dilema-do I contact ex husbands now ex so my kids can see their half sister???

newcook

Do you know where they live? Perhaps write a letter to her asking if your kids could have contact with the baby and ask her to phone the kids on a certain day/time to make arrangements.
You could all perhaps meet in the park or a caf! if neither of you want each other at the others house at the moment.

My friend had a similar thing with her ex’s ex (well, it was actually with 2 of his ex’s who were also sisters :eek: :eek: !!!) she was able to keep up contact for a while but eventually my friend realized that it was always her arranging the contact (unless one of the ex’s wanted a free babysitter) and in the end she let it dwindle to the odd birthday/xmas card.

tyllwyd

I think you owe it to your daughter at least to try to keep a connection open. I can imagine how upset my children would have been to lose touch with a baby sister. But try not to make it sound as if you are blaming her for upsetting your daughter (not that you did in your post, but your ex's ex might be very sensitive over the situation). Maybe your daughter could write a card or draw a letter or something to give to the baby? Meeting in a neutral place like a park sounds like a good idea as well.

Desperado99

This may sound like a daft question, but are they likely to get back together?

I only ask because if they do, they may see any contact from you as 'interfering'. Depending on how things are, it may be best to let the dust settle for a bit before making contact.

zoesmummy_2006

I dont think theyre ever gonna get back together, shes gone back to an ex she was with prior to my ex ( i cant keep up with either of them lol) and is living with him. I know its in another town but I wouldnt know where.

I wouldnt blame her for upsetting my daughter or anything like that, I would simply explain it to her that my daughter, and my son, would like a relationship with their sister and that if we could be grownup enough to do that amongst ourselves it would benefit the children in the long run. My only issue is that I dont want to get involved in any arguments between her and my ex, thats their business, as is any arguments I have with him.

ognum

I think you should arrange to meet the lady and sit down and have a conversation with her.

This does not have to involve your ex it can be an arrangement between the two of you.

Could you discuss meeting in a park or ay a play centre maybe once a fortnight or once a month. have a planned day so you can explain to your children that they will be seeing there sister and how long to go, maybe a calendar to cross off.

Do you have a mobile that pictures can be sent to so you can take pics of your kids to send to the baby (I know she won't understand)and they can have recent pics of her. maybe do this on all special occasions, send pics of birthday party, new dress, day out etc.

Conversation alone just the two of you is what is needed, have a go, it may work!!

Mojisola

I would hope to keep the contact with the baby, too, for your children's sake.

The problem for me would be how this was done. I wouldn't be happy sending my children to stay with my ex's ex and her new partner. Would she be happy to leave her baby with you?

MrsAtobe

I agree with Meritaten, I'd speak to her mother. At least you would get a sense of whether or not it's likely to be well accepted.

RAS

Hi

Rather than you getting involved, how about gettig your daughter to write a little note to her half sister or to the child's mum and dropping that round to the grandma's house.

Might help your DD articulate her distress and might also make the woman think a bit more about the impact on the kids rather than responding to another woman who she does not even know?

themull1

I wouldnt get in touch if it was me. If the kids wanted to get in touch when they were older fair enough, but where does it stop if he goes with other women and has more kids?

POPPYOSCAR

Zoesmummy just wanted to say I think you are a great mum putting your feelings aside for the sake of your children, especially in the circumstances.

I would approach her, if she does not want to know at least you have tried.

Best of luck I hope it all works out for you.