Private schooling

SqueekyMouse

cottonhead wrote: »

Thanks everone for the thoughful replies. I can see from the experiences here some of it is down to the individual child and some down the individual school. I think my main concern is that we have some excellent grammar schools where pupils come out with grades comparable or better than the local independant schools. However if my son doesnt qualify then the alternative is a terrible one - only 26% of pupils achieve 5 A-C grades. I am thinking now that if he passed the 11+ then grammar would be a good option as we could then spend the money we would otherwise have spent on private education on things like nice trips abroad and for uni if he gets there. The if he doenst qualify for grammar we could send him to a private school. There seem to be 2 types that I have seen - the quite selective ones where children are admitted with high grades and the not so where it seems to be done in order that you put your name down. I suppose I just want the best chance I can give him and this sounds bad ( even as I am writing I am cringing but I have to be honest ) mix with certain people. The local upper school has so many problems with bullying, teenage pregnancy, truancy and gangs. Having said that I would worry that people at private school might be too stuck up towards us becauae we are working class. Its a tricky one.

I went to a grammar school and was in a similar situation where if I didn't get into it I would have had to attend the local comp which was terrible. I remember doing practice 11+ plus test for weeks before the entrance exam because my mum was so keen to get me into the better school!

IMO selective schools provide a better education than a private school. I would always choose a grammar school above any other. The pupils in both a private school and a grammar school are likely to benefit from a high level of parental interest and support and they themselves probably have a better attitude to learning. However, in a grammar school the more able pupils would benefit significantly from the expectations of a higher academic standard and a greater amount of time spent on more advanced work, without academically weaker pupils taking the teacher's time from the brighter pupils.

In my experience there is also a certain amount of snobbery in grammar schools. We certainly felt we were 'better' than the kids that went to the comp. Furthermore, those who lacked money for the latest branded coat or the right pair of shoes were picked on and woe betide you if you brought your games kit to school in a Netto bag!! :eek:

pinksleepybear

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I went to Private School

I hated it. If you came from a small (normal) house and your Mum didn't drive a brand new car then you were not really worth much. Either bullied, or worse, pitied!

All the money in the world wouldn't make me send my children to a private school. There are some truly horrid, pretentious, snobs in this world.

Agree totally with the above, this was my experience too. I went to two different private schools and they squeezed every penny they could from the parents in stupid, petty ways. My parents were charged for school concerts that I attended, held in the school hall, with performances from my fellow pupils (and as a boarder, they were compulsory to attend). Ka-ching, £10 a time for me to go what were basically assemblies. These were held about twice a term too.

I would never, ever send my child to a private school.

angelil

You also mention your concerns about teenage pregnancy etc in the state schools OP.

While these are not invalid concerns, think of what the problems often are in private schools - drugs and cigarettes - because there is enough money floating around that the kids are able to buy them! I know for a fact that these two things are a huge problem in the private school where I teach and it comes down to the fact that often the parents have so much money that they don't teach their kids to be responsible with it.

You are likely to find social problems in whatever environment your child is schooled in.

miss_independent

I went to two private schools and one state (primary). I think its a very difficult thing to decide upon and, as others have said all depends upon what the quality of the local schools are like.

I was very badly bullied at private school because I was more musical and artsy than sporty at a school where sports were everything and quite a "do gooder" who was into helping others at a school where "charity" meant the "Cricket Team's Tour of Barbados Fund". At the school I was at the atmosphere was intensely competitive and pupils were extremely self centred and driven - this was positively encouraged by the staff. I didn't feel that the other pupils were particularly "posh" or "classy" but you were looked down on if you didn't have a new BMW, Merc, Jag, Lexus (in those days), Porshe etc etc, ditto exotic holidays. School holidays were extremely expensive (eg ski trips were to Aspen, Colorado and well over the £1000 mark). I'm not saying that your child would get bullied if you don't have all of these things but I'm just pointing out that this was the kind of lifestyle most people led at my school. The bullying I was on the receiving end of was highly sophisticated and delivered with alot of arrogance. I was miserable and the school never expelled bullies because pupils = £££££££. One boy put another boys head through a glass window as a "joke". That bright spark was made head boy.

HOWEVER - I loved the educational side and had good friends. My teachers were on the whole great and I was a straight A student, I got 100% in many of my GCSE and A-Level modules. Ultimately, after graduating university (top of my course) I still ended up on the scrapheap with all the other graduates. I was on jobseekers allowance for 6 soul destroying months. The staff at the jobcentre were dumbfounded that no one wanted to hire me. I couldn't even get an interview. Eventually, I couldn't stand signing on every week with people who didn't care about getting a job when I wanted one so much. I'd always believed that if I worked hard at school, did my absolute best and got excellent qualifications I would get a good job. I couldn't even get an entry level admin job or a minimum wage job as a receptionist and there were no graduate jobs to be found. I ended up starting my own business but I've struggled alot financially. Its a sign of the times more than a fault of my schooling, although university did nothing to prepare us for the world of work.

I know for a fact I would not have succeeded at all academically had I stayed in state school. I was completely forgotten about in a class of 36 and at age 4 believed I was stupid, a belief which continued until I got my GCSE results and was told I was Oxbridge material. I am grateful I received a private education. I never personally knew of any drug taking at school though I'd hear things at parties, sex was often talked about but most people waited until they had a serious boyfriend/girlfriend in sixth form and only one girl in my year became pregnant as a teenager. This is in stark contrast to other local schools where many 15 year olds routinely push their prams to school at 3pm to meet up with their old school friends. The teenage pregnancy rate here is one of the highest in the nation.

If I could afford it, I think I would send my children to private school but not if they had low self esteem in anyway - the kids at my school preyed upon those with low self esteem. I'd also be looking for a school which, as well as having an excellent educational record, focused upon good pastoral care. I'd want a school which focused upon respect for peers, kindness and good moral standards etc - have no idea where I'll find such a school though!

sneezyboots

I swear I have posted on a similar topic in the past but anyhow...

You will find pros and cons to both sides of education and you will find many exceptions to the generalisations I am about to make but if you look at the law of averages I would pay for my children's secondary education if I can afford it when the time comes.

I attended state primary and private secondary. Thanks to the joys of facebook I can tell you what most of the people I went to primary (who all bar me went to to the local secondary comp) and those I went to secondary now are doing with their lives. (I am 25 if that helps)

At least half of my state peers have children. Only one to my knowledge (of about 12 people) are still with their child's other parent as a couple! Not a single one is married yet. (Well one did and is already divorced).

Only 1 of my privately educated peers has children and she is married to their father. 4 of us are now married.

2 of my state friends went on to complete university. All bar 4 of my private ones did.

Range of jobs of the people I know from primary: about 6 retail workers, about 3 i know aren't working and 2 I know work in admin. No idea on the rest.

Jobs my secondary friends have: At least 7 are doctors, 3 are lawyers, 5 of us are teachers. 1 works for csi, 2 are pro athletes, 3 are still studying further, 4 are working in high profile jobs in foreign countries. 1 is a SAHM and the 'dropout' who didn't go to uni works in a bank.

Obviously there were far more people than that in my schools but these are the ones I know about.

Private education is not necessarily about a better education as most only take the brighter children in the first place, but it is about better opportunities, better expectations and so on and so forth which gives the child (in my opinion) a better chance at a better life.

milliebear00001

Kiboko wrote: »

I was privately educated (Public School - boarding, my father was a Diplomat and they moved country every 3 years), my children are being educated within the State system, I can't afford private education, I don't know that I got a 'better' education than someone in the State system, teachers at the school I attended then didn't need teaching qualifications!!! I doubt that is true nowadays.

That is still true today.

Person_one

Kiboko wrote: »

I was privately educated (Public School - boarding, my father was a Diplomat and they moved country every 3 years), my children are being educated within the State system, I can't afford private education, I don't know that I got a 'better' education than someone in the State system, teachers at the school I attended then didn't need teaching qualifications!!! I doubt that is true nowadays.

Is still true.

Qualified teachers in the private sector are generally paid less than in state, and tend to be the ones who couldn't cope with the behaviour issues/large class sizes in state schools.

One friend, even though I love her dearly, really struggled to find work in the state sector, she just wasn't beating any of the competition, she went a year with no interviews at all, just doing supply, so now she works in private as that's what she could get. Some of the 'teachers' at that school are actually level 3 TAs!

The parents aren't paying for better teachers or better facilities/equipment/enrichment, they're just paying for smaller classes.

sneezyboots

Person_one wrote: »

Is still true.

Qualified teachers in the private sector are generally paid less than in state, and tend to be the ones who couldn't cope with the behaviour issues/large class sizes in state schools.

One friend, even though I love her dearly, really struggled to find work in the state sector, she just wasn't beating any of the competition, she went a year with no interviews at all, just doing supply, so now she works in private as that's what she could get. Some of the 'teachers' at that school are actually level 3 TAs!

The parents aren't paying for better teachers or better facilities/equipment/enrichment, they're just paying for smaller classes.

No 'proper' private school will employ anything other than the very best teachers. Many of mine were even doctors in their field and had ended up teaching in the private sector as they were highly educated and most educated in it themselves so it was what they knew.

If you are going to bother sending your child private you should always do your research first!

Person_one

sneezyboots wrote: »

No 'proper' private school will employ anything other than the very best teachers. Many of mine were even doctors in their field and had ended up teaching in the private sector as they were highly educated and most educated in it themselves so it was what they knew.

If you are going to bother sending your child private you should always do your research first!

How do you define proper?

The parents pay exorbitant fees, the children wear little straw boaters and are in classes of less than 10, the building is beautiful and old and grand looking, but because its run essentially to make a profit several of the younger classes are taught by teaching assistants, as they're cheaper.

It gets good SATS results, so I suppose nobody cares.

CruisingSaver

I went to a state primary and a private secondary school (after being awarded a scholarship to go there). I absolutely loved it and the education I received was fantastic.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago when my daughter was in Y4/Y5 and we were thinking about which high school she might go to. I was adamant that there was no way DD was going to the local state high school and we'd pay for her to go to private school.

DH on the other hand had been state educated all the way and really wanted her to go to the state school and persuaded me to go to a couple of the open evenings to find out more.

The upshot is DD is now coming to the end of Y7 at the state high school. She loves it and is doing really well academically and socially.

After visiting the school a few times I was completely won over and was really impressed by both the facilities and the teaching staff.

OP I can only advise that you visit a few schools with your child and then make your mind up.

CS x