make do and mend for tougher times

Byatt

It's just awful Mary, I'm almost crying. I know I will pick myself up again, but it's like being hit from all sides and the loss of this money is terrible. I was trying to be so optimistic. Basically lost my underlying entitlement to carer's allowance and they want me to claim carer's allowance but if I do that, my DD will be a lot worse off as they take away her severe disability premium. It's a rock and a hard place. It gave me a preimum allowance which passports you to other help.

kidcat

Byatt - ((hugs)) have no practical advice unfortunately, other than to ask again whether living with your DD would be a possibility and beneficial to you both.

Fuddle well done on getting the application in

maryb

I'm so sorry. And I know so little about this area. Can you tell us how much worse off will you be taking into account the loss of the passported benefits and how much worse off would your DD be if you claim carer's allowance?

ETA I can't help agreeing with Kidcat. The reason your DD left no longer applies so could you explore living together again?

[Deleted User]

FUDDLE - Hope you have got your balance again after feeling so shaken up this morning. I won't add to the good practical advice everyone has given, as, if you and DH can find what the problem is, you can likely fix it and be content again. If you do start looking for a new home, be careful to see the problems as well as the benefits , it's easy to get carried away and not see the down side as well as the good. It sometimes happens that what feels like a disaster leads to unexpected good happening. You've been 3 years here and you've paid off most of your debts so that should present you in a new light to a different landlord. You might just find a better place, a better life and a better level of happiness don't they say 'After the darkest night comes the Dawn!'? Whatever you decide you'll be sensible about because you have more than common sense you have integrity and a steely backbone and you're brave enough to consider many alternatives in life. We're always here to give you an opinion if you want one and support if it all gets heavy - chin up pet It'll come right in the end.

PAH - Hope the water is receeding and you haven't got problems still.

JEM132 - Hope your house is dry now and the water didn't come any further in.

BYATT - All I can offer is the biggest hug you can imagine, and be here if you have to say it to someone, feel free, it might help. Wish I could solve it for you. Lots of love Lyn xxx.

tryingtobethrifty

Byatt, I have no advice either but just to let you know I'm thinking of you and hope you and everyone on here are okay.

Fuddle - hope you get it all sorted. I just don't understand how people (LL) can sleep at night knowing you have damp in your house and taking your rent. And, it's stupid ignoring it because in the long run it's going to cause him more problems (money) the longer he leaves it. Also, I didn't get a chance to reply the other day but I feel for you and how your friend treated you. I've decided that if it's always me doing the running/listening/phoning etc then that's not a friendship and as we call it here "you're cut". No more running after people. I heard recently that you are most like the top 5 people you spend time with, perhaps I need to reorganise my friendships, but it's never easy is it? Bit easier for you since she's moving to Australia though.

Our school is closed today due to no power so we're wrapped up inside and enjoying a forced day of rest and ignoring the mountain of housework that needs done.

kidcat

DS14 is back from his group and seems happy with it, he wants to go back tomorrow so that is good. Will be watching carefully. Ironically one of the staff spoke to me and when I mentioned DS8 being ASD she asked whether DS14 had his diagnosis yet - but she had not seen any of his paperwork and had not been told - she could simply tell

We are all tucked up inside now, as with DD away tonight there is no need to go out. Dad has just rung and wants me to go lift the gutter/drain thingy at the bottom of the drive and check its not blocked - now whilst I appreciate that that it could cause major problems if it overflows - there is no way on earth I can lift the blinking thing never mind clear it, so have taken path of least resistance and have said "yes dear" and left it at that.

pinkieminkie

stiltwalker wrote: »

Kidcat - it's he start of the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (according to google!) - I'm not religious but it has always felt 'right' to me.

Hugs to all in need of one - gosh aren't we all having a time of it at the moment.

Been out to see wheelchair services this morning and guess what? they don't 'do' double special needs buggies and are not aware of any that would be completely suitable for our particular needs - but we can have a voucher towards one to the value of the single buggy they can supply!!! To be fair they are going to have a look around and come back to me, but I could just cry - we can't be the only family with 2 disabled youngsters. Will have a look on the internet later and maybe phone a couple of the charities that help with funding for that sort of thing (Whizzkidz spring to mind) and see if they have any ideas - they may have helped other families in our situation. Right now though it's very early lunch for me and DS before we set off back out to go and pick DD up from nursery. We dropped her off after the appointment and I'm kind of wishing we hadn't as we had to drive through practically a river to get back into the village and I'm kind of panicking about whether we are going to be able to get out again - may have to go the very long way round. I shall be putting the wellies in the car in case.

Don't know if this may be any use to you, but worth delurking just in case ........

I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago and ended up with something like this:

Prince-Lionheart-6550-Pushchair-Connectors (cannot post link - go to Amazon and search this!)

Not perfect (did tend to unclip every now and then) but got us out of a difficult situation for a while. Hope that you find an answer soon, but hopefully something like this may tide you over

ginnyknit

Just popped on before we go for OH's pre-op. So sorry to read every ones troubles , Byatt you rant away hunny, it helps I know. Fuddle hope the damp gets sorted, its a worry as DD has problems with her house but LL is a nice guy. however he tried to blame her when we knew it was water from the corner of the house outside coming in :mad:

Just been to Mr S and a lot of stuff has gone up by 20p or more, will have a proper look at receipt when I get back and let you know. However they were clearing the freezers and got a few half price or more things.

Off to get my excercise now running through the rain, pushing OH in wheelchair then tramping miles through hospital - its the furthest clinic from the flipping door

Byatt

No, DD doesn't want us to live together which I understand. DD would lose her IS probably, (I have to check again, I'm all over the place), as well as reduced HB and CTB...currently all paid for her. The IS for her is a passport benefit, as all of it's used to pay for her support/help at home. It's a minefield...

I am losing about £300 pm, maybe more...so, my income is now £400 per mth (OCCP) and some help with rent and CT, but not all paid by any means as private rent over £425 pm. and LHA is £92 pw.

OK, so the benefits office say £100 per week is enough to live on.

and on top of this, my ex who wants DD to visit, has told her she has to pay the train fare because he's just paid £24000 out for a !!!!!!!g karavan (don't want a search engine spotting this), and he's on around £30,000 +!

I think I may be standing on a street corner.

Could things get any worse?

grandma247

(((Hugs))) Byatt.
I would be telling him to take a running jump off a short pier!
I know this will not help you now but a curt letter setting everything out to your mp might be a good idea. These people have not got a clue how these changes are affecting people but they will soon enough. Next spring and summer will be very interesting i'm sure.