£40k, 3 kids, 2 adults. Liveable?

Alikay

Person_one wrote: »

Oh dear, would you not be worried about the effect on your oldest of having another as a result of that thought process?

I feel a bit sorry for her already, to be honest.

Hmm...doesn't seem a great reason to me either. Mind you, I don't think I could've given a proper reason for me wanting 3 " we just do, so there!" is about the closest.

We just presented people with the fait accompli, and, lets face it, since we raised them all ourselves without family help, it was none of their business anyway.

OP, if you do go for another baby you WILL get asked your reasons why and it gets very very tedious: As do the smirks and suggestions that no 3 was "an accident"

becominganobsessivesaver

Does your calculation of £600 include tax and ni deductions, by my calculations £7,500 extra would be more like £450 per month. Still a decent payrise though.

Person_one

Alikay wrote: »

Hmm...doesn't seem a great reason to me either. Mind you, I don't think I could've given a proper reason for me wanting 3 " we just do, so there!" is about the closest.

Perfectly valid reason, that!

Much better than "Well DD1's ok in her own way, but DD2 is so wonderful we'd like a clone!"

I just think that has the potential to cause some huuuuge issues a few years down the line, if they aren't brewing already.

JodyBPM

I think £40K income with £130K mortgage plus debts is very little to bring up 3 children tbh, but I seem to be the odd one out here!

Firstly, interest rates are exceptionally low at the moment, generally the accepted interest rate to use for forward planning calcs is 8%, so you should be budgetting to be able to afford £1000 ish per month for mortgage. Plus you currently have debts, so I would question how well you are actually managing as you are, in my experience people who manage comfortably don't have debts, debts are an indicator that your outgoings on average exceed your income. People who are comfortable have savings, people who are not comfortable have debts.

I'm not sure what age your children are, but if you want them to have nice lives and plenty of opportunities, then it costs. Everything from £5 a week dance lesson to £10 a week school dinners to £10 here and £10 there school trips, £25 for 20 mins riding lessons etc etc this all adds up.

Obviously, you could go back to work to top up the family income if things got tight. I think whether or not I think you should go for it would depend a lot on your earning potential - if you go back to work will it double the household income, or will it just be a min wage job? If you have the skills and quals to be pulling in £30K+ in the future, that gives you a nice safety net.

In any case, I'd wait til your husband actually had the payrise in his hand before making any final decisions.

All I can say is we earn considerably more than £40K per year and have paid off the mortgage, and whilst we're certainly comfortable, with savings and no debts, a third child would make a difference to our (and our children's) lifestyles, without a doubt.

neneromanova

Person_one wrote: »

Perfectly valid reason, that!

Much better than "Well DD1's ok in her own way, but DD2 is so wonderful we'd like a clone!"

I just think that has the potential to cause some huuuuge issues a few years down the line, if they aren't brewing already.

Nooooo, I didn't mean it like that. If I could, i'd have another DD1 as she's no problem as well, best child you could ever wish for, but as that is not happening any time soon (thank god!! I'd rather gouge my own eyes out than be with him again) then I'd be happy with "another" DD2.

As for the workings out, Yeah I might have over estimated that And it's only £700 a month as he works on the weekend for my dad at £20 an hour a saturday. When he's finished paying it off, it'll only be 1 saturday a month. Which is fair enough. So the £300 left over that isn't paid off on debts, plus the £340, plus the £425 is £1065.

Person_one

neneromanova wrote: »

Nooooo, I didn't mean it like that. If I could, i'd have another DD1 as she's no problem as well, best child you could ever wish for, but as that is not happening any time soon (thank god!! I'd rather gouge my own eyes out than be with him again) then I'd be happy with "another" DD2.

Ah ok, that's not so bad!

Still though, I can almost guarantee that the more you want a replica of your second daughter, the higher the chances that she'll turn out to be the complete opposite in every way, possibly even male.

Only have another baby if you'd be perfectly fine with that, although from a purely practical perspective having three seems like a lot more work and expense than 2, due to the fact that the world seems geared up to every family having 2 adults and 2 children for some reason.

neneromanova

JodyBPM wrote: »

I think £40K income with £130K mortgage plus debts is very little to bring up 3 children tbh, but I seem to be the odd one out here!

Firstly, interest rates are exceptionally low at the moment, generally the accepted interest rate to use for forward planning calcs is 8%, so you should be budgetting to be able to afford £1000 ish per month for mortgage. Plus you currently have debts, so I would question how well you are actually managing as you are, in my experience people who manage comfortably don't have debts, debts are an indicator that your outgoings on average exceed your income. People who are comfortable have savings, people who are not comfortable have debts.

I'm not sure what age your children are, but if you want them to have nice lives and plenty of opportunities, then it costs. Everything from £5 a week dance lesson to £10 a week school dinners to £10 here and £10 there school trips, £25 for 20 mins riding lessons etc etc this all adds up.

Obviously, you could go back to work to top up the family income if things got tight. I think whether or not I think you should go for it would depend a lot on your earning potential - if you go back to work will it double the household income, or will it just be a min wage job? If you have the skills and quals to be pulling in £30K+ in the future, that gives you a nice safety net.

In any case, I'd wait til your husband actually had the payrise in his hand before making any final decisions.

All I can say is we earn considerably more than £40K per year and have paid off the mortgage, and whilst we're certainly comfortable, with savings and no debts, a third child would make a difference to our (and our children's) lifestyles, without a doubt.

We only have debts as we borrowed a certain amount from my parents (interest free) to buy a house as we felt renting was a waste of money (and we were getting p*ssed off with inspections every 3 months) so we're paying them back for that and will be paid off next year around christmas.

My DD's are lucky in the fact that nanny lives on a farm and has horses already so luckily that's free.

Yeah I understand about the interest rates. Annoyingly no one can tell if they ever will come back up. And if they do, we'll just fix for some years.

Person_one wrote:

Still though, I can almost guarantee that the more you want a replica of your second daughter, the higher the chances that she'll turn out to be the complete opposite in every way, possibly even male.

Yeah that is one factor to worry about, but I always wanted boy. Even when i was first pregnant. lol. So I wouldn't mind a little boy. OH would be thrilled i think, but if not then we'd happily have another girl.

JC9297

neneromanova wrote: »

Nooooo, I didn't mean it like that. If I could, i'd have another DD1 as she's no problem as well, best child you could ever wish for, but as that is not happening any time soon (thank god!! I'd rather gouge my own eyes out than be with him again) then I'd be happy with "another" DD2.

In many (?most) families the children all have the same father, I don't know any where the children are just the same. I really do not think your daughters are different just because they have different fathers, rather they are individuals as will any third child be. As somebody else said, if it is a boy it will be totally different!

Spendless

Bare in mind that your OH will become a 40% tax payer. (Does he currently just miss?) A company car will affect his tax free personal allowance and will you be affected by cuts to child benefit next year? My advice is to see what his net income is once he has his pay-rise and then work out your figures based on that when you know what actual income you have coming in.

If and when you do return to work, is 3x childcare costs going to make it that you have much of a 2nd income coming into the house? With 2 children once they were school age I found that in term-time I kept all or the majority of my wages. In the school hols the equivalent of my wages went in childcare costs (makes no difference to me where the money comes from ie my wages or husbands wages, it is the overall financial effect of the household I look at). To me it was worth it to keep my job till they returned to school but with 3 I'd have had to take into account that I needed to save during term-time to pay hol childcare costs. Even if you have relatives willing to help out, their circs can change eg they can become seriously ill and can no longer do it.

cte1111

My OH earns the amount mentioned. We are living comfortably on that wage, I'm not currently working, apart from some mystery shopping.

We have 2 children but TBH I don't think an extra would cost that much, as our current house has a spare bedroom. The main extra cost from children is probably childcare, so if one parent is able to be a SAHP then I don't think it would increase many costs by that much. Obviously nappies (if you use disposables), milk (unless you manage to breastfeed exclusively) and food when they are older, but you probably have most of the baby items from your older 2.

NB we don't have a mortgage (I used to work as a contractor and earnt / made money from investments, enough to pay off the mortgage by the time I was 30). However we do have a boat, the monthly costs from this are about £300-400 so kind of equivalent to a smallish mortgage.