worried about this friend ...

londonsurrey

I hardly ever drink, but have six bottles of port in my cupboards, which I bought in one swoop when they were on special offer.

They're for my friend who drinks a glass every night, whom I see about twice a year.

goggle

gosh - some of you haven't even read my post before jumping to conclusions!
1) it was a bottle of spirits not wine
2) I didn't "grill her" in the supermarket, we had a chat - do none of you ever bump into somebody in the supermarket & say hello?
3) I didn't jump to conclusions based on one bottle of alcohol in the trolley - I saw it & assumed it was on offer because she very rarely buys alcohol (ie if she saw it on offer she may buy some to stock up for christmas or something) so I asked if it was on offer thinking she may say "yes only £10 today" - I was going to grab a bottle if it was on offer as it's something I drink occasionally but generally only buy on offer! During the chat we had it came out that she'd been having a drink most nights ... it just seems so out of character that somebody would start having a glass most nights when they have previously been adament that they would never drink when they were alone in case they needed to drive (eg if their elderly parents fell ill an hour away)
4) the question I actually asked was "Is starting to drink (not heavily but more often than before) a sign of depression?"
I *said* that I had wondered for a while if she was depressed & I just wondered if drinking was a sign ... I am concerned for my friend. I know nothing about depression and thought somebody here may do as there seem to be loads of people here with experience of it.

I won't bother asking next time and I apologise for wasting your time.

Tropez

goggle wrote: »

gosh - some of you haven't even read my post before jumping to conclusions!
1) it was a bottle of spirits not wine
2) I didn't "grill her" in the supermarket, we had a chat - do none of you ever bump into somebody in the supermarket & say hello?
3) I didn't jump to conclusions based on one bottle of alcohol in the trolley - I saw it & assumed it was on offer because she very rarely buys alcohol (ie if she saw it on offer she may buy some to stock up for christmas or something) so I asked if it was on offer thinking she may say "yes only £10 today" - I was going to grab a bottle if it was on offer as it's something I drink occasionally but generally only buy on offer! During the chat we had it came out that she'd been having a drink most nights ... it just seems so out of character that somebody would start having a glass most nights when they have previously been adament that they would never drink when they were alone in case they needed to drive (eg if their elderly parents fell ill an hour away)
4) the question I actually asked was "Is starting to drink (not heavily but more often than before) a sign of depression?"
I *said* that I had wondered for a while if she was depressed & I just wondered if drinking was a sign ... I am concerned for my friend. I know nothing about depression and thought somebody here may do as there seem to be loads of people here with experience of it.

I won't bother asking next time and I apologise for wasting your time.

There are many different signs of depression and no uniform behaviour pattern in people who are depressed. You say that you have wondered for a while whether she is depressed but you did not state for what reason. The only reason you gave was because her drinking habits have changed a little and that on its own could be for a number of perfectly normal reasons.

Is starting to drink more than normal a sign of depression? Yes, it could be but in the vast majority of cases it is not.

pennypinchingpenguin

hi google,

i skimmed your original post but saw the last one, it does seem to me that it is a possibility your friend might be feeling a bit down. the odd drink each night might not be so bad but if this is out of character for her then i understand your worries. in saying that it may be something that might pass - she might just be having a spell and thats what helps her relax. i would maybe just keep in touch with her and as others said, suggest a wee night in or out once in a while. i meet my best friend once a month (usually after payday!) and we both have a rant and a laugh and it eases the pressures of life for a while.
it is funny how people judge other people for judging isnt it? circles anyone? lol (no-one shoot me!)
yes you may be jumping to conclusions but my own feeling is if you know your friend as well as you say, instincts are not usually wrong. that said there isnt much you can do but be open to contact and im sure she will open up to you when she is ready. i suffered depression for many many years and was such a closed book you couldnt break me open with a sledgehammer!
maybe this will pass and she will be fine but dont feel guilty for caring x

Gigervamp

She could be having trouble sleeping and has found that a nightcap helps her to get to sleep.

VestanPance

The most interesting part of this is people who say they have a glass a few nights a week and classify that as hardly drinking!

I have a drink maybe twice a year. That's what I'd call hardly drinking.

pinkmami

I hardly drink but I always have vodka, gin, beer & wine in the house - as we do have visitors. And if we go to a party via last minute invitation I pick something up & take it.

Its dangerous to asume.

BitterAndTwisted

"I ran out" is probably a substitute for "I'm having some friends round but I haven't asked you".

candygirl

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

"I ran out" is probably a substitute for "I'm having some friends round but I haven't asked you".

:T:T:T:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Errata

I thought having ONE little drink every evening was a sign of a civilised lifestyle, not that someone was in poor mental health. Jeez, Her Maj must be completely bonkers!