How to turn down an offer without offending the in-laws?

bluff_2

My boyfriend and I are already thinking about where we might spend Christmas (I know!!). His parents have a house in Florida and have invited to come and stay for Christmas or New Year or both. The only problem being that the last time I stayed with them I ended up nearly wanting to murder his mum!

She is lovely in small doses and they are very generous, but I just don't think it would be a very relaxing Christmas/New Year, despite their beautiful house and the weather. Because it's a 9 hour flight we would have to go for at least a week to make it worthwhile.

I really don't want to sound ungrateful and I do realise how many people would jump at the chance to spend Christmas in Florida. I would love to go and I'd be more than happy to be with them during the daytime, I just couldn't stay with them. Would it be rude/impolite to suggest that we stay in a hotel near them? Or should we just turn them down politely?

Taadaa

I would have thought that they might think it a little odd if you say you want to stay elsewhere, but I don't know them - can your bf not assess this?

You could say thank you but Christmas without cold wouldn't be the same, or you can't afford it, or can't afford the time off work.

podperson

Could you perhaps say that Christmas wouldn't be great - you want to see your family/spened it alone, have to work etc. but you could go later in the year - might be a bit less stressful.
Regarding staying with them - how much does she does annoy you lol? Could you stay with them but perhaps mention that you'd love to have a bit of 'alone' time with your OH while you're on holiday, which gives you an excuse to got out for the day or for a meal a few nights without them to give you a bit of an escape from her.

POPPYOSCAR

Last time you stayed with them was it in Florida?

PinkLipgloss

I can fully appreciate the OPs feelings on this!

My OH and my Mum under the same roof is a nightmare. They are okay in small doses but both need their "own space" so to speak.

I would take them up on the offer but say "We don't want to fully intrude upon your hospitality so we'll stay in a nearby hotel. That way we can see each other regularly but also do our own thing at times."

FatVonD

Could you stay for a couple of days but take off to visit DisneyLand/The Everglades on your own?

maman

FatVonD wrote: »

Could you stay for a couple of days but take off to visit DisneyLand/The Everglades on your own?

I think that's a good idea. Obviously you'll have to spend Christmas and New Year with them but make a point of getting out and about as much as you can in between.

I think it would look odd if you tried to stay in a hotel.

How does your OH feel about it all?

Gigglepig

Rather than booking a hotel nearby, what about staying at their house for 2-3 days for Christmas, then travel somewhere else in Florida or out of state for a week? (Or the other way around)

That way you can stay in a hotel, but it won't be as awkward as if it were right next to their house. Also a great opportunity to see a bit more of USA.

Pupnik

I think going off to see some other parts of Florida for a few nights is a good idea. Also if it is the evenings which are the worst maybe find some things to do together in the evenings so you don't have to talk to them too much - cinema, a concert etc - somewhere dark and quiet

Or maybe you could fly over there, spend Christmas with them and then go off to another part of the US, if there is anywhere you have always wanted to go, New Year in NY for example.

Bluemeanie_2

I have nothing constructive to offer! However, I feel your pain. My MIL is old !!!!!!

cottonhead

I wouldnt turn it down. This sounds harsh but in my own family we had a few unxpected deaths over the last 2 years and it brought home that you need to spend as much time with family as you can. I know it might not be easy for you but for your partners sake try and do it. If a whole week is too much to stand then I agree with the others that said spend a few days and then go and explore a different area.