dont know where to start

andy1886

I didnot want to read and run although I can't offer much advice that hasnot already been said . Relatively speaking you are in a similar position to myself in that what you owe is greater than a years salary . I owed £18000 and earn less than that but through the CCCS I have brought this down to £12000 by paying £300 a month . The one thing I noticed that nobody has mentioned is your mortgage , presumably you are on a fixed rate ? When does the deal end ? You can set up a repayment scheme now and start to tackle your debts and use the fixed rate ending deal as your first step where you can reasses and either move your mortgage back onto repayment or pay more to your debts . I dont know whether when planning what you pay to whom you should come off an interest only and back onto repayment obviously leaving less for your creditors , but keeping your house is a priority , more experienced debtbusters with mortgage knowledge can advise you better than I can . Finally , best of luck , keep a clear , cool head about it , they can only have what you've got and no more and you will soon see your debt free date and aim to clear them before then .

Seanymph

Morning, I hope you feel better for reaching out.

Your family won't be better off without you - believe me! - you won't have the stress, but heck, you got into a pickle, now you have to 'girl up' and get out of it.

If you need so much for clothing for your children because they 'grow out of it' then can you ebay what they have grown out of?

Take the cards with the highest rates first. And throw everything you can at them. Cut them up first though

Time_to_face_the_music

Hi heyboots :hello:

I don't know anything about debt arrangement schemes but couldn't just read and run.

Payplan and National Debtline both mention DAS on their website so it could be worth giving them both a call and telling them that you are struggling to find a no fee DAS and can they help you find a free DAS approved money advisor.

The numbers are
0808 808 4000 National Debtline
and
0800 280 2816 Payplan

My advice would always be to never pay anyone as that money should be going towards your debt. Hopefully you may get some help from one of the above.

flippin36

Just a quick tip regarding shoes for the kids. We always get our clarkes shoes from outlet stores - usually between £20-£25. They do a fitting service. Can't remember last time we paid full price. We budget £30 pm for clothes and shoes for 2 kids (we don't bother with ourselves much these days). Put out the word for hand me downs. People like to see other people getting use of their clothes but worry about offending someone. Freecycle often has bags of kids clothes. Carboot sales at this time of year are great for clothes (so cheap). If you find something that is in great condition but too big, start a filing system for clothes they will grow into. If it can save you £100 a month then its worth it - much better spent on your mortgage to be honest.

mumsnopennies

Hi just wanted to see how your feeling today ?xx

heyboots

Firstly, I am feeling much more positive today, Ive been throwing up all night but I suspect thats the stress!!

I've got a grip of myself and I apologise for my self indulgent whining

Its a real mess but my kids are healthy, and hubby and i are healthy, we have good earning capacity and a caring family, theres plenty people who would swap my problems for theirs in a heartbeat and it would do me good to remember that!

please do not underestimate how much you have all helped already. I can't believe people would take the time to give me help and advice when this is all effectively my own fault and the fact you have means an awful lot to me :T

I'm behind at work because I have been stressing so much so today I am focusing on catching up (the last thing i need to do is let my performance slip!) but use my many tea breaks and lunch to browse the boards for inspiration (theres a big part of me that doesnt believe i can do this and reading others journeys is helping A LOT) and i will contact the numbers/links you have all given me at lunchtime to investigate a cost free DAS

thanks again

heyboots

flippin36 wrote: »

Just a quick tip regarding shoes for the kids. We always get our clarkes shoes from outlet stores - usually between £20-£25. They do a fitting service. Can't remember last time we paid full price. We budget £30 pm for clothes and shoes for 2 kids (we don't bother with ourselves much these days). Put out the word for hand me downs. People like to see other people getting use of their clothes but worry about offending someone. Freecycle often has bags of kids clothes. Carboot sales at this time of year are great for clothes (so cheap). If you find something that is in great condition but too big, start a filing system for clothes they will grow into. If it can save you £100 a month then its worth it - much better spent on your mortgage to be honest.

Great tip!! i think there is one near us, also My sister said she takes the kids in to an expensive local store , gets them fitted and then orders online, bit unscrupulous but needs must!

Time_to_face_the_music

You can do this and we will all help you :T

heyboots

mumsnopennies wrote: »

Hi just wanted to see how your feeling today ?xx

A bit better, very nice of you to ask, I will try and be less in future, its not really very productive and i really need to focus my energy on dragging myself out the mess I am in.

The kids are a big thing though, as a mum how do you cope with the guilt of not being able to give them what you want to? I suspect I need to readjust my goals and my goal should be helping them grow up equipped with an understanding of the value of money and a good role model on how to budget, that will make then happier in the long run than xbox games! but i do feel guilty that if I hadn't squandered all this money I could give them holidays/"stuff" - any tips on how to flick that switch in my head

anna-marie

Hi Heyboots,
I'm empathising with you a lot here!! Try to keep a sense of humour and remember that although you are in a financial pickle it is definitely sortable outable:)

I have had a very similar scenario lately and I've had to flick the switch in my head too. I decided to embrace the frugal life and make vintage/recycling/homemade/waste not want not my new inspirations. When you get into it it's actually very rewarding to NOT buy unneccesary stuff.

Of course your kids are a priority but luckily the things kids mainly want and need are totally free eg your time, attention, love, walks in the park, riding bikes, climbing trees, swimming in rivers, reading books, playing board games.....etc. etc.

Maybe first you have to take on board that you will HAVE to change your lifestyle quite a bit for a while. For us that has meant, for example, switching to one car instead of 2 (I'm getting a lot more exercise now getting around on a bike), cancel sky channels, take cheap UK holidays, buy groceries in Aldi, food is all homemade, clothes/shoes are second hand, beauty and cleaning products are homemade, I'm the new family hairdresser.... I can't emphasise enough how rewarding and fun it is:)

Good Luck and stay positive - you're doing it!