fundamentally changed.

The bronze and silver were expensive but no where near as bad as the Gold, it is a shame as my DD would have loved to have done it but knew there was no way we could afford it.

My eldest DD works so hard to get fantastic grades at school as she wants to become a vet. She loves the 'free' stuff in life like taking the dogs for a walk around the woods or going out with her camera for a couple of hours. She loves wildlife and really observes the world. Youngest DD spends hours out with friends walking, sitting in fields (on a nice summer evening) and playing football or frisky (both my girls prefer the company of boys so maybe this is why they don't mind us having no money :rotfl:). It seems a real shame that a lot of my DD's friends consider them 'weird' as they are not into clothes/shoes/make up shopping. I suppose we are all different and I have certainly instilled a sense of individuality in them both, I am so very proud of the beautiful, kind and caring people they have become.

ALIBOBSY

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

I think these children, who get lots of expensive presents, are being set up for one hell of a disappointment, in the years to come.

What happens when one, or both, parents lose their job, or they can't get any more 0% cards to shuffle their debts?

Suddenly, all these expensive gifts are no longer an option.

It's OK for children who've never had masses of expensive presents (what you haven't had, you don't miss), but for those used to getting the latest phones and electronic gizmos, half a dozen items from £land, is going to be a major culture shock.

I have to admit we didn't used to spend thousands on crimbo when at our splurge stage, but I reckon the worst one was probably, all in with food, drink and all pressies say around £800-£900. So our kids had, had a few crimbos like that.
But they seemed to adapt really well and by concentrating on spending more time with them and as a family and doing stuff together they seemed to relish every moment.

I was actually quite shocked how little them seemed to notice the cutting back and how much they loved the new way we celebrate. Even stuff like prepping Christmas dinner together-they literally line up to peel brussel sprouts and chop carrots lol.

I think sometimes we underestimate children and there seems to be this "modern" idea that chuck money at them and then you can just ignore them. We have found our kids favourite memories and stuff they have enjoyed the most are not the expensive gifts and/experiences, but are actually the times we spend together as a family. They really do prefer your time to cash.

Occasionally one of them may get a little bit annoyed when we have to say no to something, but they go away, calm down and come back to say sorry.

So I think there will be a lot of parents who have been fooled by the media/advertising etc. into thinking they can't cut back without ruining Christmas. There seems to be an idea of what you "have to have" at Christmas. For example about 7 years ago when I worked at Asda, Christmas week the sales of cheese on the deli counter were 4 to 5 times the normal, one year 7 times the normal. Now no way would all that be eaten, bet a lot ended up being thrown away. But the idea is put around that at Christmas you have to have everything including a "cheese board" to make a "perfect Christmas". What rubbish all marketing carp. Now they seem to try to attach this celebration splurge idea to every occasion they can think of. They try to big up Easter as "Christmas 2" and Halloween seems to be being pushed as well.

Now to us part of Christmas and Easter is the religious side, but I realise to many in this country it is just a holiday and celebration. But its a shame that it has been portrayed as a commercial splurge rather than a time for family and to simply be together.

Ali x

ALIBOBSY

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

People can't be doing too badly, given almost everyone I know, has a family foreign holiday (in some cases two) each year.

When I was a child, if we were very lucky, we got a day at Blackpool.

Likewise, school trips.

The highlight for my class, was a day in Chester, ending with an afternoon in the zoo.

The (just) teenage daughter, of one my friends, is going on a school trip next year, which consists of a fortnight in France.

Not sure where you live Bob, but we are also in the North west and I know hardly anyone who ever had 2 foreign holidays a year and currently I can only think of one family who went abroad this year-and they stayed with relations so just paid for flights and spending whilst there. Most either have a shortbreak/week in a caravan or just didn't go away. Now I don't live in a rough area and its classed as fairly affluent with low crime rates. But is only a semi rural area on the edge of a small town.

Mind you virtually ev1 I know over 60 has at least 2 holidays a year often abroad, but even they are feeling the pinch.


Ali x

GreyQueen

Pineapple, the electoral ward which includes Shoebox Towers is one of the most deprived in the region. It has a lot of social housing, plus several homeless hostels and move-on types of accomodation.

Here's what I know from RL, not some Daily Wail inspired rant from Middle Englandshire's leafy suburbs.

Many of my neighbours, despite having their rent and CT paid, and £71 a week dole, go up to get bags of free food from the charities and up to the nightly Sally Army tea-and-sandwich station in the city centre; I passed it again last night on my way back from the bus and saw some very familiar faces. This has been going on for years.

One of my neighbours keeps losing work (he has an in-demand skillset and gets work easily) because of his filthy temper and habit of striking his boss/ co-workers. He has been referred to the food bank several times. The reason he has no money for food is that he binge-drinks it all away. He has found work several times recently, declined to turn up for the job even once, had to re-claim JSA and been sanctioned.

Another of my neighbours, I've heard him say he is on ESA, begs in the city with a Hungry and Homeless sign. It's all I can do to bite my tongue when I see that.

As a council officer, like our police officers, I recognise many of the beggars out in the city and could tell you their names and addresses. In most cases they are junkies in council flats on benefits, and these benefits don't cover their fixes, so what the good-hearted give them could be the price of the fix that kills them.:(

What you think you see isn't always what is actually happening.

I do know that when I'm hustling for the YS bargains at closing time or down the Magic Greengrocer picking up their bruised bargains, I don't see any of my poorer neighbours stirring themselves.