Ex partner to supply babyfood when he has him?

Strapped

mspa wrote: »

I thought to get a reduction in csa you had to have overnight contact

You do.

OF COURSE it's reasonable for a PARENT to feed their child while they are with them. If you want a particular brand of baby food to be fed, then you should provide it, otherwise the child will get what the other parent deems suitable/affordable.

AnxiousMum

I would think, at that age, it would be easier, and wiser, for the OP to provide and send along the food. Only reason for that - baby is still getting used to various baby foods - by sending the appropriate foods along, the NRP will be made aware of what baby is currently eating, any risk of allergic reactions will be reduced etc. I just know my ex would have hated to be told 'he's eating this and this, and please don't give him that - it doesn't sit right with him' etc. But, by packing the right foods for the day - you're still giving him that info, but in a nice way that is also helping him out. As he gets no reduction in CM due to no overnights, he's hardly likely to have the extra cash to have the wide assortment in his cupboard that might be the baby's current choice. Whatever you decide though - don't let this be an issue between you - there are way bigger decisions ahead that will be way harder to resolve if you let little things like this get you.

zzzLazyDaisy

sarahsaver wrote: »

I dont think its petty at all. your saying hes not capable of being responsible feeding his own child!!! both our names are on birth certificate so we "BOTH" have parental responsiblility. If I had to worry about him not feeding him right then i would worry about him having him for the day.

receiving maintenance does not mean I have to sort everything out for the father for when our sons in his care! if your letting your child go to someone that cant feed a child then you need to wise up!!!

OP, you clearly resent the fact that you are providing food for your baby while he is in his father's care. Since you say that you trust your son's father to take care of your child and feed him properly, why don't you just talk to him about it? You can't MAKE him do anything, but you can talk to him and come to some other arrangement if the current arrangement isn't working for you.

Having said that, he only has the baby once a week, so probably doesn't have all the sterilising equipment for bottles, and the baby's tastes are likely to change as you introduce new foods, which might be difficult for the father to keep up with, as things change so fast at that age. You also run the risk of him inadvertently introducing a new food that you might not want the child to have just yet. Personally my primary concern would be to minimise disruption and change for the baby, so I'd probably send food until he is fully weaned. But that's just me.

LizzieS_2

Whatever your intentions it is trivial things like this that end up in up to 19 years of misery with both parents constantly arguing. Baby at 5 months is soon going to start solids - is it really worth creating a fuss now?

duchesspink1

at 5 months old he'll still only be having milk, either breast or bottle. Will you be starting weaning when he's 6months? If you are sending the child now, then i'd be sending his milk with him but once he's being weaned onto solids, then depending on how fussy you are over what he eats, depends on what you do.
If you are giving jars and puree's then ask your ex to have the right ones in and also ensure there is fruit available, your child will still be having milk so that will still need to be provided.

If you are doing baby led weaning and finger foods, then it would probably be easier for you to pack and send the items with him.

He's still only a little baby, I'd expect Ex to feed him out of his own pocket when he's older but at this age, i'd be sending the food for him to make sure he gets it right.

themull1

I would still send the baby food over as well, i wouldnt trust my ex to feed a baby properly.

PasturesNew

I'd send the food ... if he didn't you'd not be punishing him, you'd be affecting your child. You're supposed to put the child first, not create squabbles and win points.

LannieDuck

Of course he should get food for the baby! He should also get nappies, baby wipes, a couple of toys to entertain the baby, a set of spare clothes incase baby throws up etc.

If baby is weaning, you'll need to have some communication to let him know which foods baby's been started on. But if he's 'looking after the baby' for a day, then I would have said that includes providing whatever the baby happens to need during that time.

clairec79

Does he realise you have started weaning? (and does he agree with it?) - as official guidance is not to introduce solids until 6 months (although many do do it earlier) it may simply just not have dawned on him that you have started solids so he's just giving milk thinking that's what he normally has (or thinking thats what he should be having)

gingergee

I have 4 and have weaned each one at different ages (not always in agreement with what age they are "meant" to be weaned). No way, on this planet is a 5 mth old going to need "a few small meals" between 11 and 6.30!!! He will maybe have a little meal and pudding/yoghurt etc in a month or two!
I'd start weaning (when bubba is ready), then write down what he likes/dislikes, along with the brands. Then give the list to your ex so he has an idea what to get him. Or, batch cook and freeze healthy fresh meals that your ex can defrost and reheat when needed. Perfect compromise (and miles better/cheaper for your little one!) x