Feeling sad

Alikay

I'm feeling very sad today, as 3 of the closest people to me are having a very tough time. It's nothing I can help with...the usual sh 1 t life throws at us all sometimes. All I can do is empathise, offer moral support and make the right noises ,but what hurts them hurts me

I've got a lot of time on my hands at the moment due to a natural break in my work, but in a week or so I'll barely have a minute to think.

Any suggestions to stop me feeling so sad and helpless? I don't want to go shopping for shoes, and I've just cleaned the bathroom to sterile field standard and it helped not one iota!

tea_lover

(((hugs))) It's horrible when people you love are hurting and you feel you can't help. Just remember that your love and support may make all the difference to them, even if you feel you're not really doing anything.

Can you get outside for some fresh air at all? Depending on the weather, I find a nice long walk (or a run, if you're so inclined!) can really help clear the cobwebs and lift my mood.

HeadAboveWater

I agree with tea lover. The fact that your friends/family know you are there will mean so much to them. A wee text now and again just to say 'thinking about you' will give them a lift, but doesn't put pressure on them to respond. Or [STRIKE]buy[/STRIKE] make a wee card to [STRIKE]post[/STRIKE] drop through the letterbox to encourage them

Fresh air is great. But yeah, avoid the shops!! Take a wee picnic or flask with you and stop off to enjoy the sights.

hazyjo

Are you sure you aren't burying your own problems and focussing on theirs in order to release some emotion?

Jx

SailorSam

I'm not religious at all but someone i know seems to feel much better when she's down just going and sitting in her church. I think sometimes it must be nice to have that much belief.

Alikay

hazyjo wrote: »

Are you sure you aren't burying your own problems and focussing on theirs in order to release some emotion?

Jx

No. They're my family, and it's unfortunate life events causing grief rather than problems with solutions.

Once the rain stops I'll go for a walk. Maybe buy myself a nice wrap or simalar for lunch if I see anything that appeals, as I feel a bit churned-up and don't fancy anything to eat at the moment.

HeadAboveWater

See if you can get an outside seat or a window seat. People watch. It'll give you a giggle when you check out the styles (or lack of!) of some people!!

Ich_2

Yes it can be very saddening when we worry about those closest to us.
It can be even worse when their method of coping is to shut themselves off from the world.
You do send them messages of support but sit in a vacuum of silence in return not knowing if they are coping, not knowing if they are well.
But sometimes that is what being a friend/relative has to be about, no matter how hard.

Alikay

Ich wrote: »

It can be even worse when their method of coping is to shut themselves off from the world.
You do send them messages of support but sit in a vacuum of silence in return not knowing if they are coping, not knowing if they are well.
But sometimes that is what being a friend/relative has to be about, no matter how hard.

Thanks, that is exactly what is happening right now...

HeadAboveWater

Alikay wrote: »

Thanks, that is exactly what is happening right now...

It's just being there for them which will help them, more than you maybe realise.

Ich_2

The mix of emotions is horrendous, you go through the "do they really want me in their life" to "what have I done that they are pushing me away".
You do get to not sending messages of support as you don't know if they are being seen.

When things get better and you discuss things you get "that's the way I am, get used to it" and absolutely no sense that they want to meet you part way by maintaining some form of contact.

But you still stick by it and wait because that is who you are.